


If You Really Knew Me

by louispains



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bully Harry, Bullying, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 16:42:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 70,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3141473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louispains/pseuds/louispains
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since the day Louis came out, the torment began almost instantly. He knew it would alter his life, but not like this. </p><p>Louis hated Harry, and Harry hated Louis, that’s just the way it was, the way it had always been. Louis outing himself just gave him even more reason to torment the boy. It was inevitable, really, Harry being the school’s football captain and star player, and Louis being the weird kid that was into theatre and had just come out of the closet.</p><p>One night at a party and getting lost in a forest after a bit too much to drink, Louis finds himself pressed onto the grass by the weight of a body of none other than Harry Styles. Louis discovers things about Harry that no one else knows, he realises that Harry has a secret of his own. One drunken encounter and the boys worlds come crashing down around them. They realise that their differences are irrelevant, and the way they see each other changes forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (seriously this is over a year old and the writing is terrible)
> 
> WARNING: ok so i haven't read this over in a year+ but from the little bits that i have been reading while re-posting this there's a lot of violence involved. and a lot of louis still being in love with his abuser and thinking it's in the name of love so like idk what to really tag that as but keep this in mind

Louis’ eyes filled with tears as he clutched his stomach and looked up from where he lay curled up on the floor in the middle of the school hall. He tried his hardest not to let the tears spill from his eyes, knowing that it would only make Harry happy to know that he had caused him pain.

Harry spat at him and muttered something along the lines of “fucking faggot” before turning around and walking off, Zayn and Niall tagging along behind him like the mindless followers they were.

When the three boys were out of sight and Louis could no longer see their cherry red varsity jackets among the crowd of people that seemed to pay him no attention, he began to sit up and collect his belongings from where they now lay scattered on the floor around him.

Louis couldn’t recall when this had started becoming a regular occurrence, but he knew that ever since he had come out to the whole school, the torment had begun almost instantly. Especially from those three boys in the football team.

When Louis had come out to his family they had all been so supportive, his mother had been almost overjoyed, but he figured that most of his sisters were probably too young to really understand, anyway, and now that his dad was out of the picture that didn’t matter to him any more. After receiving such a positive outcome from his family members, naturally Louis had felt inclined to tell his mates at school. (He was pretty surprised that they hadn’t picked up on it already. What with his flamboyant choices in clothing and just the way he acted, even some of his subject choices practically screamed gay - theatre and home economics).

And they were fine with it, too. Liam was happy for him no matter what, but it wasn’t the opinions of his friends that mattered, really.

It was everyone else’s. And everyone else’s opinions hadn’t been quite as brilliant.

The decision to out himself had come so easily to Louis. Although once he had, he regretted it almost immediately. It’s not that he was ashamed of being, well, the way he was. He just wished that other people, especially Harry Styles, would at least have the decency to not constantly make him feel like a piece of shit about it.

Louis rubbed at the bruise he could feel forming already at his jaw. It had been a particularly brutal beating today, Harry must have been in an especially bad mood, he decided. Although Louis’ not-so-quiet chuckle that he made when Harry’s math grades had been read aloud to the class probably didn’t ease his hatred for the slightly older boy in any way.

He fumbled with his locker, cursing at it for being so damn temperamental when he was already running late for class. This wasn’t the first time being Harry Styles’ personal punching bag had made him miss a significant amount of time from class, although Louis was slightly appreciative that whenever he eventually got to class the only spot left was up the front, so he didn’t have to make awkward conversation with people that clearly had no interest in befriending him.

As Louis sat in his ancient history class and stared out the window - yes, he finally made it to class without getting in too much trouble from his teacher - he let his thoughts roam in his head and he realised that “coming out” had changed his life a lot more than he expected it would.

Initially he thought it would just bring a new approach to things, maybe a loss of a few friends or an additional few new ones, maybe even more attention from a certain group of people. Unavoidably, however, his life had concluded to be the exact opposite of that, if anything.

Louis still had a fairly decent group of friends, it’s not like he was an outcast or anything - he had friends that understood him and supported him. But it was those snide remarks being whispered behind his back that affected him more than he cared to admit.

Louis’ thoughts were interrupted by the sounding of the bell and he realised that he had zoned out for the entirety of yet another class, something that had become an all too regular occurrence lately - he had to stop doing that.

He quickly wiped away the tear that had absent-mindedly made its way down his cheek. Other people seeing that would only cause more torment and harassment that he really didn’t need to handle right now.

Thankful that is was the beginning of the weekend, Louis spun the digits on his lock around post-haste, glad that his locker had decided to be cooperative for the time being.

Louis’ locker was located in the west wing of the school hall, a relatively non-busy area, which was why it came as even more of a shock when a hand slammed his locker closed again as soon as it was swung open.

Louis winced, hadn’t Harry had enough of beating him up for today? He turned around with a sad frown on his face and braced himself for the inevitable.

"Don’t look so happy to see me, Lou." 

The voice was gentle and soft and spoke with a chuckle. Louis sighed a breath of relief as he realised it was only Liam.

"Sorry, Li, thought you were someone else."

"Someone bothering you?" Liam asked innocently. Louis loved Liam, he really did, but sometimes his utter oblivion to Louis constant torment he received from the football captain was a bit annoying. Not that Louis would ever mention it, considering Liam was quite good friends with Harry.

"Nothing you need to be worried about, time will fix it." Louis put on his best fake grin and prayed that Liam bought it; he really wasn’t up to talking about his feelings right now.

Liam furrowed his eyebrows in thought, eyes roaming over Louis face for any form of discontentment. Louis gave him a reassuring nod and prayed that his acting ability would pay off.

Liams eyebrows shot practically to his hairline and his eyes lit up. “Well in that case, you’re coming out tonight!”

Louis cursed himself for the fact that perhaps his acting was a little too good. “Oh, look, I don’t know…”

"This is not negotiable, Tomlinson. It’s been practically years since the last time you went out. Besides, I’ve already promised Danielle that you would be at her party. She was telling a friend of hers about you and he seems quite interested." Liam wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and elbowed his friend in the ribs.

Louis rolled his eyes “I’m not going to drunkenly shag one of your girlfriends mates just so it makes her happy enough to give you a blowjob, Liam.”

"It’s not like that at all!" Liam held his hands up in front of him defensively. "I just think it would be good for you to get out of the house for once, besides, the drinks are being supplied tonight." He dipped his head and raised his eyebrows at the boy in front of him.

Louis genuinely contemplated the offer for a moment, it really had been a while since his last party and maybe getting completely sloshed would do him a bit of release. He really felt no appeal to get to know this boy, however. Even if he was a bit of a looker, Louis was sure he had the personality of a spoon as Liam really had horrible taste when it came to setting Louis up on blind dates - he knew this from experience.

Apparently he had thought about the situation for a little too long as Liam took his lack of response and contemplative face as a “yes”.

"I knew you’d give in!" exclaimed the doe-eyed boy and Louis couldn’t deny that his voice had come out resembling a somewhat squeal, before he walked away to tell Danielle the good news. He shouted giddily over his shoulder as he dodged people walking through the hall, "It starts at 8, I’ll text you the rest of the details later!"

Louis rubbed circles in his temples as he turned to rest his forehead on his locker.

Tonight was going to be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

As Louis made the short walk home that afternoon, he let his thoughts race over the days events, and more importantly, Harry Styles.

He couldn’t help but wonder why the lad hated him so much, he had never exactly done anything to evoke these unanimous feelings of hatred he had developed towards him. The only thing Louis could think of that would make him feel such a way was that he was gay.

Surely that wasn’t all, though. Surely someone couldn’t be so homophobic as to want to literally ruin someone’s life purely because they liked people of the same gender.

Louis shook his head, Harry Styles was pathetic. 

If it wasn’t for his repulsive attitude, Louis decided that he might have been quite attracted to Harry. The type of boys he usually liked were bulky and muscular with neat, light coloured locks. However there was something about Harry that he was strangely drawn to. Something about his chocolate brown curls that hung recklessly from his head, and his pale, gangly limbs made Louis’ stomach flutter involuntarily.

He shook his head to rid himself of his thoughts.

There was no way that he could be attracted to Harry, they hated each other, and that was that.

He let out a breath as he remembered the party Liam’s girlfriend was hosting tonight, suddenly thankful for the opportunity to have a bit of fun and a joke with his mates.

And the best part about it? No Harry Styles.

~*~

Louis took one last look in the mirror, running his fingers through his feathered locks to make sure they stayed in exactly the right place for the whole night. 

He pulled at the hem of his shirt, unsure if it was an appropriate outfit for a party, and contemplating whether or not to change.

He was wearing a navy blue jumper with thin white stripes and a pair of tan chinos finishing just above his ankles that accentuated his ass rather nicely, if he were to say so himself.

He pulled his phone from his pocket at read the text from Liam for what must have been the hundredth time - he could practically recite it word for word.

"52 settler wy, 8pm till whenvr u wnt t leave lol. meet me at th park nd we cn wlk th rest f th way if u wnt."

Louis rolled his eyes at his friends terrible spelling before slipping his feet into his red Toms and making his way to the front of the house.

It turned out that Danielle lived only a few streets away from Louis, so he decided to walk the whole way there. His mum hadn’t put up much of a fight when he told her about his invitation to the party, she was simply glad her son was finally going somewhere other than school or to his weekly drama classes. She slipped him a quick kiss on the cheek and a “Have fun, darling!” before practically pushing him out of the door, not even bothering to ask when he would be home.

As Louis walked the familiar route to the park at the top of Settler Way, he couldn’t help but get a little excited for the night ahead of him. He decided that it had been far too long since he last had a good time, and that he was going to get properly sloshed tonight. There was no doubt that he would probably wake up tomorrow morning stark naked in an unfamiliar bed with a raging headache. Not that he really cared, though, if it meant that he had a good time.

As he rounded the corner to the park, he noticed that Liam was already there waiting for him with a few other people from school that Louis recognised but didn’t talk to that much.

Liam looked up almost instantly, as if he had sensed his arrival, and beamed at him. “You’re late, Lou! The party started almost an hour ago.”

Louis decided that he couldn’t be bothered to try and act particularly cool tonight and simply replied “The party don’t start ‘till I walk in, Liam”

He was thankful that the other boy and girl Liam was already with laughed, understanding the Kesha reference. 

Liam rolled his eyes playfully, “Come on then, you don’t want to keep Josh waiting.” He started walking in the direction that music was already blaring from and the other three followed suit.

"Josh?…" Louis let his question trail off as he remembered accidentally agreeing to a somewhat blind date tonight. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb as he let out a sigh. "Of course, Josh…"

"Hey," Liam threw his arm around his friends shoulder "he’s a great lad, you know, I bet you two will really hit it off."

"I know nothing about him, Li."

"Well I suppose that’s the whole point in blind dates, isn’t it!" Liam grinned cheekily at his best friend as he pushed him through the gate of the house that was alive with music and flashing lights.

~*~

Once Louis was inside he made a beeline for the kitchen, remembering what Liam said about there being supplied alcohol.

He downed a generous amount of vodka shots then proceeded to mix the rest of the bottle in with a can of coke. (Although it would be more suitable to say that he mixed the coke with the vodka, considering the drink was predominantly alcohol based on the poor amount of soft drink Louis had intentionally not added.)

Just as Louis had started to feel pleasantly buzzed, a pair of hands clamped down onto his shoulders and he whirled around to see Liam side by side with a short boy that had flippy brown hair and stubble on his chin.

Louis could tell, even in his own state, that Liam wasn’t drunk; he never drank. Although despite his entirely sober state, Liam was as giddy and over the moon as ever as he threw his arm around the boy beside him. “This is Josh! And Josh, this is Louis!”

He clapped his hand on each boy’s shoulder and looked back and forward between them a couple of times, trying to tell if they seemed the least bit attracted to each other.

Louis took the opportunity to take in the appearance of the brown eyed boy. Letting his eyes roam carelessly over his features, Louis noticed that Josh had a very chiselled jaw line and a ring in the cartilage of his ear. He was clutching a beer in his hand that was already predominantly empty as he took a quick swig.

He was attractive enough, Louis decided, but there was something about him that seemed almost boring, and he knew already that he wasn’t interested. However with the help of a little - or a lot - of alcohol, Louis was already feeling more optimistic about the situation and decided that he may as well at least talk to Josh.

"Well, I hope you two have a good time!" Liam pushed them closer and quickly scooted away leaving the pair standing awkwardly side by side.

Louis suddenly changed his mind. Fuck you, Liam.

"Uh… Hey, I’m Josh." Louis looked down at the other boy and could tell by the twinkle in his eye that he was much more excited to be here than himself.

"Hi Josh, I’m Louis." He offered back, lackadaisically attempting to hold a conversation. "So, uh… How do you know Liam?"

Josh began rambling off about some long story of how they met through Danielle, and Louis prayed that it wasn’t too obvious that he wasn’t paying the slightest bit of attention.

He hoped that the occasional nod, chuckle and “oh, yeah” would pass off an act that he was intently listening to the other boys story.

As the awkward conversation progressed, so did the unwelcoming feeling that Louis was being watched. He glanced quickly to his left but was only met with a mass of sweaty, grinding bodies as they moved, grinding against each other to some generic pop song.

He glanced to his right.

Shit.

Surely not, surely the world didn’t hate him that much.

He looked again, this time for slightly longer.

Yep, sure enough, there was the face Louis had prayed wasn’t there, the face he was so sure he wouldn’t have to see tonight. And it was staring at him. The face of Harry Styles, glaring at him with daggers in his eyes and his mouth pressed tightly shut.

"For gods sake." Louis thought to himself, "If Liam had mentioned him being here I wouldn’t have even considered coming in the first place."

He noticed that the conversation between him and Josh had momentarily ceased, so he quickly prodded another just as pointless question to try and defer him from noticing the taller boy’s current distraction, and how uncomfortable he had suddenly become.

Josh picked up the conversation just as quickly as it had left off, once again rambling on about something that Louis really didn’t care about. 

When Louis thought he could do so without being obvious, he stole another quick glance in Harry’s direction, half expecting to see him making jokes with Niall and Zayn about the poor little gay boy trying to chat someone up.

When he turned to face Harry, their eyes locked. Louis couldn’t help but notice how the football captains eyes softened somewhat as their gazes met.

Louis could tell from the state his clothing was in, that Harry was already quite off his face, and he quickly blamed that for the reason that he was looking at him so, almost… longingly? Louis stared back at Harry, confused, yet unable to look away as Harry’s eyes seemed to darken and lighten simultaneously.

A flash of what could only be described as determination glinted through Harry’s green orbs as he licked his lips, and before he knew it the boy was on his feet, making his way over to Louis.

"Oh great, he’s probably coming over here to beat me up for looking at him like I want to jump his bones. Fan-fucking-tastic." Louis thought to himself as he quickly diverted his eyes back to Josh and tried to pretend that their intense stare down never happened.

Louis felt a hand wrap around his bicep and he prepared himself for what he knew was coming. 

The hand was familiar to Louis, it had punched and shoved him an unaccountable number of times before. But this time the touch it gave was different, it was gentler, and Louis was given the opportunity to properly appreciate the hugeness of Harry’s bony hand and his long, slender fingers that were just so fucking soft.

Before he knew it, Louis was being dragged out of the kitchen and into Danielle’s back yard. He threw his head over his shoulder and attempted to apologise to Josh for his sudden disappearing act, limbs flailing as he did so, although he was slightly appreciative for the change of scenery. He silently prayed that he hadn’t had quite so much to drink - maybe then he would actually be able to see where he was going and fathom what exactly was happening to him.

Half way through his expedition he suddenly remembered that it was Harry Styles pulling him determinedly through the swarm of dancing people and into the forest behind the house.

"Oh my god is this where he kills me…" Louis thought aloud, although Harry didn’t hear, or didn’t seem to respond if he had heard.

When they finally stopped running Louis looked around and realised that he had absolutely no idea where they were. The forest had come to a clearing and they were now inside a small barn that was piled with hay, cigarette butts, empty beer cans and - were those blankets?

He assumed that this was a regular hang out for people like Harry to come and joke around with his friends.

After the involuntary amount of energy Louis had just exerted in his drunken, dizzy state, he unwillingly fell to the floor. Pulling Harry who was still clutching tightly at his arm down with him. He grabbed at the grass, trying to will his head to stop spinning, yet he still fell down even further and onto his back.

He felt a gentle force pressing down on him and his eyes snapped open, suddenly feeling a lot more sobered up.

Harry Styles was laying on top of him, his thigh pressed rather seductively between Louis’. Harry Styles, the boy that hated him for no apparent reason.

"Thought I would save you from that awkward conversation," Harry spoke in a voice that was low and made Louis shiver from beneath him "it didn’t really seem to be progressing much."

Louis frowned dazedly, partly because it was strange to hear Harry speaking anything to him that wasn’t a rude name or any other form of harassment, and partly because he couldn’t deny how beautiful Harry looked under the moonlight. His face was so dangerously close to Harry’s and he drew a sharp breath as he finally noticed just how jade green his eyes really were.

"You know, Louis" Harry began again, not bothering to wait for Louis’ reply, "I’ve never told you how fucking hot I think you are." he bent down and dragged his bottom lip slowly across Louis’ collarbone, tickling his skin and causing goose bumps all over his body.

Louis gasped at the sudden contact and tried to form a coherent response. “But… but you hate me.”

Harry chuckled deeply, sending vibrations down Louis neck and making the bulge in his pants that he hadn’t noticed grow even further. “But I really don’t… Not even at all.”

With that, Harry sat up slightly to look the other boy in the eye. Louis stared at him confusedly and was utterly unable to form proper words. Part of him told him that Harry was lying and making fun of him, but the serious look on his face and the tightness he could feel in Harry’s pants confirmed otherwise.

"Harry…" Louis’ voice was cut short as Harry ducked down and their lips met in a sudden, desperate kiss.

Louis didn’t hesitate as Harry parted his lips with his tongue, claiming dominance as he licked at the other boy’s mouth.

He suddenly realised the absurdity of what was happening and he pushed Harry off reluctantly.

"You’re drunk, Harry."

Harry threw his head back and a booming laugh left his mouth a little too loudly. “Probably,” He looked down at Louis with dark eyes, and he noticed the few silent tears that had spilled their way down Harry’s cheeks. “But that doesn’t make what I’m saying any less true.”

Louis couldn’t resist reaching up and brushing Harry’s curls from his eyes. Something about seeing him in this state made his insides churn and for some reason he felt so so worried about the milky skinned boy.

"I sort of admire you, Louis" Harry began again slowly, tracing his finger along the tanned boy’s sharp collarbones, "Sometimes I wish I could be as brave as you, but I know I never…" His voice trailed off as his eyes roamed Louis face and he shook his head slightly in disbelief.

"I’d never be able to tell anyone that I’m gay."

And with that, he was pressing his lips firmly onto Louis again. But all he could think about was the fact that Harry Styles was gay - and kissing him.

One sentence from that boy’s mouth and Louis suddenly understood more about Harry than he expected he ever would. Harry’s whole life suddenly unfolded around him and his reason for torturing Louis so much was clearer than day - he was jealous of him. Jealous of how he had the courage to come out, and that he never would. Especially considering that he was the football captain for god’s sake.

Without giving it too much thought, Louis reached up and placed a hand around the back of Harry’s neck, pulling his head down to deepen the kiss further. It was meaningful, somewhat forgiving as their tongues brushed against each other.

Harry made his way down the other boys body, placing kisses to his abs as he lifted up his jumper to expose his smooth, tanned skin. Louis let him lift his jumper over his head without hesitation before gripping at the hem of Harry’s shirt and successfully doing the same.

Their shirtless bodies pressed together hotly as Harry’s lips once again met Louis’. Desperately trying to ensure him that he really wanted this - he really wanted him - it wasn’t just about the sexual release. 

Harry fumbled with Louis’ trousers and pulled them off effortlessly followed by his boxers, leaving Louis laying naked on the ground beneath him.

He leaned down toward his throbbing member and glanced up at Louis, making sure that he was okay with this, yet his face showed absolutely no form of discomfort.

Harry wrapped his hand around Louis already achingly hard length, enjoying the moan he made at the contact. He pumped his hand slowly a few times and watched as Louis squirmed beneath him.

Louis couldn’t believe this was happening. He was laying naked in a barn, in the middle of nowhere, about to shag the boy who he thought hated him for all these years. Yet every inch of his body was accepting the situation gladly and he assumed that was the immense amount of alcohol that he had consumed earlier, not that he really minded all that much.

Harry slowly wet two of his fingers with his own saliva and moved them down to Louis, continuing the steady pumping movement on his cock. He traced slowly over the boy’s opening and watched as he bit his lip and nodded desperately, awaiting the entrance of his fingers.

Louis bit his lip as Harry pushed his index finger inside, he groaned thoughtlessly with pleasure and threw his head back as he felt another finger slowly slide inside of him. 

Harry stayed still for a moment and Louis was almost shocked at how fucking gentle he was being, he half expected this to be rough and painful. He snapped his eyes shut and had to remind himself that the way Harry was staring at him was definitely not lovingly, despite how wide his pupils had grown, and that the gentle touches and kisses he was placing on his hip bones were not supposed to be affectionate - Harry was just blessed with naturally soft lips and hands.

Louis couldn’t hold back any longer.  
"Harry… I want you to - ungh - I want you to fuck me" Louis whispered between moans of pleasure.

His eyelids being tightly closed caused him to miss the unmistakeable glint of want that flashed through Harry’s eyes, and he heard the sound of a fly unzipping and finally opened his eyes to find Harry straddling him, naked.

Wow. 

This was definitely too good to be true.

"Are you an angel? Am I dead? That’s it, I’m dead aren’t I? You’ve really killed me and now this is the afterlife where everything is fantastic and -" 

Louis pointless drunken rambling ceased when he felt a pair of soft, plump lips smothering his own. The kiss was just the right balance between gentle and rough, so caring yet so erotic at the same time.

Slowly, Harry began to place a trail of sloppy kisses down Louis’ neck and collar bones, making him undeniably harder with every gentle touch of his lips.

Harry lifted his head.  
"Open your eyes, Louis." Louis couldn’t remember exactly when he had shut his eyes again, but he confusedly did as he was told and slowly parted his eyelids and looked up at Harry. As soon as their eyes locked he felt the slender boy slowly pushing his length inside of him.

Louis eyes widened noticeably and he prayed that the look of startled pleasure that he tried desperately to stifle wasn’t obvious. However the way Harry’s eyes sparkled and his lips pulled up at the edges confirmed otherwise.

Harry stilled for a moment and Louis was startled. He was actually giving him time to adjust? Why was Harry being so caring?

Louis gently bucked his hips upwards to assure Harry that he was ready, and the small thrusts began almost instantly, filling Louis completely and making him arch his back in pleasure.

Harry leaned forward over Louis as nibbled and sucked rougly at his neck, making a patch of his flesh red and raw at the pressure and he kissed it gently after his work on his skin had been done. The change in angle of his member hit a certain spot inside Louis and the way he tensed up underneath Harry made him lift his head up to see the look of sheer ecstasy on the boy’s face, before thrusting again deeply and trying desperately to hit the same spot.

"Ungh… Harry!" Louis arched his back and dug his hands into the luscious curls that belonged to the pale boy on top of him who was seemingly determined to hit that tender spot with every single movement he made. Harry was making him fall to pieces in a whimpering wreck underneath him as he screamed his name through shrieks of pleasure - and he knew it.

He moved his lips onto Louis’ and took them into another long, messy kiss. A hand wrapped around his aching-to-be-touched length and began moving in time with the thrusts that were now entering him with a faster pace.

"Harry Harry Harry Harry" Louis was rambling as he got close to the edge, but he didn’t care; this was way too good.

"Come for me, Lou." Whispered a deep, husky voice.  
Louis opened his eyes and locked his gaze onto the boy hovering over him and just like that, as if on command, he came messily in between their pulsing bodies with a murmured “Harry…”

Only mere seconds and a few thrusts later he felt warm liquid being released inside him as Harry came whilst looking deep into Louis’ eyes. The feeling alone was almost enough to make Louis shamefully hard again, but he tried so desperately to control himself.

Panting heavily, Harry pulled out slowly and Louis traced his hands down his spine as he pressed his sweaty body down onto him.

"There’s no way that just happened." Louis whispered, mostly to himself and not really expecting a reply.

Harry rolled off him and lay on his back beside Louis, staring up into nothingness while his thoughts raced and still trying to catch his breath.

A moment of silence passed and Louis felt awkward, he didn’t know what to do next, so he sat up - a little too quickly considering the stars that formed in his vision as a result of his drunken state - and made out to get dressed and leave, when he felt a pair of hands clamp steadily around his waist.

"Stay… Please."

The tone of those two short, pleading words was enough to make Louis stop right in his tracks.

Feeling bold - and strangely turned on by the other boys gravelly voice - he swooped down and met Harry’s lips in a deep, forceful kiss.

Harry pulled him back down so that they were laying facing each other on their sides, limbs tangled together and hands clamped around each others still naked bodies, their lips joined blissfully.

Neither of them were aware of how much time had passed until they simultaneously drifted off into sleep, still locked in a tight embrace.


	3. Chapter 3

Louis woke up to the tender feeling of being kissed on the cheek.

He smiled slightly at the touch, then nonetheless scrunched his eyes up and rolled over to face the opposite direction, not eager to be disturbed from his slumber at this point in time.

“Goodbye, Louis.”

The voice was softer than a whisper and definitely too low and rough to belong to his mother. It came as a shock yet still felt familiar, and somewhat comforting. The two short words, although barely audible, were definitely edged with some emotion that Louis couldn’t quite figure out, the person who had spoken them sounded so worried, so unsure of themselves. 

The intrusive though calming voice was followed up closely by a quick shuffling of feet and the gentle creak of a door being pulled closed softly.

Louis eyes snapped open - suddenly feeling much more awake as the gravelly voice provoked a hazy memory to form in his mind - and he sat up, eyes wildly darting around the room. Fuck.

He glanced at everything around him from the pile of empty beer cans in the corner, to his clothes that had been thrown aside haphazardly in the barn, to the squashed section of hay next to him where a body had lay only a few moments earlier.

Harry Styles’ body.

Oh shit.

With the realisation of last night’s events Louis suddenly became a lot more aware the throbbing pain in his head and he fell backwards into a laying position, covering his eyes with the heel of his hands.

“No, that definitely did not happen. No way, no way, no way.” Louis grumbled to himself, shaking his head against the hay.

Part of him wanted to be regretful, or even disgusted, that he had just made what could only be described as… passionate love… with the boy who had made his life a living hell for the whole of high school. But no matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t bring himself to wish that last night had never happened – it was just way too fucking good.

But why had Harry been so god damn caring? If he had at least been a little rough or wild then Louis could have just brushed it off as Harry being drunk and wanting to stick his dick in something. But the way he had touched Louis, he was so gentle. So loving. And – wait – that means that was Harry that just kissed him on the cheek? Okay now that was REALLY uncalled for.

Louis’ eyes snapped open again. His memory of last night was still incredibly bleary, but there was no way in hell that he could ever forget this.

Harry had confessed to him that he was gay.

He closed his eyes again and groaned, willing the knowledge of the curly haired boys dark secret to disappear from his head forever.

Where did this leave the relationship – could he call it a relationship? – between the two of them now? Was Harry going to stop beating him up in school? He doubted it; people would start getting suspicious if Harry suddenly stopped giving Louis a hard time for no apparent reason. They would start asking questions that neither of them had the answers to.

Were they going to see each other again?  
Did Harry want to see Louis again? 

Well he sure as hell hoped so.

~*~

Louis’ Saturday was spent busily helping his mum clean the house and look after his sisters, and his Sunday was spent working at the local supermarket – serving excessively rude customers and praying to be euthanized – so this left him little time to think about the happenings of Friday night. Much to his delight, really, he simply wanted to push that memory aside until he was in a properly stable state of mind and could consider it without all the added emotions that came with being hung over.

However, when he woke to the indiscreet blaring of his alarm clock on Monday morning, he knew that now he was finally going to have to face the dreaded facts.

He rolled out of bed and slumped into the bathroom without so much as opening his eyes. It’s not that he didn’t want to see Harry – because really, that couldn’t have been more false – he just wasn’t sure if he should act differently around the curly haired lad now. Or more importantly, if he was going to act differently around Louis. Surely the fact that they had slept together and that Louis now knew something big about Harry that no one else did, should change their interactions even slightly?

"No." Louis said aloud into the empty bathroom, startling himself slightly at the loudness of his words. The rest of his conversation to himself was continued inside his head,  
"There’s no way you’re just going to get up and forgive that little prick for the years of shit he’s given you for being gay just because he fucked you."

Louis decided now wasn’t the time to think about how well and how lovingly he had fucked him, and tried to steady his thoughts about staying angry with Harry.

"No freaking way." He spoke aloud again.

~*~

Louis managed to pass through the swarm of students and get to his locker without running into Harry, thankfully. He presumed that the longer he could go without seeing the curly haired lad, the more time he had to convince him self that Friday night had never happened, and that he had simply dreamed it all up.

The slowly fading bruises on his neck and collarbones reminded him otherwise.

When Louis arrived at his english lesson - actually on time for once, having escaped Harry’s daily beating - he noticed that the corresponding lad was not yet at class. 

Naturally, Louis immediately assumed the worst. Not that he was entirely sure what exactly he was assuming, he just knew it was something bad.

Harry was always at school, he had no need to be absent unless he was really ill. 

Amongst Louis’ undeniable fear and anxiety, there was also a sense of relief in the absence the now-mysterious boy, relief that he didn’t have to face the inevitable just yet. Why was he so worried about Harry anyway? It’s not like just one night of the best sex he’s actually ever had will automatically make up for the fact that Harry practically tortured him for the entirety of his high-schooling life.

Will it?

Louis was interrupted from his thoughts when there was a brief knock at the classroom door, before it swung open slowly and rather awkwardly to reveal the tall, lean figure of Harry Styles.

Louis didn’t know it was even possible, but his heart stopped and started beating faster simultaneously. His breath caught in his throat and he had to swallow quickly to stop himself from letting out a small whimper. Beads of sweat broke out across his forehead underneath his feathered caramel fringe. "Calm the fuck down" he thought to himself, trying to steady his breath.

"Erm… Sorry I’m late." Harry mumbled from the doorway, not earning much of a response from the teacher other than a wave of her hand signalling for him to find a seat.

He shifted his weight on the spot and glanced around the classroom seemingly in search for something.

"Shit, please don’t see me, shit shit shit." Louis mind was buzzing inside his head. He knew that Harry’s eyes would meet his any moment now, yet he couldn’t bring himself to rip his gaze away from the gorgeous dark haired boy at the front of the classroom to avoid potential eye contact.

Then Harry’s eyes met his and stopped there, flashing immediately with an unexpected expression.

Time seemed to stand still and get faster all at the same time. Harry’s emotions were unreadable and seemed to be changing rapidly behind his eyes the longer their eye contact was held. Louis was almost certain that his mouth was gaping open, but the numbness he for some reason now felt in his face under the stare of Harry made it hard to decipher his current jaw placement.

"Mr Styles? Please find your seat." The teachers voice rang through the room and destroyed their indisputable moment.

Harry looked away quickly and Louis had to try and convince himself that he in fact didn’t see the noticeable shade of pink crawling down Harry’s neck and across his cheeks as he stuffed his hands in his pants pockets and walked to his desk at the back of the classroom.

The rest of the lesson went basically as normal, not that Louis would really have noticed if anything out of the ordinary had happened, considering he was not paying the slightest bit of attention to the rambling of his teacher and the words scribbled across the whiteboard at all.

How could he when all he was aware of at that moment were the pair of jade green eyes burning holes through the back of his head from the corner of the room. Harry was watching Louis’ every move and he felt like he was an insect under a microscope. It was making him sweat.

The bell finally rang and Louis leapt from his desk and practically bounded out of the classroom - having packed his books away a good ten minutes before the end of class (a little too eager, maybe?) - to get to his drama lesson and away from those scrutinising green orbs as quickly as possible.

No such luck.

He had just rounded the corner from the main hall and had now entered the East wing of the school, the section that was dedicated to “The Arts” so Harry really had no business being here, considering he wouldn’t be caught dead in a drama class and had next to no talent when it came to playing an instrument.

"Louis, wait." The voice unmistakably belonged to Harry, yet it wasn’t edged with the usual snickering tone and he wasn’t calling him "Tomlinson" like he usually did when he was tormenting him at school.

The hallway was relatively empty, with the exception of the occasional student quickly bustling through, noses buried in sheet music or a script that they were trying desperately to memorise for their next class, so Louis wasn’t worried that anyone would see him talking to Harry Styles.

Not that anyone would bother to ask him about it if they had seen, anyway.

Louis stopped, but didn’t turn around. 

"What do you want, Harry." Louis made a conscious effort to keep his voice at an even level, but he wasn’t so sure how well that had turned out as his own heartbeat was currently all he could hear in his ears.

Harry was much closer now and he could hear his breaths behind him, heavy from determinedly chasing Louis through the hall.

"I just want to talk to you." Harry replied breathlessly. His voice was anything but confident and practically a whisper, partly from being out of breath and partly because he didn’t want anyone to overhear their conversation.

Louis didn’t reply straight away, nor did he turn around or give any indication that he planned on doing so any time soon. He had to give himself time to think of a response that would make him seem at least somewhat sure of himself.

Before he could gather anything to say back, a pair of large and recognisably Harry-ish hands clamped around his waist and pulled him sharply to the side of the corridor. Louis didn’t even try to get away, mostly because he knew that Harry was stronger than him and he wouldn’t be able to fight him off anyway, but there was a part inside of him that wanted to go where Harry was taking him, it wanted to hear what he had to say.

Harry messily pushed both of them into the handicapped toilet cubicle and locked the door behind them.

Scared, furious, nervous, excited, disgusted, intrigued, aroused… Louis didn’t know how to feel right now.

The milky-skinned boy turned to face Louis, curls covering half of his face and avoiding eye contact.

"What the hell are you doing?" Louis voice came out a little more angry and rude than he had anticipated and the way that Harry flinched at his words made him, for the first time ever, regret the way he had treated the other boy.

Harry furrowed his brow slightly and glanced up to make eye contact with the other boy for the first time today. Louis definitely did not notice the way Harry’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and licked his lips before he replied,

"We have to talk about this sooner or later."

Louis didn’t respond for a moment too long.

"About what happened on Friday." Harry prompted.

Louis waved his hand and closed his eyes to silence Harry. “I know what you’re talking about, Harry.”

A silence that was a little too awkward hung dauntingly in the room as neither of the boys really wanted to be the first to insinuate the discussion of the topic.

"I meant everything I said."

Harry definitely didn’t mumble or whisper and Louis had clearly understood what he said, but nevertheless he replied “What?”   
His mouth formed a small “o” and his eyes widened conspicuously.

"Everything I said on Friday, I meant it." Harry confirmed, eyes still connected with Louis’ to ensure the other lad that he was being honest.

"About you being gay? But… That’s not… And then we, you know… You mean-"

Louis’ awkward stuttering was ceased abruptly by the smothering of his own lips with a softer, more plump pair that belonged to none other than Harry Styles. He had stepped forward and closed the space between their bodies, pressing Louis up against the opposite wall of the cubicle with nowhere to run, not that he was going to try.

Louis froze up at the sudden contact and at how god damn bold and sure of himself Harry had suddenly become, but before he knew it he was subconsciously opening his mouth wider and sliding his tongue into Harry’s mouth, roaming around every delicious inch.

Louis took advantage of his now sober state to fully enjoy Harry’s kisses properly. He noticed how perfectly their lips sat between each other and how expertly his tongue danced around his mouth, he noticed the way that Harry would sometimes take his bottom lip between his teeth as he pulled away and dragged it out a little before releasing it, only to dive forward again immediately and lock their lips together yet again.

Harry lifted one of his hands to the side of Louis’ face and tangled his fingers amongst his soft locks gently. His other hand found its way down and wedged its way between the wall to plant itself firmly on the juicy plumpness that is Louis ass, squeezing softly.

Louis had only just begun to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck and pull their bodies impossibly closer before he realised the actual insanity of what was happening and had to stop himself before he got well and truly carried away.

He planted his hands firmly on Harry’s chest and pushed him off, splitting their bodies apart and shaking his head to rid his mind of any approving thoughts he was unwillingly developing for the boy.

Harry stumbled back and looked at Louis through cloudy eyes, confused.

"You make me sick." Louis spluttered after quickly studying the taller boys face.

He fumbled with the lock and stormed out of the cubicle, entirely missing the expression that had crawled onto Harry’s face like he had just had his heart ripped clean out of his chest.

He made his way quickly down the now completely empty hallway, his thoughts whirling and eyes burning and threatening to spill over with tears at any moment.

He headed in the entirely opposite direction of his drama classroom, he was already a good fifteen minutes late anyway and he could hardly be expected to concentrate on school work at a time like this.

The door to a supply cupboard had been left ajar and Louis willingly threw himself inside the small room and slammed the door shut behind him, falling to the floor in a puddle of his own emotions. He just needed some time to think.

What the fuck had just happened?

Neither of them had been drunk this time, so there was no denying what they had just done. Harry actually wanted to kiss Louis, and more importantly, he actually confirmed that he meant what he had said the other night.

But that didn’t matter, no. Louis shook his head of the thoughts. Harry was a sad excuse for a human being. He had made Louis dread waking up and coming to school every morning because he treated him like shit every day.

There was no way that Louis was going to forgive Harry now simply because he was gay too.

Not the slightest possibility that just because Harry Styles, the football captain and essentially the toughest, most popular kid in school, had just told him a secret that could change his life and ruin his reputation forever, that he was suddenly going to forget every punch or shove, every discriminating and homophobic name, every snickering laugh that burst from his mouth as he made a joke about Louis’ sexuality, and forgive him.

Not a chance. Louis had to stand his ground.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sounding of the lunch bell. The interfering noise and a quick glance at his watch exposed the fact that Louis had apparently been in here for a lot longer than what it seemed.

The mess of a boy picked himself up off the floor and straightened out his clothing that had partially fallen off from sitting in such a position. He wiped at his face, removing any trace of the tears that had unwillingly streamed from his eyes for a reason Louis couldn’t quite decipher. 

He paused and took a few deep breaths before twisting the door handle and walking out into the hallway that was already bustling with gleeful students who had finally escaped from their classes.

As Louis stared at the ground and made the familiar journey to his locker, he almost forgot about Harry, almost. He tried to focus on other things - anything; school, what he was going to have for dinner that night, the realisation that he really needed a new pair of shoes - and it was working, so far.

It wasn’t until he turned the corner into the west wing - where his locker was situated - that he saw that accusing mop of curls right in front of his locker, that Louis felt every single memory that he had been trying so desperately to forget come crashing back down on him like a tidal wave.

Louis stopped in his tracks and just stared at Harry, unsure of what to do next.

He studied every inch of Harry as he stood there, he ran his eyes over the expanse of sickly pale skin along his neck and every curve of his knuckles. Louis swallowed sharply and tried to push away the memory of how soft those long bony fingers felt when they were wrapped around him, pumping up and down.

He quickly shifted his eyes to Harry’s face and immediately felt a strange feeling in his stomach, like he was going to be sick and implode at the same time. The curly haired lads face was twisted into a jeering smirk and his entrancing eyes were now sharp and cold. Louis noticed for the first time that Niall and Zayn were standing on either side of him, slightly behind, their arms crossed intimidatingly. 

Louis looked Harry in the eye and watched as those spectacular orbs that only seconds earlier were once again rimmed with rage and disgust and disrespect, suddenly softened and seemed to turn glossy as the two boys gazes met.

After a slight hesitation Harry blinked and ruined what could have almost turned into a moment, furrowing his brow and once again contorting his face into a hideous - yet so fucking sexy - expression of anger. He clenched his fists and strode determinedly towards the shamelessly feminine boy who was staring right back at him.

Louis knew what was coming.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hello there, Tomlinson" Harry hissed in his beautifully gruff voice, eyeing him up and down as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. Louis knew that voice, he knew how it sounded when it was desperate or filled with pleasure, hearing it like this now just felt wrong.

Louis refused to make eye contact and instead turned his head to the side and slumped against the wall that he had been involuntarily pushed up against. He thought back to when he had been in this same position a few short moments earlier, only the mood had been entirely different and - although he would never admit it - Louis had enjoyed it.

Louis’ lack of a response made Harry scoff, “Well, look who’s grown a bit of an attitude.” He glanced to each of the boys at his sides before raising his eyebrows and smirking at the boy he had cornered.

"What do you want, Harry."  
Louis spoke lowly, frowning at the curly haired boy.

Harry decided to ignore Louis’ obviously irritated tone.  
"I just wanted to have a little chat, Tommo." There was a sense of sarcasm behind his mocking words, as he threw an arm around Louis’ shoulder and smiled menacingly down at him.   
"It’s been a while and I thought we could have a little catch up session. You know, a little heart-to-heart?"

He squeezed his shoulder but earned as much as an eye roll and a shake of the head from Louis.

"Don’t feel like talking, gayboy?" Harry asked - although he wasn’t really waiting for an answer - as he returned to stand in front of the boy before him.

"Or are you too busy fantasising about being touched by me." his mouth curved into a wicked smirk as he stroked his hand slowly up Louis thigh. This earned an artificial chuckle from Zayn and Niall behind him, although neither of them really though it was that funny.

Louis snapped his head towards Harry, making eye contact for the first time of this unwanted meeting, and shook his head in disgust. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I was thinking about.”

"Well," Harry raised his eyebrows at him "I’m going to have to punish you for thinking about me like that, you know." He smirked "It’s downright disgusting."

Louis made no effort to get away, mostly because it was obvious that Harry was a lot stronger than him and would be able to catch him, bringing him back into his vicious clutches. But also because he knew that if he had happened to escape, his punishment - for an unknown action - would be even worse next time.

Harry raised his own fist to his mouth and kissed his knuckles. He winked at Louis - positive that the boys behind him couldn’t see - and paused for a moment, just looking at Louis.  
Before he knew it, Harry dived forward and threw his fist forcefully into the corner of Louis’ mouth.

The caramel haired boy fell backward from the contact and felt his body slam harshly against the wall behind him.

He scrunched his eyes shut and prepared himself for the next punch or kick or shove - but it never came. 

Confusedly, Louis slowly lifted his eyelids to find Harry’s face only centimetres away from his own, his eyes more confusing to read than they had ever been before.

Before he had much time to react, the curly haired boy was inching even closer and for a second Louis thought their lips might join and Harry would essentially come out in the most weird way possible, until he veered his head to the right at the last moment and kissed Louis’ cheek gently.

"Goodbye, Louis." he whispered so that only he could hear, without moving his head, mimicking the departure of Saturday morning.

He pulled away and stared at Louis for a moment with the same look in his eye that Louis couldn’t quite figure out, before he placed his hands on the boys shoulders and pushed him considerably un-gently towards the floor.

He strode away from Louis - his minions Niall and Zayn following - without so much as turning around, and yelled out behind him “See you tomorrow, faggot.” 

In his new seating arrangement on the floor Louis cradled his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead on his arms.

He sat there for a moment - not really wanting to move - and realised a few things. Firstly he realised that Harry’s punch must have been a lot harder than he initially had thought because his lip was now bleeding and the pain was spreading down into his neck and causing a dull ache, he realised that this was a position he had found himself in far too many times before, and most importantly, Louis realised that this would probably be a position that he would be finding himself in a lot more because, in fact, nothing had changed. Harry had beaten him up again and any traces of feelings that they had developed for each other previously had been destroyed with the swift punch to Louis’ mouth.

But why did Harry stop after only one punch? Why did he wink at him? Most importantly, why the fuck had he kissed him on the cheek?

"Forget it" Louis thought to himself, "He still beat you up again and that’s all that matters."

The undeniable disappointment was an emotion that Louis tried to push to the back of his head as he sat on the floor of the now empty corridor. Wasn’t this what he wanted? For Harry to leave him alone so that they could go back to hating each other?

Yes, it was exactly what he wanted.

Or so he tried to convince himself anyway, because the emotions that Louis was feeling in his sad bundle on the floor were the furthest away from glad that anyone could ever experience. 

~*~

"Louis, is that you?"  
Great, he had literally just walked through the door and already his hopes of avoiding his mother had been destroyed.

Despite having looked in the mirror, he was certain that his jaw was already beginning to bruise, the the taste of metal in his mouth informed him that his lip had been bleeding. He knew he’d have a hard time explaining that to his mum.

"Hi mum" He called into the house as he started to make his way toward the stairs at a poor attempt to avoid her scrutinising eyes.

Apparently the world decided to take a massive shit on Louis’ life, because she popped her head around the corner just before he reached the bottom step, hand already on the railing.

"Why are you home so late from school?"  
Her voice wasn’t mad, but it seemed overly worried and already Louis was becoming annoyed with the excessive amount of attention she was paying him.

He knows that she only loves him and is worried about him, but honestly, can’t she just give him some space sometimes?

Now would be a great time for some space, for example.

"I just… I had to use the library, mum." He lied easily, refusing to make eye contact as she would no doubt notice his already bruising mouth and bleeding lip if he moved his head any closer to hers. He really didn’t think he was up to explaining that right now.

"Really? Because I… Boo bear?" She stopped mid way through her sentence and pulled him back by his arm that was still clutching onto the railing. "What happened here?!"   
Who was Louis to think that he could have such luck as to get by unnoticed? Of course the world hated him and had to make his life suck even more.

"Nothing mum, I just hit myself in the face with my locker. You don’t need to worry, really." mumbled the nervous boy as he refused to look at his mother in the eye.

Jay’s tone of voice had now gone from being concerned to angry, she knew she was being lied to.   
"Is that right?" She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms defensively "Then why do I have one of your friends in the kitchen, terrified, claiming they saw you getting beaten up this afternoon and wanting to check if you are okay?"

Louis head snapped up and he finally made eye contact with his mother.

"Liam’s here?" he thought aloud confusedly. "But it’s a Monday afternoon he should be at soccer practice why is - "

Jay cut off his stupid babbling, “No not Liam.” Quite thankfully, really, she was starting to worry that the doe-eyed boy was her sons only friend. Not that she didn’t like Liam - she loved him - but she knew it wasn’t healthy to have only one good friend.

As if he had been listening to the whole conversation, the boy that Jay had been harbouring in the kitchen promptly stepped around the corner and gazed up at Louis with big, glistening eyes that made it look like he had been crying.

Louis felt like he was going to be sick. He didn’t say anything for a moment and simply stood there, staring at the boy in front of him, taking in all of his features to make sure his eyes weren’t deceiving him. Because surely this wasn’t happening.

Arms that were too long for his body, sickly white skin covering his limbs that stuck out from under his clothes, big bright green eyes that seemed somewhat red around the edges now, and last but definitely not least, that unmistakable mop of chocolate brown curls that sat atop his head and swooped effortlessly to one side.

There was no mistaking the fact, it was Harry Styles.

"Keeping things bottled up won’t do you any good Boo. I’ll leave you two boys alone for a minute. But Louis, you have some serious explaining to do when we’re alone okay." She waltzed from the room without a second thought, leaving the two boys standing in front of each other wordlessly. 

It didn’t really surprise Louis that Harry knew where he lived - he had followed him home from school to torment him with Niall and Zayn plenty of times before. What really confused him was the fact that he was actually in his house, that he had actually come to see if he was okay.

But why did he even care? He was the one that did this to his face anyway.

Neither of the boys really knew how to react. So, without much contemplating the subject Louis simply turned away and walked up the stairs, hoping Harry would get the message that he didn’t want to talk to him, and leave - but half hoping that he would follow him up.

Louis shut his bedroom door and fell face-first onto his bed. He lay there in silence for a moment and thought that maybe he was going to be left alone - denying to himself how disappointed he felt that Harry hadn’t joined him.

The sound of the door creaking open then slowly thumping shut again informed him otherwise. The caramel-haired boy swallowed to try and rid himself of the butterflies that started to form in his stomach.

He sat up and snapped his head towards Harry.

"What the fuck are you doing here" he hissed.

Harry looked noticeably awkward and a lot less intimidating in his room, his figure hung clumsily in the corner and he just wasn’t sure what to do with his hands.  
"I need to talk to you, Louis"

Louis made a sound of disapproval as he cocked an eyebrow at the boy, not afraid of using his sass. “I’m listening.”

Harry slowly made his way toward Louis’ bed and perched cautiously on the edge, a lot closer to Louis than was entirely necessary. There was a pause that sat just on the line between awkward and comfortable before Harry sighed deeply. He twisted to face Louis and cupped his chin and pulled his face in line with his so they could make eye contact. 

He ran his long, bony fingers along the chiselled jaw of the boy in front of him, pausing to gently caress the corner of his mouth that was already bruising.

"Fuck, Lou." He shook his head and his eyes grew noticeably softer. "I’m just so fucking sorry." 

After a pause that wasn’t awkward enough to be described as hesitation, the curly haired lad leaned in and broke whatever small space their was between them, capturing Louis’ lips in a kiss that was oh so fragile.

"I don’t want this to end, oh my god I never want this to end. Fuck, this is Harry Styles, I’m kissing Harry Styles. I can’t do this, no no no no his lips are so soft. Fuck, Louis, stop!"

Louis pulled away reluctantly and turned his head in the opposite direction of the boy next to him.

He tried to steady his breathing so that he could sound sure of himself, “I think you should leave, Harry.”

The room was still for a moment as Harry clearly was unwilling to exit the room. But he did as he was told and rose from the comfort of Louis bed and made his way toward the door. He paused for a moment, hand on the door handle, with a sliver of hope that Louis would change his mind and call out for Harry to come back. But when the only noises coming from the other boy were heavy, uneven breaths, he pulled the door open and walked away from him without so much as turning around.

~*~

The next two weeks went by principally Harry-free for Louis. They still saw each other in classes, obviously, but they hadn’t actually spoken properly in a while.

Louis did his best to forget that undeniable Friday afternoon last week where he had found Harry waiting for him by his locker after school. However, presuming that nothing good would come from the situation, Louis had walked away without being seen by the lad and had walked home without even visiting his locker.

During his walk home he couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if he did meet Harry only moments prior. What were his intentions on talking to him anyway?

If he was just planning on beating him up again because he had a shit say, the n Louis had no regrets in walking away. Then again, Niall and Zayn weren’t with him so maybe he had just wanted to talk? Maybe he wanted to fix the whole situation?

It didn’t matter, there was nothing to talk about. They hated each other and they would never be anything more than enemies, right? Right. 

Louis had almost convinced himself that any feelings he had towards Harry were completely irrelevant - almost.

~*~

It was Thursday afternoon, nearly exactly two weeks since Louis and Harry’s almost meeting outside Louis’ locker, and Louis was currently in the middle of his physical education class.

Usually Louis hated P.E. as it was filled with torment from Harry about his sporting abilities, and how gay he looked when he ran. However today, the football captain didn’t put in any sort of effort to make his lesson any more miserable. Louis was concerned that some of his classmates, specifically Zayn and Niall, were going to get suspicious that Harry hadn’t given him a beating in what was almost weeks - but Louis couldn’t complain, right?

"Alright class, go for a warm-down lap then you can go ahead get changed." The coach shouted in his booming voice.

Great, running. Louis was always shit at running. He knew there was no way to get out of it though so, reluctantly, he started jogging around the perimeter of the oval along with the rest of his classmates.

Naturally Louis fell behind the pack, not because he was unfit, he just simply couldn’t run as fast as everyone else, much to his displeasure. 

Louis ignored the jeering laughs a few of his peers made as they turned around to look at him struggling to keep up. He suspected Harry to turn around and do the same, to finally break his two weeks of no harassment, but he didn’t. He kept running forward.

After what seemed like an eternity, Louis finally reached the end of the track. He was slightly pleased with himself that he had managed to stay within a five metre distance of the pack of girls at the back for the first time ever, when his smug thoughts were shattered and he came tumbling down to the floor.

"Can’t keep up princess?" 

Louis rolled onto his back and propped himself up with his elbows as he squinted his eyes up at the boy who had just tripped him. The ginger haired boy shook his head and laughed with a few of his mates before he kicked Louis - not too hard, but definitely too hard to be playfully - in his side. Causing him to fall flat on the floor and clutch at his side in pain. Sure, it didn’t even hurt that much, but it was better to play dead now before this got any worse.

"What the fuck are you doing Ed?"

The ginger’s snickering laughs ceased at the voice and he slowly turned around to face the boy who’s lips it had left.

Harry.

"Excuse me?" He pulled a melodramatic confused expression and raised his eyebrows at the curly haired boy.

"Back off okay."

"And since when do you give a fuck about him? Wait, don’t tell me you-"

"Listen Ed, just leave him the fuck alone," Harry began walking intimidatingly towards him, "or you’ll be sorry."

There was a chorus of ooh’s and aah’s from the surrounding students.

"I’m sorry… was that a threat?"

"Yeah, yeah I think it was."

"You little-"

Ed’s sentence was cut off short by a swift, unexpected punch to his jaw that was hard enough to send him flying backward and landing on the floor in a heap.

He looked up at Harry, eyes wide and dumbfounded as he clutched the side of his face, before his expression turned to anger and he stood up, throwing a punch at Harry but failing terribly. Harry was much too fast and strong, so he grabbed his wrist mid-punch and twisted it the way it wasn’t supposed to turn.

Harry shoved Ed down onto the floor and spat at him viciously before turning away.

He hesitated a moment when his eyes met Louis’ and flashed a mixture of emotions. His mouth opened and closed like a goldfish a couple of times as if he was going to say something, but he quickly bit his bottom lip and ripped his gaze away, continuing on his walk towards the change rooms.

Louis lay there in the grass for what was probably a little too long. His classmates had all already gone off to shower and get changed and their coach was long gone, however he couldn’t find the strength to bring himself to get up off the floor.

What the fuck had just happened?

~*~

When Louis finally entered the change rooms, they were empty aside from one closed cubicle with the water of the shower still running inside, and a boy that was just exiting as he was entering.

Without hesitation, Louis headed towards his locker and began twisting the lock. 

The shower stopped and the door opened. Louis ignored it.

Louis pulled his locker open and pulled out his bag and towel. He turned around to make his way toward a cubicle. 

Their eyes met instantly and Louis drew in a sharp breath at the sight.

Harry had emerged from the shower and was standing only metres away, simply gazing with dark eyes at the other boy and not moving.

He was dressed in only a white fluffy towel wrapped around him low on his hips. His skin was still glistening with moisture and his hair had been slicked back and hung dripping at his ears.

Louis could feel his pants getting tighter around his growing bulge at the sight of the other boy so exposed.

Both of the lads had subconsciously moved closer and close toward each other and were now so close that they could feel each others warm breaths and Harry had to dip his head down slightly to look Louis properly in the eye.

"Th-thanks… for before." Louis breathed as he clutched onto his bag so tight that his knuckles were turning white.

Harry only nodded silently without looking away from the tanned boy before him.

"Aren’t you worried what people will think? I mean…"

"Don’t care." He shook his head slightly, causing water to drip from his hair and create pools in his collar bones. He stepped forward and pushed their bodies together, leaving his arms down by his sides.

Louis drew in a breath at the sudden contact. Harry’s skin was cool and he could feel the moisture soaking into his shirt and causing goosebumps to form across his body. The bulge in his pants was growing excruciatingly and Harry smiled when he felt it harden against his leg.

Louis swallowed and gazed deep into Harry’s eyes and the sexual tension finally became too much.

He dropped his belongings at his sides and threw his arms around Harry’s neck and pulled his head down to smother his soft, plump lips desperately with his own.

Instantly, Harry’s hands made their way to the small of Louis’ back and he pulled the shorter boy in impossibly closer.

Staggering backwards blindly, Harry pulled at the hem of Louis shirt and he drew his lips away momentarily so the intruding piece of material could be discarded on the floor. 

Harry slammed Louis’ back against the wall, hands roaming over the expanse of skin that was now available as he sucked at his neck and ground his hips down onto Louis’ needily. 

Louis let his eyes close as he lolled his head back against the wall, forgetting the grudge he had been trying to build up against Harry and allowing himself to get completely lost in the smoothness of Harry’s lips at his neck and the gentle touch of his bony fingers against his torso.

Before long Harry was pulling Louis’ sport shorts down to his ankles and discarding his own towel and getting onto his knees in front of him and - oh, okay - Louis definitely wasn’t complaining.

He moved forward teasingly, now so close that Louis could feel his warm breaths on his exposed cock. He arched his back as he awaited the pleasure and bit his lip as he looked down at Harry, who was looking right back up at him.

He smirked and stuck out his tongue to lick a line along the underneath of his cock, teasing him. Louis let out a shameless moan at the contact and realised that he was biting his lip a bit too hard when the metallic taste of blood covered his tongue.

Harry licked up the side of Louis’ erection once more, this time ever slower, before diving forward and enveloping his entire length in the warmth of his mouth.

At the immediate sight, Louis had to snap his eyes shut instantly to will himself not to come right there and then from the way the pale boys lush pink lips were pursed around his cock. Or the way that his big green eyes were staring up at him stupidly as his head bobbed up and down expertly.

Then Harry was moving his head down even further and Louis felt his tip bump the back of his throat and his warm lips around his base, and the embarrassing noise that left Louis’ lips was full of amazing pleasure.

Their actions were ceased when a sound of muffled voices echoed from outside the change rooms.

"Fuck." Louis mumbled and he heard the "pop" of Harry moving his lips away from his cock. "We’re going to get caught, shit."

Harry seemed to glance around helplessly like a lost toddler looking for their mother, before his gaze landed on the shower cubicle next to them and his green eyes turned dark with mischief. 

He grabbed Louis by the hand and pushed him into the cubicle just as the door to the change rooms opened and two loud boys walked inside. They had got in unnoticed, never mind the fact that their clothes were discarded on the floor all through out the room.

Harry turned and walked toward Louis in the shower, pressing him against the wall with his body. “They won’t find us in here, babe.” He whispered, sending hot breath down Louis neck and making him shiver, as he reached behind him and turned the taps on.

The warm water hit their bodies and quickly made the small cubicle turn steamy as Louis wrapped his legs around Harry’s waist, allowing himself to be pressed into the wall as Harry sucked and bit desperately at his neck - hands holding him up at his behind.

Harry moved his hips slightly so that their groins were rubbing together, throwing his own head back at the pleasure of final contact to his cock before diving forward again to capture Louis in a sloppy kiss.

He slid one of his hands down and slowly circled a finger around Louis entrance, waiting for a sign of disapproval - but it never came, so he gently pushed two fingers inside, the water and steam from the shower providing all the lubricant necessary. 

Louis moaned gently against Harry’s lips as he slowly scissored his fingers inside him, grinding his hips down at a desperate attempt to take more inside of him.

A short moment later Harry was pulling his head back and gazing into Louis eyes. He lifted him upwards slightly to allow an easier access, and pushed his cock slowly, deep inside Louis.

Louis let out an audible moan of pleasure as he felt Harry slipping inside of him, and clamped a hand over his mouth as he remembered the presence of two other boys in the same room. His eyes grew wide.

There was a knock at the shower door only a short moment later.  
"You, um… alright in there mate?"

"Yeah I’m fine. Just, ah… hit my toe that’s all." Louis quickly called back, Harry still thrusting slowly inside him.

"Okay, well… Be careful, I guess."

As if doing it on purpose, Harry took the moment to angle himself differently and thrust deep inside Louis, hitting that particular spot that made the quivering boy cry out again, this time even louder.

There was an awkward “Um…” from outside the cubicle and Louis blushed in shame before Harry was thrusting in and out of him even harder and all he could focus on was the presence of the boy in front of him.

Harry began to pick up the speed and he could tell he was getting close from the way his hands tightened around his ass and his teeth bit down on his bottom lip as they kissed. Part of him didn’t want this to end but as he could feel himself ready to spill over the edge as well, he started twisting his hips against Harry’s cock and grinding him impossibly deeper inside of him.

With a moaned “Louis…” Harry was blowing his load deep inside and filling Louis up as he too came between their bodies, squirting his hot liquid onto their chests only to be washed away instantly by the shower still raining down on them.

As the pleasure of the moment erupted through his body he had struggled to remember exactly why he was trying to forget Harry and how he was able to cause him such pleasure.

Harry lifted him up slightly and pulled himself out before he let Louis’ legs slip down and his feet land softly on the floor.

They stood there for a moment under the rapidly cooling water, trying to capture their breath again, simply gazing into each other’s eyes, feeling the fresh water run over their skin and cool some of the previous heat of the situation.

Harry dipped his chin and kissed Louis again, as if silently thanking him.

And in that moment, Louis swore that he had never been more sure of something in his life.

He was utterly head over heels for Harry Styles.


	5. Chapter 5

By the time Louis finally got home, it was almost dark and there was already the delicious smell of something cooking flowing from inside his kitchen. 

He discarded his shoes and school bag by the front door and waltzed into the kitchen with a huge grin from ear to ear.

"What’s cooking, mum? Smells delicious." He leaned up against the door frame.

His mother looked up at him, startled by his sudden entrance into the room. He noted that her previously worried expression faded into a small smile when her eyes took in the gleeful state of her son.

"Where have you been, mister? It’s almost dark!" Her voice was joking even though she was genuinely concerned about her sons whereabouts.

"Ah, just hanging out with some friends, mum, nothing you need to worry about." He wasn’t completely lying, right?

Jay seemed sketchy about her sons response, but was nevertheless thrilled that he was spending time with someone other than Liam and his sisters. “As long as you’re not doing anything that could get you into trouble.”

Louis laughed aloud - oh she really had no idea - certain that his mother would interpret his laugh as a response to her comment.

Jay furrowed her eyebrows a little in thought before she smirked and pointed the wooden spoon she was using in her sons direction teasingly. 

"This isn’t about that Harry boy that was here the other day, is it?" She wiggled her eyebrows at him.

Louis hesitated for a moment, before realising that of course his mother had practically no idea what had just happened between him and Harry only moments before. “Could be.” He winked at his mother before gliding across to plant a sloppy kiss on her cheek and waltzed out of the room singing happily to himself.

Jay laughed to herself, shaking her head as Louis left the room. “He’s a good catch!” she called out after him, and giggled when she was answered with an “I know!” coming from the next room.

~*~

It was a typical Saturday for Louis. It started with the unwanted blaring of his alarm clock and the knowledge that he had to get ready for work within the next hour, and was filled with “Hello, how can I help you?”s “Have a nice day”s and “Paper or plastic?”s. Yeah, it was a pretty average day.

Louis hated his job. When asked why, he often couldn’t think of an entirely logical response, but he assumed that it was something to do with the general rudeness of most customers and the fact that the store manager treated him like an absolute incapable idiot.

It was normal for a shift at the supermarket to ruin Louis’ weekend and he was often miserable when he arrived home afterwards. His mother continually asked him that, if he hates it that much why doesn’t he just quit? Louis couldn’t really think of a good enough answer to that, either, so he tried to keep his moping to himself.

"That’ll be thirty-six fifty, please." Louis told his customer cheerily, although his smile did anything but reach his eyes. He knew other people didn’t care about his misfortune, and thankfully his acting skills allowed him to appear like he at least didn’t want to kill himself more and more with every passing second.

The stout man fumbled about in his pocket in search for the right amount of money and Louis lackadaisically let his eyes roam down the nearby supermarket aisles.

He was busy gazing incoherently at a young mother trying to calm down her toddler when he heard a shrill laughter only metres away that made his head snap in the direction of the incriminating noise.

It was Zayn, one of Harry’s friends - or as Louis liked to call them, sidekicks.   
He was leant coolly up against a shelf as he chuckled at Louis for no apparent reason. Louis was about to roll his eyes sassily and look away - had this boy never seen someone working in a supermarket before? - before he finally realised the raven haired boy wasn’t alone.

Niall was slouching next to him, hands crossed over his chest with a similar facial expression to Zayn. But what really caught Louis’ eye the most was the pale, curly haired boy on the other side of him, staring at the ground with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. Harry.

Louis babbled a bit at the three boys which only made Zayn laugh even more, he elbowed Harry in the ribs and mumbled something inaudible as he glanced back up and nodded in Louis’ direction.

Harry shook his head and offered a half chuckle, hoping that would be enough to shut Zayn up, but when he kept nudging him and pushing him Harry eventually looked up and linked eyes with Louis.

The lads expression was unreadable, Louis thought, it wasn’t sad or guilty but he definitely didn’t seem happy either. He wondered if he had become exceptionally bad at reading the emotions of others in the last couple of weeks or if it was just Harry that seemed to be incredible at hiding the way he was truly feeling.

When Harry glanced back at his friends, his face had contorted into something new entirely, he seemed to be almost mad and he shook his curls as he avoided Louis’ eyes and averted his gaze down to his own feet.

"Hello? Anyone in there?" A greasy hand with five sausages for fingers waved in front of Louis’ face, causing him to snap out of it and avert his attention back to the customer.

"Oh, erm sorry, I ah…" Louis searched for words and waited for a coherent sentence to form, but pointless syllables continued to pour out of his mouth embarrassingly.

Another shriek of laughter sounded from across the aisle, this time joined by another laugh in a lilting Irish accent and followed up with comments like “What a loser…” and “That faggot can’t do anything right.”

Louis felt a pang in his chest as their words made his insides hurt, he didn’t need to look back up at the boys to know they were talking about him. He felt their eyes burning holes into his flesh as he accepted the man’s crumpled money and handed him his shopping bag without saying a word.

His brow furrowed and he closed his eyes, partly to stop the burning at the back of his eyelids from overcoming him and turning into tears, and partly in hope that when he opened his eyes he would be back in his bed, and this would all have been just a dream.

Being on the receiving end of daily torment was something Louis had grown accustomed to at school, but hearing those abhorred words out in public seemed different. They made him feel like, well, a worthless piece of shit.

When Louis’ eyes no longer felt like they were going to explode and he had managed to smooth out his forehead, he opened his eyes to discover the three boys had disappeared. Where to, he didn’t care, as long as they were gone.

~*~

The inconsistent blaring awoke Louis again on Sunday and reminded him that he had - again - forgot to switch off his alarm clock the night before.

He flung an arm out from under his sheets and pulled the cord from the wall effortlessly, ceasing the irritating beeping.

"For fucks sake" he mumbled and curled back up in his duvet, willing his brain to let him fall back to sleep.

After much tossing and turning Louis sat up abruptly in his bed and threw the sheets aside, trying to get back to sleep now was impossible. The clock on his phone confirmed the fact that it was 7:24AM so he couldn’t complain, at least he had a bit of semi-rest for 24 minutes. 

Stroppily, he slumped out of bed and down stairs in nothing but a pair of pyjama pants. He was greeted with a chorus of good mornings from his mother and sisters that were surrounding the kitchen table eating their respective breakfasts.

Louis only so much as grunted at them before drinking straight from the bottle of orange juice that was already out of the fridge.

"What’s gotten into you, Mr Grumpy Pants?" Phoebe, one of the twins, giggled at him.

"Forgot to turn off my alarm" he grumbled in response, which made Daisy glance at her with a matching giggle.

"I’m taking your sisters out shopping today if you would like to join, Louis." Jay smiled at him over a cup of tea.

Louis declined, claiming that he was much too tired, however was secretly grateful that he would have the house all to himself for the whole day so he could perhaps get back to sleep and get some well needed rest.

By the time Louis had finally managed to get them all out of the door and was sure that his mother had her bag this time, it was already 10:30. With the house now empty Louis could finally do whatever he wanted, although it dawned on him that he really didn’t have much to do at all, so he slumped in front of the television and watched whatever first came on the screen.

It didn’t take long for Louis to grow increasingly bored and he was beginning to wish that he had taken the opportunity to go shopping with his sisters, when there was a knock at the door.

Confused and startled, but nevertheless thrilled at a new distraction, Louis bounced over to the door and swung it open without even checking through the peep-hole.

Louis froze as all the memories of yesterday suddenly resettled in his mind from the sight of Harry standing in his doorway, head bowed and hands stuffed in his pockets so tightly that Louis wouldn’t be surprised if he ripped holes through his trousers.

"Can I… come in?"

Louis stepped sideways and let Harry inside without speaking because saying no to Harry simply was not an option when he looked like a kicked puppy. 

Harry sat awkwardly on the edge of the settee, not yet able to make eye contact with Louis. A bit too much time passed without either of them speaking and for a moment Louis thought that he would have to be the one to speak first but before he could think of anything relevant to say, words starting flowing out of Harry’s mouth and shattered the silence that had fallen uncomfortably around them.

"I’m sorry about yesterday."

Louis shrugged. “Not your fault.”

"No, but I could have stopped them, and I didn’t."

"It doesn’t matter, forget it."

"No, Louis. It does matter. I care about you, a lot, but I’m just so stupidly worried about what other people will think that I let them hurt you and it’s not okay… It’s not. I’m so fucking sorry."

Louis fell silent, drinking in Harry’s words.

"You care about me?"

Harry linked eyes with Louis, nodding slowly.

"I really like you, Louis."

"I really like you too, Harry."

"Good." Harry’s lips pulled up in a half smirk half smile, as he closed the small space between them and pressed his lips against Louis’ gently for a few moments.

"Does this mean I can call you my boyfriend?"

Louis blushed and fluttered his eyelashes subconsciously.

"I think you can."

Both boys grinned as they leaned in and connected their lips again and felt entirely content and fulfilled at that moment, as if the sole reason they were put into this world was to be connected at the mouth to each other.

"Stay with me today, Harry?" The question was stupid, really, because it felt as if an unspoken promise that they would spend the day in each others comfort had already been set.

"Of course."

~*~

The next couple of hours seemed to fly by even though the lads weren’t doing anything all that interesting - simply sitting curled up in each others arms on Louis’ couch talking and not really watching tv.

Louis realised this was the first time he had actually talked to Harry properly, and with every confession or random fact about himself that left the curly haired lads mouth, Louis felt himself falling more and more in love with him at every syllable. 

Their time together inevitably came to an end when Louis received a text from his mother saying that they would be home shortly. It’s not like they had anything to hide from Jay, but Louis decided now really wasn’t the most suitable time to explain the relationship apparent between the two of them.

So there they were, stood at Louis front door placing wet goodbye kisses all over each others faces.

"I’m going to miss you, boo bear."   
Louis frowned at the nickname, he had regrettably told Harry the story of how it came about and that his mother now called him that whenever she wanted to annoy him, but coming from Harry’s lips it sounded anything other than annoying.

"I’ll miss you too, Hazza."

Harry paused for a moment, staring at Louis chest deep in thought as his hand absent mindedly traced patterns down his spine.

"I don’t think we can see each other at school."

Louis knew it was coming, he was respectful of the fact that Harry was the football captain and he was, well, a gay drama dork, and he knew that they wouldn’t be able to be together at school. But hearing the words aloud hurt a lot more than just thinking them, and Louis sighed deeply as he lifted a hand to cup Harry’s cheek.

"I know." his voice was barely audible and he couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact.

"I’m sorry, Boo, please don’t be angry at me. It’s just I’m not ready for this yet, well not ready for everyone to know about it anyway. But I really do care about you, Lou, I really really do, and I don’t want all the drama and bullshit from school to get in the way of our relationship and cause shit and…”

Louis held a finger up to Harry’s lips to cease his rambling. “I understand, Harry. I think it’s best we keep us a secret. For now.”

Harry closed his eyes appreciatively and rested his forehead against Louis’   
"Thank you." 

~*~

When Monday came around, Louis was awoken by the gentle buzzing of his phone coming from underneath his pillow. A glance to his bedside table informed him that it was 6:54AM, six minutes before his alarm was set to go off.

With a grumble, Louis reached under his pillow and pulled out his phone, squinting his eyes at the bright light as he read the text message blearily. 

To: Louis  
From: Harry  
Good Morning… :) x

 

Louis smiled at the single “x” and the consideration of his boyfriend as he typed out a reply.

To: Harry  
From: Louis  
You woke me up… you twat

To: Louis  
From: Harry  
Oh how inconsiderate of me, it’s not like you have to get up for school soon or anything.

To: Harry  
From: Louis  
No need to be a sarcastic prick about it

To: Louis  
From: Harry  
Dick.

To: Harry  
From: Louis  
Love you ;)

To: Louis  
From: Harry  
Love you too ;)

Louis smiled at the last text message as he slipped his phone into his pocket and climbed the stairs into the school.

"What are you so happy about?" Liam snuck up behind him and slung his arm around Louis’ shoulders.

"Nothing" he smirked, looking away from his mate in case his eyes said otherwise, which he was almost certain they were.

"Sure sure" Liam chuckled; he could always tell when his friend was lying about something. "Anyway, what’d you get up to on the weekend? I feel like it’s been ages since we’ve hung out."

"That’s because you’re always so busy with training for various sports, Mr pro-athlete." Louis joked as he punched Liam playfully on his arm, "And not much, just worked."

"Oooh sounds exciting" joked the doe-eyed boy.   
"I’ll catch you later, okay?"

The lads parted and made their way to their own lockers on different sides of the main hall. Louis didn’t have many classes with Liam, so it was a wonder that they were able to maintain a friendship, really.

Monday mornings meant double English and double English meant two hours of Harry. Louis’ chest tightened as he felt nervous, excited and worried all at the same time for no apparent reason. They were at school, and that meant no stolen glances, no smiles, and definitely no signs of affection. They had to pretend they still hated each other, and make it believable. 

Before he knew it, Louis was seated in the class with Harry only rows behind him as his teacher tiresomely called attendance. His heart was beating fast and his breath was uneven. Louis prayed that no one would ask him a question because he knew that the sound that would come out of his mouth would be far from even.

"Now class, today we are going to be working in pairs doing an activity on the computer." The teachers voice was as monotone as always and it made it hard to even pay attention to what he was saying. "Read the excerpt from To Kill a Mockingbird that has been emailed to all of you and analyse the significance of the rabid dog. Write down some dot points and then print them off, you will be presenting your opinions to the class."

After many reluctant murmurs the students began to shuffle and form pairs between themselves, before they were interrupted.

"Quiet down, quiet down." shouted the teacher with a frown. "Considering what happened last time you chose your own pairs," he paused and shot a knowing glance at Harry and Zayn who high-fived each other, "you will be selecting names from a hat, and that is who you will be working with."

He ignored the displeased sounds that echoed through the classroom and walked up to the front row, holding the hat out to Louis first.

"Please select your partner, Mr Tomlinson."

Louis’ already ridiculously fast heart beat sped up impossibly faster. What would the chances be? Out of the 32 people in his English class, what was the possibility that he would get that one person? It was ridiculous, unthinkable, impossible.

Harry Styles.

Shit.

Louis swallowed. Hard.

"Mr Tomlinson? Your partner please?"

"Harry…" his voice was inaudible.

"Excuse me Louis?"

"Harry… Harry Styles."

A chorus of ooh’s sounded through the room as the students shuffled to glance back and forth between the two boys. Of course, their teacher thought nothing of it and moved on to select a partner for the rest of the class.

Louis closed his eyes and breathed a few times before turning around to glance at Harry himself. Much to his delight, Harry wasn’t sitting there with a devious smirk on his face, but instead was smiling sweetly at Louis, his eyes sparkling.

Perhaps this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

~*~

"This is boring." Harry whispered to Louis from where he was seated next to him at the computer.

"I know." Louis replied, being extra careful that no one around was listening. They were already at the receiving end of numerous curious glances as to why Harry was not giving Louis any shit, especially after the escapade on Friday during P.E.

Louis’ phone buzzed in his pocket.

From: Harry  
To: Louis  
Lets have some fun? ;) 

Louis looked up at the curly haired boy, but before he even had time to react, he was being pulled out of the room by his arm while Harry yelled out behind them “We’re going to get our printing from next door, sir.”

Harry pulled him down the hallway in a daze and Louis could only stumble behind him, his eyes wide and mouth gaping open in shock.

It wasn’t until Harry slowed his pace to a walk that Louis remembered that he, in fact, was not mute and was able to speak coherently and managed to mumble an out-of-breath “What the hell are you doing?”

"Curing our boredom." Harry released his grip on Louis’ arm and turned to face him, a glint of mischief in his eye, and before Louis knew it he was being pressed up against the lockers behind him by the weight of another body while hot kisses were placed all over his mouth.

It took a moment for Louis’ lips to kick in and eventually start to reciprocate the kiss, desperately clawing at Harry’s curls as he pulled away from his mouth to suck at his neck.

"We could get caught…" Louis mumbled through moans.

"That makes it even more fun." Harry winked at him as he ground his hips forward into Louis’ erection that he wasn’t aware he had developed.

Louis bit his lip, this was so risky, but with Harry’s lips, so soft, attached to his neck, and a hungry look in his glimmering green orbs, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Not before long Harry’s hand was disappearing down the front of Louis’ trousers and pumping his length furiously, then Harry was sinking to his knees and looking up at him with those stupid fucking eyes and those perfect rose bud lips pursed into a smirk ready to take his cock.

Harry gripped the base of Louis’ length and twisted his wrist as he moved up and down slowly, he swirled his tongue around the head of his cock and flicked that spot on the underside where the head met the shaft with the tip of his tongue.

With his other hand, Harry cupped Louis balls gently and licked the flat of his tongue up the entirety of his shaft - right from that little crease where his balls met his cock to the hole at the tip. Louis eyes rolled back in his head and he tangled his fingers in Harry’s curls that just were so fucking soft.

"Harry… please" Louis mumbled, desperately craving more warmth around him.

Obliging, Harry covered his teeth with his lips and took Louis’ entire length inside his mouth at once, making him cry out at the sensation of the sudden depth. He let the saliva pool in his mouth as he took Louis deep inside his throat, moving back and forth slowly.

"Oh my god… Harry." Louis breathed as he bit his lip, his feathered fringe stuck to his forehead slightly by beads of sweat.

"Mmm?" The vibrations from Harry’s vocal chords sent ripples of pleasure up his spine causing him to cry out in pleasure and buck his hips forward into Harry’s mouth uncontrollably.

Harry took the hint and started picking up the pace, moving expertly.

For a moment Louis thought he heard someone moving down the hallway but before he had much time to take it into consideration stars were bursting behind his eyelids as he bubbled over the edge and squirted his hot liquid into the back of his boyfriends throat.

Harry swallowed willingly and slowly milked Louis’ length as he rode out his orgasm, finally releasing his tight grip on his curls.

"That was… fucking amazing." Louis was out of breath as Harry stood up and buckled up his trousers for him, looking pretty damn pleased with himself. "I know." He smirked.

"Do you want me to… I mean, I could… erm." 

Harry chuckled. “Not now, Louis, it’s okay I don’t expect that from you.” And he was being honest.

"Okay" Louis replied, only because he wasn’t willing to get caught sucking off the school’s football captain. "But soon. I promise."

Harry pecked his boyfriend gently on the lips, holding his chin. “You’re amazing.”

~*~

When Harry and Louis entered the class room again, every single pair of eyes turned their way expectantly.

Both of the boys froze, unsure of what to do next. Had they been caught? Surely not, they would have noticed. 

"So are you two boyfriends now or what?" A voice eventually called from the back of the room, no one was quite sure who it had come from.

"Fuck off." Harry growled back, making his way over to his seat.

Louis followed sheepishly, trying his best to cover the slowly developing love bite on his neck. 

"Fucking gays" the same voice chuckled from the back of the room, and a surrounding group of girls giggled at the remark, pointing glances at the pair.

"Alright that’s enough, thank you." The teacher finally interrupted.

Louis attempted to send an apologetic glance in his boyfriends direction, but when he looked up he was greeted by the sight of the back of Harry’s head, slumped as far away from Louis as possible.

His eyes stung as he knotted his eyebrows together and a lump formed unwillingly in his throat.

~*~

Harry didn’t talk to Louis for the rest of the lesson, not even so much as look at him. Eventually the day progressed, and Louis didn’t hear a single word from Harry. He was upset when he didn’t say goodbye to him in the afternoon, a little concerned when he didn’t receive a good night text before drifting off to sleep, worried when he didn’t make any effort to find Louis on Tuesday morning. But by the time Tuesday night came around, and Louis still hadn’t heard a single word or received a single glance from his boyfriend, he had developed a sickeningly apprehensive feeling in his stomach that made him want to throw up.

~*~

Time passed almost too slowly, making the two days of no contact from Harry seem like eternity and a day. When Wednesday finally came around and Louis still hadn’t heard from Harry, he knew something was wrong.

But what? He hadn’t really done anything to make Harry distance himself from him this much, so what was it? Surely he wasn’t mad about those few little gay rumours - that of course were true, but nobody else knew that, did they?

Of course not. There was no chance.

Louis silently prayed that he hadn’t driven Harry away as he desperately searched his brain for something stupid he could have carelessly done or said to make Harry avoid him for so long.

Today was their first English class since the, shall we call it, “incident”, and as far as the eye could see, nothing had changed. Louis still sat on the end in the front row of the classroom, and Harry was fashionably late, as always, despite his friends already being seated in the back of the room.

Harry didn’t even knock before swinging the classroom door open and waltzing in and making his way to the back corner where he usually sat with his loud group of friends. The teacher so much glanced at him before continuing to write melancholically on the board - he was used to the late arrivals of the curly haired boy to his lessons and decided that making an attempt to change that now was pointless.

As he got to the middle of the room, his brow furrowed and he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Oi, Ed, get out of my seat.” He nodded his head begrudgingly. 

Every single pair of eyes turned to face the back corner of the room, including Louis’.

Ed smirked and crossed his own arms cheekily.

“I thought you might like to sit next to your boyfriend today, considering how close you two were last lesson.” He raised his eyebrows at him accusingly and pointed towards Louis.

“Fuck off, Ed, just move.” Harry nodded his head in the opposite direction.

Louis wondered for a moment why Ed seemed so convinced that he and Harry were in a relationship. If he had caught them in the hallway on Monday, then why didn’t he call out to them? Why didn’t he tell anyone else?   
Of course there was also the possibility that Ed just felt like giving him shit for no apparent reason, and teasing him about being gay when he was so clearly homophobic - in the eyes of everyone else, anyway - seemed to be like a topic that would irritate him enough.

Ed laughed mockingly, “Well you’re not denying it?”

Everyone, including Louis, looked at Harry expectantly. Waiting for his answer.

“He’s not… not my boyfriend.” Harry’s hands dived deep into his blazer pockets.

Louis’ eyes burnt and he bit his lip with his top teeth. He knew Harry couldn’t admit it right now - if it was even still existent after the few days of no contact - but just hearing those words come from Harry’s mouth so effortlessly hurt so much. 

“Whatever,” Ed chuckled, definitely not convinced “fucking homo, sit somewhere else.” 

Before Harry even had a chance to think of something else to respond with, the teacher finally decided to step in and break them up. “Okay boys that’s enough, Harry find a seat elsewhere today will you.”

Harry glared at the teacher with fire in his eyes, before turning around to find a seat, neglecting the one next to Louis, and falling angrily into a seat against the wall a few rows back.

Louis turned away to face the front of the classroom, tears in his eyes and his face red hot with a mixture of rage and distress. His breathing was uneven and he screwed his eyes shut in an attempt to stop the tears from welling up and dripping down his cheeks.

~*~

Louis didn’t pay attention to anything that happened for the duration of that English class. Even if he wanted to, it would have been impossible with all the thoughts relating to Harry swirling through his mind.

Did he mean what he said?  
Where does this leave us now?  
Is he still my boyfriend?  
Why the hell do I even like him so much?

With each new thought came a new tear threatening to fall and a new reason for Louis to bury his face in his hands and hide further and further away from the students seated all around him, closing in with every passing second and judging his every breath.

Eventually the bell for lunch rang, and in a storm of students, Louis was in the hallway making his way to his locker in the same feeling-sorry-for-himself mood that he had been in for the entirety of his last class.

“Hey, Tomlinson.” Louis froze in his tracks

“There’s something we need to talk about.”

The voice was deep and gravelly and laced with torment and mischief, but not the good kind. It made the hairs on the back of Louis’ neck stand up and he didn’t even have to turn around to know that it was Harry calling out to him.

But he did, and sure enough, there was Harry, hands in pockets and a jeering smirk on his face.

The loud comment he made had caused the majority of students in the hallway to turn and face the two boys, curiously wondering what was going to happen.

Harry took a few slow steps in his direction until he had him expertly cornered into the lockers.

“It appears that you must have been spreading some rumours about me just lately.” He raised a finger to his chin in mock thought.

“Because last time I checked,” he raised his eyebrows at him, “you were the only gay one here.”

“Leave me alone, Harry, I haven’t said anything about you.” Louis tried to steady his breath and sound intimidating, but apparently failed as his voice cracked on the last word.

Harry chuckled in response. “That’s not what I’ve heard, Tomlinson. You better not be lying to me.” He pressed his index finger sharply to Louis’ chest and pushed him effortlessly into the hard lockers behind him.

Harry was scary now, he longer though of him as his boyfriend. He was no longer the Harry that laughed at his dumb jokes and called him Boo Bear and stroked his chin when he kissed him, no, now he was back the the old Harry. The one that beat him up and gave him shit every day for liking boys.

“I’m not lying, I haven’t said shit about you.” Louis swallowed.

“Aw come on, don’t be like that.” Harry’s mouth twisted into a wicked smirk “I thought you loved me? Because, you know, I love you.” He winked at him.

Louis blinked in bewilderment. Harry had just said that he loved him in front of a whole swarm of people. But his tone was tormenting and Louis didn’t like it because he knew he didn’t mean it the way he should.

“Will you just… just fuck off okay.” Louis glared deep into those green eyes, searching desperately for any flicker of regret or sorrow hidden amongst the rage and torment that darkened his glistening orbs considerably. 

Louis instantly regretted his last words when he felt a fist connect sharply with his jaw, sending his head flying back to collide with the hard metal with a loud crash.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Tomlinson.” He threw another punch to his face, landing his knuckles at his cheekbone this time, followed by one more and a knee to his stomach for good measure, sending the boy falling to the ground in pain.

Louis cried out incoherent syllables, not even attempting to hide his tears now, it had become much too hard.

In his sad heap on the floor, Louis was almost certain that any feelings Harry had developed for him in the last few weeks had been destroyed, almost certain that Harry didn’t have any regret for his last actions, and almost certain that he could no longer hold him and kiss him and call him his boyfriend. Almost. But then he looked up at Harry from his tear filled eyes and didn’t see what he expected to.

What he had expected was to see Harry laughing at him arrogantly, or getting ready to spit on him before walking off calling out something like “that’s what you deserve, gayboy” or “fucking faggot”.

But that’s not what Harry was doing, not even close. 

When Louis looked up at him, Harry seemed to be frozen on the spot. He was looking down at Louis with his eyebrows knotted together in worry and his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. His eyes were shining, but surely that wasn’t from tears threatening to fall, surely not.

If Harry intended to say or do anything next, it was interrupted by the cheers and laughs coming from the mouths of the spectators.

Niall and Zayn made their way over to Harry and clapped him on the back as if they were congratulating him for some unknown accomplishment.

“C’mon Harry lets go.” Niall slurred at him before throwing his arm around the curly haired lads shoulder - which made Harry visibly flinch - and directing him in the opposite direction of where Louis lay in a sad heap on the floor.

Startled and stumbling, Harry allowed himself to be pushed away by his friends, it wasn’t until he received an approving nod from a smirking Ed that he turned around to look at Louis once more.

But Louis didn’t respond to his gesture with a knowing and forgiving smile, no. He shook his head, disgusted, before miming “fuck you” and getting up off the floor to walk away in the opposite direction.

Harry closed his eyes and dipped his head to face the floor, hoping that no one would notice his regretful expression as his eyes started to well up with tears.

What the fuck had he just done?

~*~

Louis locked himself in a bathroom stall and flung himself toward the ceramic bowl, emptying the contents of his stomach in a few violent hurls.

Whether he was vomiting from the harsh knee he received to his stomach or from the utter disgust of the behaviour of his boyfriend, he wasn’t sure.

Boyfriend? Could he still call him his boyfriend?  
He wasn’t sure if he wanted to.

So what was that then, Harry? Louis thought to himself, did you just beat up your boyfriend as an attempt to prove that he’s not your boyfriend and you are as straight as they come? Nice going.

Louis’ stomach heaved again as both the muck from his insides and his tears fell into the water of the toilet. 

His shoulders shook and a chain of broken sobs left his mouth as he patted at his cheeks.

“Fuck you, Harry Styles.”

Louis’ whisper echoed off the walls of the empty bathroom, silently confirming to him that everything was over. The relationship between him and Harry was no more.


	6. Chapter 6

"Louis, sweetheart, there’s someone here to see you." Jay tapped softly at her sons door and swung it open slowly. The sight of him face down and unmoving on his bed made her nose crinkle up in a mixture of empathy and frustration. 

He had arrived home earlier with a tear stained face, sporting a bruised cheek and cut lip. Upon trying to get to the bottom of the situation, Louis’ mother had simply made him even more worked up, and he had screamed at her to “just stay out of my business for once in your life!” and stormed to his room. Hoping that he would come around eventually, she left him alone to wallow in his misery for a while and see if he could sort things out for himself if it was really that important. Jay hadn’t heard a peep from her son since he locked himself in his room two and a half hours earlier.

"Tell whoever it is to piss off." Louis mumbled into his pillow. He had no idea who could possibly want to talk to him right now and if he were honest, he didn’t really care to find out.

Jay shuffled awkwardly in the doorway. “I said now wasn’t a very good time, but they’re insisting to see you, apparently it’s very important.”

When Louis didn’t answer she just sighed. “Come on, Lou, just for a minute? It does seem pretty urgent.”

"Alright fine!" Louis snapped, flinging himself angrily from the comfort of his bed as he stormed past his mother and out of his room.

He threw the front door open with sass and growled out “What?” before he even checked to see who his incriminating visitor was.

However, as soon as the door opened to reveal that oh-so-familiar mop of chocolate brown curls that sat on top of a tall, lanky figure, Louis froze in his tracks and sucked in a deep, sharp breath.

Harry? No… Harry.

Louis’ mood changed rapidly from surprised and delighted to disgusted, appalled, repulsed, any word that Louis could think of to describe how much he wanted to spit in Harry’s face and tell him to piss off right at that moment.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Louis hissed as he glared at the vulnerable looking boy in front of him.

Harry squeezed his eyes shut as he drew his bottom lip in between his teeth. He shook his head slightly from side to side as he let out a shaky breath.

"Louis I…" his voice was broken and strained and even if he had planned on finishing his sentence after his voice had broken and cut out from nerves, it was brought to a premature end by the sound of Louis’ scoff.

"Forget it, Harry, I’m not interested." And with that, he slammed the front door in the pleading boys face, not bothering to listen to his sudden cries of   
"Louis, please! I really -"

Louis turned his back to the door and paused for a moment. It didn’t take long for his brain to catch up as he finally realised what had just happened, and his emotions absolutely overwhelmed him, causing him to slump back against the door and fall to the floor, only to bury his face against his knees and wrap his arms over his head.

The chorus of broken sobs that left Louis’ mouth made his shoulders shake violently as he buried his hands tightly in his hair.

The realisation that Harry was no longer his seemed to be the only thing sticking in his mind, and ironically the only thing he wanted to push away and forget more than anything at the same time.

Harry was gone, forever, he had pushed him away.

But it was for the better, right? Louis deserves better than this. It’s just not healthy for him to be involved with someone like Harry. Someone that says he loves him and cares about him so, so much, only to deny any trace of feelings for him once in the eye of the public, he just can’t be expected to live like that. 

He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but it was best for both of them if Louis just forgot about any connections he had ever had with Harry Styles.

They would both move on and never speak to each other again, never curl up in each others arms and just forget the world, and definitely never sneak in a quick peck on the lips between classes ever again. Surely it couldn’t be that hard, right?

It’s going to be the very definition of difficult. 

~*~

Louis’ phone buzzed and rang like crazy for the remainder of the night. He stopped counting after 27 calls and 52 text messages… and that was several hours ago.

It was a routine Louis had grown accustomed to; his phone would ring, he would check who it was from - despite the fact that he already knew the name that would flash up on the screen - read the message several times over, drinking in the meaning behind the words, before deleting it and pretending he never saw it, pretending that it didn’t kill him inside to not respond to each text and pour out his heart and feelings to the boy he loves and apologise and tell him he loves him and that everything is going to be okay.

But he could never. 

Louis has to stand his ground. Forget Harry, you don’t need him.

Yes I do.

Louis’ phone began vibrating again on his bedside table, indicating another incoming call. The red digits of his alarm clock blinked 12:03 AM and he groaned inwardly as he buried his face into his pillow. 

"Can’t you take a hint, Harry." He whispered aloud into the dark. Although he would never admit it, there was a part of him deep, deep down that was somewhat pleased that Harry was continually texting and calling him. Pleased that he cared about him and wanted him back so much that he wouldn’t let up until he had explained himself to Louis.

The vibrating stopped and Louis reached across to his phone and dialled voicemail. 

"Louis… It’s Harry, although you probably know that already, hey?"

Harry’s voice was broken and dry and it made Louis’ heart sink to hear him in such a distressed state, knowing that he was the cause for his poor well-being. 

"I know what I did was wrong and horrible and immoral but please Lou, I just need to talk to you. I just can’t seem to… Just please, call me, please, Louis… please. G-goodbye." 

Louis sighed deeply as he placed his phone back on his bedside table.

A single tear escaping down his cheek suddenly turned into a stream of tears staining his face as sobs racked his body and made his bed shake under his body.

The helpless boy muffled his cried “Harry…” with his bed sheets that he had pulled so tightly up around his small body as a form of comfort and he struggled to remember just when exactly he had grown so attached to his schools football captain, and when he had become such an important aspect to his life. When he woke up the next morning with tight, tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes, he knew that forgetting Harry Styles was not going to be as easy as he had hoped.

~*~

When Louis arrived at school on Thursday, he was certain that it was going to mark what had the potential to be quite possibly the worst day he had experienced in a long time.

Losing the one person he cared about the most at the moment had practically destroyed any form of motivation he had towards school work, which is the primary reason that he spent the majority of the day staring out the window feeling sorry for himself.

He didn’t see that curly-haired boy for the whole morning, so when the bell rang signalling the last lesson of the day (physical education for both him and Harry) Louis suddenly realised that he would have to come face-to-face with the one boy who had hung in his thoughts for the whole day, for the first time since last night. That horrible night.

A mixture of feelings swirled through Louis’ body and made him feel slightly nauseous; he couldn’t decide if he was hesitant or excited to see Harry. Part of him wanted to avoid him as much as humanly possible, hoping that the longer it took for them to make eye contact the longer he had to convince himself that he didn’t need Harry. But a bigger part of him was utterly craving to simply take in the sight of his lean, long limbs covered in that smooth, pale skin.

Louis’ mind wandered back to the previous Thursday and the very incriminating acts that had taken place in a particular shower cubicle. He couldn’t help but let a small smile creep across his face at the thought of other boys showering in there with no idea whatsoever about what had taken place in that very spot.

That small, yet definitely present smile was quick to disappear when he entered the change rooms and the first thing his eyes landed on was none other than the half naked body of Harry Styles.

There was something different about the boy. His figure seemed small and fragile and he stood in a way that made his usually broad and proud shoulders hunch forward and seem small as his head drooped down. Louis’ heart shattered into a million tiny pieces all over the floor, he knew instantly that Harry’s poor state and vulnerable, insecure posture was entirely his fault.

He drew in a sharp breath when Harry instantly turned and made eye contact with him, as if sensing his presence in the room. His usually bright, sparkling green orbs were dark and bloodshot. Large black bags framed his eyes tauntingly, serving as a constant inescapable reminder of his lack of sleep the previous night that was probably instead filled with oceans of tears and broken choruses of sobs.

Harry swallowed before looking away quickly and breaking eye contact, trying so carefully to not show any of his emotion to Louis.

As Louis made his way over to his locker in the change rooms, he forced himself to swallow to cease any existence of a sob that was definitely not threatening to escape. He changed into his gym clothes slowly and solemnly with only one thing on his mind: Harry.

~*~

Harry wasn’t his usual cheeky self for the whole of their P.E. class. Louis hated himself for making Harry act so noticeably different and he couldn’t help but wonder if he had been like that in the rest of his lessons that day as well, or if his depressive aura had only formed when Louis was around him.

"C’mon Harry, you’ve been acting like you want to kill yourself for the whole day now. Cheer up, will you!" Niall’s Irish accent sang out as he clapped Harry on the back, confirming the answer to Louis’ thoughts. 

Niall joked and bantered with Harry for the whole lesson, trying to cheer him up. But when the solemn boy’s only response was a half-hearted chuckle and an incredibly unconvincing “I’m okay, really.” The blonde-haired boy eventually got the message and left Harry alone to wallow in his misery.

Their soccer game was filled with stolen glances from boy to boy, blue eyes accidentally meeting green as they both tried so desperately to figure out if the other was feeling the same way.

Louis’ heart sank when he once shot Harry a meek, closed-lipped smile and received nothing in response but the tightening of the pale skin on Harry’s forehead as he furrowed his eyebrows and looked away as fast as he could, swallowing suspiciously. That was it. He couldn’t take it any more.

Fuck this.  
Fuck standing my ground and fuck forgetting Harry.  
Who am I kidding, I need to get him back, I need to talk to him.

When the bell that prompted the end of the day finally rang, Louis didn’t even hesitate before running to his locker in the change rooms and scribbling a quick note that he proceeded to cram into the air vents of Harry’s own locker.

Harry,

Behind the gym after school.

Louis x

He kept it short and sweet, getting to the point without hesitating or giving too much away, providing a single “x” at the end that he hoped would convey a little bit of how he was feeling without being too obvious. Louis prayed that his note would be enough to convince Harry to meet him that afternoon. If he were honest, he wasn’t entirely sure what he was going to say once face-to-face with that horrendously gorgeous curly-haired lad, he just knew that there was absolutely no way he could go on like this without him in his life for much longer.

~*~

Louis paced up and down the small area behind the school’s gym. The day had only just finished so technically Harry wasn’t late, and Louis knew that he was probably still showering after gym class, but every second that passed only increased Louis’ thoughts that Harry wasn’t coming, that Harry didn’t care about him anymore. He couldn’t keep still.

Huffing out a breath and kicking at the floor, Louis slumped against the brick wall and dug his fists tightly into his hair - a habit that he had been doing a little too much for the last couple of days - trying to calm himself down.

His whirring thoughts distracted Louis of the gentle scuffing of feet as they rounded the corner to where he stood. It wasn’t until he spoke that Louis noticed the presence of another person with him - making him jump.

"Hey." The sound that left his visitors lips broke the silence of the moment, but also the silence of the day that had passed in which Louis had refused to speak to him. His velvety voice sang out and caressed Louis’ eardrums as if it were the most beautiful sound he had ever heard - he had missed hearing that voice so much - and suddenly his voice was rippling through him and filling every fibre of his being with nothing else than simply Harry.

"Harry." Louis seemed startled and he picked himself up off the wall to stand directly in front of his new company. "I didn’t think you would come."

When Louis didn’t receive an answer, his already spinning head spun impossibly faster with thoughts of doubt and self-discrimination.

He hates me.  
I’ve ruined everything.  
Harry isn’t mine any more.

Louis felt a single tear roll down his cheek and suddenly he knew that keeping his cheeks dry today was not going to be as easy as he originally planned.

He had to say something, anything, to break this dreadful cone of silence that had enveloped the two of them. He just had to let Harry know how he was feeling, even if he didn’t accept it he just needed him to know. He had to get this off his chest before it ate away his mind completely and drove him absolutely crazy.

"Harry I just -"

"No, Louis." 

Louis looked up, startled by the sudden sternness of his voice, as his eyes locked with Harry’s own that were now burning deep into his soul.

"Don’t even think about apologising to me when you and I both know that you have done absolutely nothing wrong."

Louis’ mouth hung open ever so slightly in disbelief as he filled his lungs with a desperately needed breath.

"I’m the one that should be apologising here, Louis, and I could. I could tell you how words can honestly not even come close to describing how sorry I am for what I did. I could tell you that I wish you would beat me up for once. I wish you would show me what it’s like, put me back in my place. I could tell you that I know I had no right to do that to you - no fucking right - how I’m such an idiot.”

Harry shook his head before throwing it backwards, and he laughed hysterically into the sky and Louis was almost certain that the slightly younger boy had gone absolutely mental for a moment.

"But you know what?" He snapped his head back down to raise his eyebrows at Louis.

"I’m not going to tell you any of that. Because I know… I know that it won’t make everything okay again. And I know that I can’t promise that I won’t do it again, no matter how much I want to."

Harry shook his head, staring up at the sky.

"I wish I could make that dedication for you, Louis, I really do. But sometimes, when I get mad, I don’t even know what I’m doing, and I just get so caught up in myself and I…" he let his voice trail off.

"I am just so fucking sorry, Louis, and if for some unfathomable reason you can find it in your heart to forgive me, to give me a second chance that I definitely do not deserve in the slightest but hope so desperately that you will give, then I will more than happily try my absolute hardest to make you happy."

And with that, Louis was absolutely undone. He flung himself at the whimpering boy and pressed their lips together frantically, losing his hands amongst the forest of Harry’s curls, as he snaked his hands around Louis’ entire body. They kissed as desperately as if they were being reunited to the love of their life after years of separation, so powerful and strong that Louis was almost certain the sky above their connected heads would have been lighting up with fireworks and rainbows and everything else magnificent. 

"I am so, so sorry." Harry choked out again, resting his forehead against his boyfriends.

And so Louis apologised too through a string of kisses, even though he wasn’t entirely sure if he had even done anything worth apologising for, he just knew that he never wanted to have a reason to be so distanced from Harry ever again.

"You’re crazy, Lou, I don’t deserve you." Harry breathed out, voice broken and laced with disbelief.

"But I want you, Harry, I need you." He let out a gentle groan as Harry kissed the expanse of skin covering his neck.

"I need you too, I can’t live without you." The whispered response was enough to make Louis shiver, and the situation that was already beginning to edge on sexual quickly heated and turned into full-blown desire and Louis suddenly felt the burning need to be closer to Harry than physically possible.

As if on queue, Harry was suddenly pressing Louis against the wall desperately harder and apparently his desire was reciprocated.

Louis lolled his head back against the wall as his hips were grounded into by Harry’s, their growing bulges pressing against each other and creating sweet friction that made his eyes squeeze shut tightly as Harry sucked at the soft skin just under Louis’ jaw, marking it with a small purple bruise.

"Now, Harry… I need you now.” Louis murmured into his boyfriends hair, breathing in the sweet scent.

"Not here." Harry mumbled and suddenly he was pulling away completely, leaving Louis hot and flustered and desperate to resume the previous contact.

He blinked at Louis nervously. “It’s not very romantic of me to tell you how sorry I am for hurting you, then fucking you against a brick wall behind the school’s gym.”

Louis chuckled slightly and bit his lip to try and calm himself down, this isn’t happening now, Louis, cool it down a bit.

"You know, I have a free house this afternoon." Louis’ voice was teasing and giddy, as soon as he spoke the words Harry’s eyes lit up with mischief and before he knew what was happening, he was being grabbed by the hand and pulled toward the direction he knew his house was in, almost forgetting to grab his bag in the haste.

~*~

Louis fumbled clumsily at the lock on his front door as fast as he could with a very hot very horny Harry attached to his behind, grinding himself into his plump buttocks and kissing down his neck teasingly, his hot breath tickling his collar bones and sending shivers all the way down his spine.

Finally, Louis threw the door open and both boys fell inside and slammed against the back of the front door. They kissed quickly and desperately, sharing breaths as they both were, for some unfathomable reason, so out of breath.

Harry pushed up gently on the backs of Louis’ thighs and promptly he was wrapping his legs around his lean waist and being carried up the stairs in the direction of his bedroom, their lips still locked together and moving hungrily, their tongues wrestling each other between their lips.

The pair exploded into Louis’ room in a hot and sweaty heap, their clothes soon being discarded and making a pile on the floor.

The fast pace of the moment suddenly halted and Harry was walking forwards toward Louis slowly and laying him down gently on his bed, gazing deeply into the bright blue oceans in his eyes that were blown wide with lust - or was it something stronger than that?

Harry moved one hand up to palm his boyfriends cheek, his other hand next to his head supporting his weight as he straddled Louis’ torso.

Louis grabbed the back of Harry’s neck and pulled him down to connect their lips once more, his fingertips brushing against the soft curls at his hairline.

They kissed deep and slow, savouring the tenderness of the moment before it accelerated into the mind-blowing, well-needed sex that they both knew was coming.

Harry’s hand wrapped around Louis’ already exposed and impossibly hard length. His fingers were so long and his palms so large that it covered more than half of Louis as he pumped up and down a few times.

Louis reached blindly over to his bedside table and retrieved a small bottle of lube from the top draw. He passed it to Harry and bit down on his bottom lip as he watched him drip the liquid onto his fingers teasingly.

When they were glistening and coated with the glossy liquid, he traced a finger in circles slowly around the other boys entrance. Louis moaned and arched his back in desperate craving for the glorious feel of Harry moving inside him and he threw his forearm over his eyes as an attempt to avoid the gorgeousness of Harry beneath him.

He cried out his name as Harry pushed one finger inside him so gently yet so deeply and perfectly angled that he hit that sweet bundle of nerves right on the first go.

Soon after, Harry was pushing another finger inside and spreading apart his tight opening by scissoring and moving carefully. Louis rolled his hips back onto Harry’s long, slender fingers and let out a shaky breath of absolute bliss.

"Now, Harry, I’m ready… Please…"

The empty feeling that overcame Louis when Harry removed his fingers was soon to be abolished as he once again felt the fulfilment of the sweet scented boy pushing his own length deep inside his warm body.

"Oh…" Louis breathed out as he clutched at Harry’s shoulders, feeling the muscles in his back ripple as he began to slide in and out of him slowly, carefully, lovingly.

He felt Harry’s hand on his chin and he opened his eyes that he didn’t quite remember ever scrunching closed. Harry smiled at him from under his curls that had fallen over his face, but it was the sort of smile that means so much more than one could ever put into words.

Harry smiled because he couldn’t believe what had happened to him, that he had Louis back in his arms once again. That he could kiss him and hold him and call him his again, even though he knew he was completely and entirely unworthy. He must be the luckiest boy in the world because surely… surely no one else has the pleasure and privilege of having someone as amazing and perfect as Louis in their lives.

He stooped down and plumped out his lips, kissing his boyfriend once as he pushed once more so deep inside Louis’ warm passage, making him moan into his mouth as he came over the edge and rode out his orgasm with Harry still thrusting inside of him, only to follow soon after.

With Harry’s sweet release came the overwhelming feeling of absolute bliss, he tried desperately to recall the last time he had been this happy, this content, he racked his brain so determinedly, but he couldn’t seem to remember no matter how hard he tried.

Louis just had that affect on him, he made him feel like the luckiest, most powerful person on the planet, and he couldn’t seem to find the words to fathom just exactly how he felt so he settled for kissing his boyfriend passionately on the lips and hoped that it would suffice as a substitute for the words that he couldn’t seem to form.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been almost two weeks and for once, Louis and Harry had gone without any major dramas in their relationship. It almost seemed too good to be true that Harry was actually his, that he cared about Louis so much and genuinely liked him for him. It was so impossibly fantastic.

It had come to the point where Harry could make him smile with nothing but a simple text message, Louis would wake up to a good morning message from the aforementioned lad on his mobile phone and instantly his day suddenly became so much brighter and more inviting. Even the mere thought of that boy would immediately lighten his mood, let alone actually seeing him. Touching and kissing him is a whole other story altogether. 

Louis couldn’t recall the last time he had felt so comfortable and so happy around someone who wasn’t a family member. It had come to the stage in his life where he couldn’t even imagine living without Harry any more and he struggled to remember what he did with his life before Harry Styles was introduced into it. A day without at least seeing him seemed impossible and the realisation that he depended so much on the comfort of the slightly younger boy scared him to bits.

But he simply couldn’t turn away, not now, he was in too deep. Did he love Harry Styles? 

That was a question Louis simply couldn’t answer on his own, not when his mind was rampant with thoughts about the sentence Harry had just blurted out coolly but all too embarrassed and nervously.

“My parents are going away this weekend.”

Louis’ feet momentarily stopped scuffing on the footpath and he turned to face Harry. A whim of confidence suddenly overwhelmed him and made him smirk a little to himself as he replied.

“And you’re inviting me over so we can fuck all weekend?” He raised his eyebrows cheekily.

“What!? No!” Harry was visibly startled and he ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at his curls. “I.. Well I mean if you wanted to… I just thought that because no one will be home we could… Just spend some time together, you know… I definitely didn’t -“

“I’d love to, Harry.” Louis winked at him and continued walking down the street, leaving a shocked yet incredibly smug Harry standing in the same spot he had left him.

This was going to be a fun weekend.

~*~

It didn’t take much on Louis’ part to convince his mum to allow him to stay at Harry’s the whole weekend. She trusted him enough, but Louis speculated that she was just happy that he was finally interacting with other human beings that weren’t Liam or his sisters. Yet on the other hand the fact that Jay thought Harry’s parents were going to be there probably played an important part as to why he was allowed to go. Oh well, what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her, right?

All day at school on Friday Louis’ mind was anywhere but in the classroom, he simply couldn’t wait for the upcoming night and rest of the weekend. He felt like a little kid getting excited over a sleepover with his friends. But who could blame him? With Harry’s parents out of town they could literally get up to anything they wanted.

As Louis rounded the corner to the park at the end of his street, Harry was already there waiting for him. They had decided to meet a considerable distance away from school to ensure that none of the other students saw them together. In a way Louis longed for acknowledgement of their relationship. He was proud of the feelings they had for each other and wished that other people could see it too. He wished that he could walk out of school, hand in hand with Harry without receiving odd looks and whispered remarks. 

But that was impossible. So they had to settle for this secrecy. 

Harry looked up the moment Louis turned the corner and his face brightened instantly. He rose from where he had been seated on one of the swings and strode over to his boyfriend, greeting him with a kiss as he tangled their fingers together.

“Hi love” Harry grinned at him.

It was the simplicity in things like this that Louis loved most about their relationship. Amongst all the hiding and secrecy between them it was nice to have a moment where they could just be together like a real couple without any worrying that they could get caught out and ultimately ruin everything between them. Louis didn’t even want to imagine the remarks that would be made about the two of them if anyone else discovered their true feelings toward each other.

They walked the route to Harry’s house hand in hand, deep in conversation. What exactly they were talking about Louis couldn’t quite recall, but that didn’t matter, all that mattered was that velvety sound of Harry’s voice rippling through his body and the way his had clung tightly to his own that was the cause for the slight upward tugging at the corners of his lips.

The gentle shuffling of Harry’s feet on the concrete path slowed as he came to a stop and Louis suddenly blinked rapidly to pull himself out of his Harry-induced daze and began to take notice of his surroundings once more.

They were in a part of town that Louis had driven through countless times before, yet never really taken too much notice of, he knew that. But he had never ventured down this particular street before. The caramel haired boy glanced around and noticed that the surrounding houses were all much larger and grander than the ones in the rest of the estate, most of them sporting high fences and neatly trimmed hedges with fountains or other statues in the front garden.

“This is it” Harry almost mumbled, and Louis spun around instantly.

Louis nothing less than gasped at the sight of Harry’s house - he felt like he was going to pass out. If he had thought the other houses on the street had been impressive, then he had been clearly mistaken.

To call the house large would be a blissfully ignorant understatement. The exterior colour scheme of cream and black made it seem modern yet posh at the same time. Large, spotlessly clean windows lined every surface visible to the eye, but were so tinted that one couldn’t see inside and instead reflected the neat garden of brightly coloured flowers and hedges perfectly groomed into spheres that lined the house. Louis exhaled slowly as his eyes traced the outline of the black tiled roof as it sectioned off into a separate room at the right that was one story higher than the rest of the house - officially making it qualify as three stories - and formed a cylindrical shape. He wondered what that room was used for.

“Holy shit…” Louis breathed out in awe, but Harry only shrugged as he typed the four digit code into the keypad on the fence, opening the gate.

Once inside, Louis realised that he had horribly underestimated the magnificence of this house. Everything shone and reflected perfectly off the marble floor. Every designer piece of furniture and mahogany seemed to have a place and there wasn’t a single speck of dust to be seen anywhere. Louis suddenly felt extremely self conscious about his own cluttered, old-fashioned, humble home.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had such an amazing house, Haz!?” Louis exclaimed as his mouth hung open and his eyes roamed the large expanse of rooms before him.

Harry shrugged again and looked at his feet. “It’s just a house, you know. Never really feels like a home.”

Louis noted the quiver in his voice and made out to ask him what exactly he meant by that, but was cut short by the sparkle in Harry’s eye as he looked up and giggled, “Wanna check out my room?”

He nodded like a little kid and chased Harry up the stairs, too afraid to use the intricately sculpted white banister just in case he dirtied or ruined it somehow. 

When Harry swung open a large white door with a silver handle at the top of the stairs, Louis realised that he was in the cylindrical room; the only room on the third floor. He smiled to himself as he walked through the doorway after Harry - this room had intrigued him the most from the outside, and he was glad that the person who occupied it was Harry.

The room was such a contrast to the rest of the house, the walls were painted deep blue instead of the usual spotless white and littered with posters of bands that Louis didn’t recognise. His bed was messy and unmade against one wall and was so large and intricate in design that it seemed to take up one entire side of the huge circular room. The thing Louis liked most about Harry’s bedroom was the large window seat against the far wall. The bench that formed a windowsill was littered with pillows and books and seemed to be the only part of the boys room that he made any attempt to keep clean.

Louis smiled as he realised that this wasn’t the bedroom of the idolised football star Harry Styles that everyone at school thought he was, but the Harry Styles that kept secrets to himself and loved to read and cook that he had grown to love.

Louis walked over and perched on the edge of Harry’s window seat, being careful not to knock over a carefully stacked pile of books next to him.

“This is amazing, Harry.” Louis spoke under his breath, as if being careful not to break anything.

“I sit up there a lot,” Harry nodded to where Louis was seated, “it’s peaceful. And the view is pretty good, too.”

Louis spun his head to the left and glanced out the window that he was yet to look out of. Harry was right, the scenery was beautiful. Through the scattering of houses you could see a lake that Louis had heard of but never visited and he hoped that Harry would take him there some day. The lake was surrounded by trees that spread and covered mountains further in the distance. Louis nodded, taking in the serendipity. 

He turned back around to face Harry and realised that he was a lot closer to him now than what he had expected - not that he really minded that at all. He looked up at Harry from under his eyelashes and smiled slightly with his lips closed, his cheeks turning pink slightly.

Harry shuffled him backwards ever so slightly until the backs of his knees touched the edge of the bench. He opened his mouth to say something but before he was able to form a coherent sentence in his head Harry was straddling his lap and wrapping his arms around his neck, his hands disappearing into his caramel locks.

Louis was certain that Harry must have felt his pants tighten at their sudden close proximity by the way he smirked knowingly at him and ground his hips down ever so slightly onto his growing bulge. 

In a manner that was so slowl it was almost painful, their faces inched closer and closer until finally feather light contact was made, their lips brushing briefly. 

Louis tilted his chin forward in a desperate attempt to deepen the contact but Harry only pulled away further, smirking at him.

“Oh so that’s how it’s going to be, you little tease?” Louis giggled with mock anger, but before he could say anything else Harry dived forward and landed on top of Louis. The window seat provided enough room for both of them to lay down and Harry smirked from his position above Louis, pinning his hands above his head, their fingers interlaced.

In one swift movement he ground his hips down on Louis’ and bit down on the soft skin on his neck at the same time. Louis couldn’t - and didn’t really try to - constrain himself and groaned unashamedly loud at the sudden contact.

He felt Harry roll off and he wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted to stop or if he wanted Louis to get on top, but he presumed it was the latter and rolled with him, straddling his waist.

Louis looked down at Harry as if to make sure that this was okay, however the sparkling in his eyes seemed to make no objection whatsoever. He leant down and connected their lips finally, nibbling gently at his plump bottom lip every now and then as he would pull away - a trick he had learnt from Harry himself.

He felt Harry’s large hands trail down his back from where they had been wrapped around his neck and disappear into the waistband of his trousers. He squeezed Louis’ buttocks gently and pressed him downward onto his own hardening bulge and Louis took this as a signal to slide his hand down the front of Harry’s pants. He began to palm him slowly and he felt the grip on his rear tighten and release with pleasure as Harry rolled his head forward to press their lips together.

There was a sudden knock at the door.

A female’s voice sung out from behind his door. “Harry, are you home?”

Louis rolled off his boyfriend in panic and landed on the floor in a confused, flustered mess. “I thought you said you would have the house free?” he whispered quickly once he had recollected himself.

“And I thought my sister was staying at her friends place for the weekend.” Harry replied, slightly annoyed, as he stood up and fixed his clothing.

“Come in, Gem.” He called out.

Only a second later the figure of Gemma Styles emerged in the doorway, she had long dark hair that disappeared somewhere behind her shoulders and she greeted the two of them with a warm smile. Louis instantly noticed her bright green eyes. They’re not as sparkly as Harry’s. He thought somewhat proudly to himself.

“This is Louis, he’s erm… A friend of mine, from school. A really, good… friend.” Harry mumbled awkwardly, glancing over a Louis reassuringly.

Louis felt a pang in his chest that he willed to go away. Harry’s whole family was convinced he was straight and he knew he couldn’t admit to their relationship at the present time. Louis convinced himself to not worry about it, but couldn’t help but feel at least a little sad when Harry had to so blatantly deny their feelings for each other.

“Hi Louis, I’m Gemma.” She grinned at him openly but her eyes gleamed with a hint of what seemed to be suspicion or unease. She made no noticeable move to keep any conversation going between them and this Louis was thankful for, because he wasn’t sure exactly how much he might accidentally blurt out once in conversation.

“I’ll be heading back over to El’s house soon, Harry, I just had to pick up a few things. Wanted to check you were okay.”

“I’m fine.” Harry called back with no emotion present in his voice.

“Clearly.” She called out over her shoulder and made her way out of the room to collect her belongings. The word should have been neutral but instead seemed to be laced with a mocking tone that Louis couldn’t quite understand.

Louis noticed Harry’s shoulders visibly relax as she left the room and he wasn’t sure if it was because they would once again have the house to themselves soon, or because his sister and her scrutinising eyes were out of the room thankfully with no idea of the previous occurrences. 

“That was my sister.” Harry spoke, but his words sounded uninterested, as if it were something he was being forced to say.

“She seems nice,” Louis replied sweetly “looks a lot like you.” He was being honest, but Louis could tell Harry was eager to change the subject of the conversation.

He made a mental note to ask Harry about his family later.

~*~

It wasn’t until three hours later and the two boys were curled up next to each other on the settee eating Chinese food and watching reruns of Friends that Gemma finally disappeared again. Louis thought her departure was strange; if the room they were seated in wasn’t nearby the front door then he guessed that she probably wouldn’t have announced the fact that she was leaving at all. 

When she muttered a goodbye to the two of them, she didn’t include any information whatsoever about where exactly she was going or when she would be home, she just left. Harry hardly responded to her at all, his only response being a muffled “Bye” as he pretended to be far more interested in the take out box in his lap than he clearly was.

The door shut firmly, instantly changing the atmosphere of the room and making Harry visibly more relaxed and he whispered an audible, “Thank god for that.”

Louis chuckled at Harry, he wasn’t really sure why he was so on edge about his sister being home with them but he presumed it had something to do with him being worried she would find out what their relationship really was. This didn’t stop Louis from wondering about their relationship, however. Which was why he could hardly stop himself before he blurted out.

“Are you close with your sister?” 

Harry didn’t respond for a moment, and Louis worried that he might have touched on a topic that was sensitive to the other boy.

“We used to be.” Harry knew he couldn’t lie to Louis, he could always tell.

“Not anymore?”

“Not really.”

“What changed?”

The question hung in the air, suspended in the moment for a second and Louis wondered whether or not it was a bad question to ask. Harry shrugged, and for a moment Louis thought it was going to be the only response he received from the curly haired boy, until he opened his mouth and drew in another breath in preparation.

“We did.”

The answer was simple enough and not exactly difficult to understand, but Louis was confused nonetheless. Wasn’t it usually the other way around? Siblings would fight when they were younger but when they grew up would finally get over their differences and eventually grow to like each other? Louis didn’t get chance to voice his thoughts.

“Apart from you, she’s the only other person that knows I’m… That I like boys.”

Louis was startled “You told her? When? I thought you said no one else knew?” A pointless string of questions rolled off his tongue as his mind spun with incredible velocity. 

“Not about us.” Harry corrected himself quickly, “But yeah, she knows.”

“How did she take it?”

Harry bit his lip. “Not too well… She just made such a big deal out of it and it really made me think; if my own sister is so disgusted by me, then how is everyone else going to take it?”

Harry shook his curls and played with his hands nervously. “I made her swear not to tell anyone else. If it wasn’t for the fact that I was begging her on my knees in tears she probably wouldn’t have agreed anyway.”

“I’m sorry, Harry.”

“Don’t be sorry, Lou, it’s not your fault.”

Louis nodded sympathetically, “I wish I could just do something to help, I feel so helpless.”

“You already have.” Harry’s eyes sparkled and brightened suddenly as he looked up to his boyfriend with a small smile on his face.

Louis just frowned confusedly at him.

“Just being with me is enough of a reward.”

Harry’s jade green orbs glistened as he stared lovingly at his boyfriend, a slight smirk present on his lips.

“Stop it, you sap.” He punched Harry on the arm playfully. 

Harry giggled as he fell back into the couch. “Hey! I was being serious!”

“Mmm? Then I guess you won’t mind me doing this.”

Louis wasn’t sure where the impulse had come from but before he could stop himself he was straddling Harry’s lap and biting down gently at the skin just under his jawline. 

Harry groaned softly and snaked his arms around Louis’ waist, clearly having no objections to the situation if the tightening of his pants under Louis’ thighs was anything to go by.

When Harry’s neck was marked with a scattering of purple bruises, Louis moved his lips to Harry’s own and kissed him deeply, grinding his hips down onto Harry’s groin.

He snaked his tongue out of his mouth and parted Harry’s lips, claiming a new found dominance that he wasn’t entirely sure if he felt comfortable possessing, but continued nonetheless. 

Harry was so achingly hard now that Louis could practically feel his length jabbing into his leg from his position atop his lap. So, being the wonderful boyfriend that he was, he decided to put Harry out of his misery, and snaked his hand slowly - teasingly, into the front of his pants.

Harry bit down on Louis’ bottom lip as a strange way of announcing his appreciation. Partly to regain dominance, and partly because he wanted to try something new altogether, Louis pushed Harry backward onto the couch, pulling their lips apart in the process.

Louis snaked his hands up Harry’s shirt, lifting it at the same time to expose his milky skin, and slowly made his way down his lean torso, peppering kisses all over as he went, and stopped just above the waist of his trousers.

In one swift movement Harry’s chinos and pants were in a pile on the floor, leaving Louis blowing hot breaths onto the sensitive skin of Harry’s hardened length.

Without hesitating, Louis flattened his tongue and pressed it against the underside of the head of Harry’s cock, swirling it as he did so before taking the whole tip in his mouth and sucking ever so slightly.

Louis hardened his tongue and flicked it over Harry’s frenulum in short, sharp movements. He felt his hair being fisted tightly and took this as a signal to dive forward, Harry’s whole length disappearing into Louis’ warm mouth.

His nose brushed against Harry’s neatly trimmed pubic hair as he bobbed his head up and down a few times, feeling him poke the back of his throat. The sensation was uncomfortable, but the way Harry was moaning out “Louis, baby, unf…” while running his fingers through his feathered locks turned him on more than he cared to admit.

Harry threw his head back in sheer bliss, this was like nothing he had ever experienced. Sure, he had received plenty of blowjobs from girls in his lifetime, but they had never been this good. There was something about the way Louis flicked his tongue expertly over just the right spots as his head bobbed up and down over him that made Harry’s insides squirm. 

The curly haired lad opened his eyes once more to watch his boyfriend work his magic on him. The way Louis’ lips were red and swollen as they pursed around his length made it impossible for Harry to hold in the warm sensation in the pit of his stomach for any longer. He spurted his hot liquid into the back of Louis’ throat and he swallowed without hesitation.

When Harry had finally caught his breath and his body no longer felt like jelly, he sat up abruptly and yanked Louis’ head towards his own with a firm hand at the base of his neck.

He kissed him deeply and passionately and Louis swore that every kiss they shared was impossibly better than the last.

~*~

When Louis woke in the morning, he was disappointed to find that he was alone in Harry’s bed that was far too large for just one person. He remembered falling asleep tangled impossibly tight amongst Harry’s limbs, and hoped that he would awake in the exact same manner.

The still sleep-ridden boy rolled over and glanced around Harry’s amazingly decorated room. He noticed the way Harry always had his curtains drawn, allowing a free flow of light into the room at all times, and the way that his clothes had been thrown haphazardly into his cupboard, yet every single pair of his shoes were aligned neatly against the wall. He took in every sight and everything that was so incredibly Harry and nothing else but him. Louis smiled simply at the thought of his boyfriend; everything about his was so imperfectly perfect.

As Louis stretched his limbs across Harry’s bed, the smell of bacon wafted into the room and instantly made him rise from the bed and make his way down the three stories to the kitchen. Before Louis left the room he threw on a pair of grey track suit pants that had been discarded on the floor amidst last nights events. As he walked down the stairs he realised a bit too late that they were in fact Harry’s… Oh well.

Harry was standing at the stove top with his back to Louis. He was wearing only a loose black v-neck and a pair of navy blue boxers that accentuated his firm buttocks quite nicely, if Louis were to say so himself.

He leaned up against the fridge and smiled as he watched Harry work and scurry about the opposite side of the kitchen, completely oblivious to Louis’ presence.

Eventually Louis walked up behind his boyfriend and slipped his arms around his waist, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck.

“Oh!” Harry sang out a bit too delightedly and the sudden presence in the room “Good morning.”

“Morning, sunshine.” Louis chuckled as Harry spun around in his arms.

“Are you wearing my clothes?” Harry raised an eyebrow at him, glancing down at his attire.

Louis shrugged, “I am.” as he moved to sit at one of the stools by the kitchen bench.

Harry shook his head, curls tumbling in front of his eyes as he did so. “Help yourself, why don’t you.”

Louis only sighed in response, “What are you cooking?”

“Breakfast.” Harry replied, turning to check on his meal as he wiped his curls from his face.

“For me? You shouldn’t have.” Louis stuck out his bottom lip and batted his eyelids and Harry who stuck his tongue out playfully in response.

Harry scooped up a plate and piled it with the food from the stove before setting it in front of Louis and announcing proudly, “Bacon and eggs benedict.”

“Oh god, Harry,” Louis eyed his plate in awe “this looks delicious. I think I love you.”

“You love me?” Harry’s voice was startled in a sense that seemed like he was trying to hide the fact. Out of all the things Louis had just said, that was what he picked up on? Really?

Louis looked up at the other boy, checking to see if his uncertain voice matched his facial expression. But Harry’s eyes were shining, sparkling even, in the anticipation of the moment as he looked at his boyfriend expectantly.

“Yeah,” Louis spoke softly, nodding his head. “Yeah I do.”

Harry smiled but he didn’t respond, only turned to fill his own plate and Louis instantly worried if he really should have said his last sentence.

Did he love Harry?

Hell, of course he did.

Someone can’t be such a huge aspect of your life, so important to you that you miss them every second you are apart without being able to say that you love them. Louis told Harry everything, no secrets were kept between the two. Louis looked at Harry like he had just saved a million kittens from trees or found a cure for cancer or anything else wonderful that matched the amount of awe in his expression when he looked at Harry. So yeah, he did love Harry Styles. Messy, four-nippled, book loving Harry Styles.

But did he feel the same way? 

Judging from the way Harry pulled up a stool next to Louis a lot closer than really necessary to eat his breakfast, he thought so. But Harry was still yet to voice that observation out loud.

Louis prayed silently that he hadn’t rushed Harry into anything he didn’t want or need, and potentially ruined their chances at a relationship. He cared about Harry far too much now to just get up and leave.

He needed Harry in his life.


	8. Chapter 8

Louis’ exciting, Harry-filled weekend came to an end all too soon, leaving him unbearably sad that it was now in the past, yet ecstatic because of the simply and utterly great memories of the past couple of days floating around in his brain all at the same time, not to mention a little too sore when he sat down.

The incessant throbbing between Louis’ arse cheeks as he walked reminded him of the very incriminating events of the weekend, in particular a bit of fun they had in a shower they shared on Saturday night after getting into a food fight and absolutely covered each other with tomato sauce. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind to save for later. Walking to school really wasn’t the time to get aroused about shower sex he had with his boyfriend and the bulge that formed in his pants would have been hard to hide in his skin tight jeans that left little to the imagination.

As Louis walked through the familiar grounds of his school on the route to his locker, he tried his absolute best to walk as normally as possible. More rumours and snide remarks about his sexuality wasn’t something he had any interest in facing right now, so he pushed through the pain as much as he could, keeping a respectable posture.

As always, double English was his first class on a Monday morning, and before he even entered the room he knew that Harry would be sitting in the back corner with a smirk on his face and a sparkle in his eye the moment he laid eyes on his boyfriend. The thought of even being in the same room as Harry made him bubbly and giggly. But she shook his head, you’re not a twelve-year-old girl, Tomlinson.

When he entered the room, however, it was apparent that Louis’ prediction was more of a desire than anything else, because when he entered the classroom Harry did not smirk at him proudly, and his eyes certainly did not glimmer with mischief like he had hoped they would. Instead, Harry struggled to form the smallest of crooked smiles, his eyes seeming worried or unsure for a moment, before glancing away quickly and swallowing as he did so.

Louis frowned as he swivelled around into his seat, not wanting to get caught staring for too long. Had he done something wrong? Everything seemed to be fine between them when he had left Harry’s house on Sunday afternoon, so what had changed in the short couple of hours since then?

Harry can’t be mad at me, no no no. Please no, this can’t happen.

Louis racked his brain desperately for any small trace of a memory about something he might have done to upset the other boy, but nothing at all came to mind.

Harry was relatively quiet and not at all like himself for the whole double session, only speaking when spoken to, and he made no attempt at banter or mischief for the whole lesson. Louis didn’t have any other classes with Harry that day and coincidentally - he thought, because surely Harry wouldn’t be avoiding him? - didn’t see him for the rest of the school day.

Louis walked to the familiar spot around the corner from school where he met Harry nearly every day, a habit they had become quite accustomed to. As his feet glided over the footpath, he allowed his mind to wander and questioned himself about if the other students at his school - Harry’s friends, in particular - thought it strange that the curly-haired football captain no longer took any interest in personally making his life a living hell. It had been at least a month since the last time Harry’s actions had left him with bruises - of the bad kind, anyway - and he wondered if Niall or Zayn ever questioned him about why he no longer beat up the awkward, openly gay drama geek. Louis was practically offering himself up to get beaten up, so why hadn’t Harry been taking that advantage just lately?

No one would have ever, in a million years, guessed the answer to that question correctly. This Louis was thankful for. Sure, there were times when he just wanted to run down the street hand in hand with Harry and scream out to the world “We’re in love and I don’t care what you think!”. But more often than that, just the mere thought of their relationship coming out scared to right down to the bone.

Harry wasn’t waiting for Louis at their spot when he arrived, which was strange, Harry was usually the first one there. Trying to convince himself not to assume the worst of the situation - as he knew he always did - Louis pulled out his phone. For what exact reason he wasn’t sure, maybe to check the time, or to see if Harry had texted him, or partly to avoid the awkwardness of waiting for someone by yourself and looking lonely.

The second Louis pulled the old nokia from his pocket it vibrated in his hand. Silently feeling like he had psychic powers, he slid it open smugly and read the new text.

To: Louis  
From: Harry  
Don’t wait up, doing math study in the library x

Louis frowned at his phone. When did Harry ever study?

He felt like a horrible person for thinking like that, - especially about his own boyfriend - but it was true that the football captain had a reputation for doing next to no study or even school work for that matter, yet still skim through all his exams with a reasonably acceptable pass. Most students would have been envious of Harry’s ability, and Louis guessed that he probably could have been pretty intelligent if he knuckled down a bit.

He didn’t reply to the text message; he couldn’t think of an answer that wouldn’t make him sound either too angry or too casual about the situation, so he settled for nothing as he slipped his phone back into his pocket and walked the rest of the way home by himself.

Without so much as a hello to his family and a noticeable change in his mood from a bit too much thinking as he walked home by himself, Louis darted up the stairs post haste and locked himself in his room.

Why exactly he wanted to exclude himself from the rest of his family at the present moment, he wasn’t sure. Louis just knew that right now he wanted to be alone. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to hold a conversation without snapping angrily at the other participant, not with all these doubts and questions about Harry floating around in his head.

Pulling his laptop open, Louis collapsed onto his bed and logged into his facebook account, desperately attempting to clear his mind of anythingeven remotely Harry related. (Sure, facebook probably wasn’t the best option to steer clear of Harry at the present time, but it was all he could think of to do.)

The little blue world globe next to the search bar at the top of the page shone with a bright red (1).

Liam Payne invited you to “Hall Cross vs McAuley football afterparty!!!”

Louis realised that he hadn’t spoken to Liam much in the last couple of weeks and made a mental note to text him or call him later. He clicked on the event somewhat lackadaisically and the page’s description informed him that the aforementioned lad was throwing a party in honour of their school’s football teams most important match of the season. 

At first Louis wasn’t really all that interested. He was aware of the fact that if it wasn’t Liam who had organised the party then he probably wouldn’t have even been invited in the first place. He was probably going to go, though, just to show his face, it wouldn’t hurt to boost his popularity at least a little. Maybe evenhave a few drinks, but he certainly wouldn’t enjoy it. Not that much anyway.

But then it clicked; Harry is on the football team.

His sudden realisation changed Louis’ mind almost instantly and he decided on the spot that there was no way in hell that he would not be attending that party on Saturday night.

He ran excitedly over to his wardrobe and started to select an appropriate outfit, dismissing the fact that it was still five days in advance.

Why exactly he wanted to go so badly simply because of Harry, he wasn’t sure. It’s not like they could exactly do anything, what with all their school mates being there and all. Even if they blamed it on the alcohol that Louis was sure would be in their systems, there would still be countless rumours and torment from their peers that neither of them would be able to face. He didn’t exactly feel like he needed to keep an eye on him either. Louis guessed that it had something to do with how strange Harry had been acting earlier, and tried not to think about it and cause any extra stress to his mind.

~*~

If Harry was not sick and away from school on Tuesday, then he had definitely been avoiding Louis. Hoping it was the former, Louis pulled out his phone on his walk home from school and texted his boyfriend.

To: Harry  
From: Louis  
Didn’t see you at school today, is everything okay? xx

Harry replied a little too soon, his phone vibrating in his hand as he still stared at the screen in the aftermath of sending his last text message.

From: Harry  
To: Louis  
I was really busy today. But lets hang out after school tomorrow? x 

Louis smiled to himself as he typed out his reply to Harry. He had been so worried about the way he had been acting just lately, but now they could finally meet in person and figure everything out. Even if Harry wasn’t up for talking about it, Louis could always tell what he was feeling just by looking in his eyes that were oh so telling of his emotions. Everything was going to be okay again.

Louis literally froze, halting his movement for a moment. but what if the reason Harry wanted to see him wasn’t good? What if Harry announced the fact that he thinks they should stop seeing each other? What if he never wants to see him again at all? Louis panicked, unsure now whether or not his reply seemed too eager as he doubted Harry’s motives.

Calm down, Louis. You’re overreacting again.

Louis breathed deeply and tried to clear his mind, everything was going to be okay. Whatever the result, it was for the better. Everything happens for a reason, right?

~*~

Wednesday flew past a little too quickly amongst all the anticipation in Louis’ stomach about seeing Harry that afternoon.

There was really no valid explanation as to why exactly he was so nervous, but Harry’s strange behaviour for the past couple of days had Louis worried and he simply wanted to spend some quality time with that curly haired boy again. Make sure he was okay.

“Harry! Hey!” Louis chirped, rising from the bench and hugging his boyfriend. But his hug wasn’t reciprocated. Not in the way it should be, anyway.

Harry should have snaked his arms around Louis’ torso as tightly as he possibly could, he should have squeezed him as if he never wanted to let go and linger for just a second too long like he usually did. He should not have just place his hands lightly on his hips for a few brief moments like he did instead.

“Hi Louis.”

Louis pulled away somewhat embarrassed but still nonetheless eager to maintain a conversation. They had too much to talk about to let that minor incident get in the way.

“How have you been? I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” Louis tried, beginning to walk side by side with Harry along the pathway winding through the park.

“I’m fine, been pretty busy recently.”

“Busy? With what?” Louis hoped his tone sounded only curious and not too suspicious.

“Just studying.”

“Harry you never study…”

Harry just shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets, abolishing any chances Louis had of grabbing his palm and interlocking their fingers.

After a moment of silence that was just a bit too long to be still considered comfortable, Louis stupidly blurted out the first thing that came into his mind, “Are you going to Liam’s party on Saturday?”

Louis mentally slapped himself for asking such an idiotic question. Harry was the god damn football captain, of course he was going to go to a party in honour of their team.

Harry glanced sideways at Louis, trying not to show his evident surprise that Louis was attending. 

“Yeah I… I am. You?” There was obvious unease in the boy’s tone that both confused and worried Louis at the same time.

“I think so, maybe.” Louis lied easily when all he was thinking in his head was hell yes I am definitely going.

“Oh, cool.”

Really, Harry, that’s all you can think to respond with? Really?

“Listen, Lou, I’ve got to get going, okay? I’ll call you later.” And with a light peck on Louis’ left cheek, Harry was gone and Louis was still standing in the same spot. The light touch had left his cheek tingling, but not as much as his thoughts. 

~*~

Harry never called. Not on Wednesday afternoon, not on Wednesday night, not even at all on Thursday. Louis grew increasingly worried about him - or more so, their relationship - and begun thinking that Harry would never call.

Eventually, though, the curly haired lad made an attempt at communication. It wasn’t a call, but it sufficed - for now.

Louis’ received a good morning text message on Friday that contrasted greatly to Harry’s behaviour over the past couple of days, much to his delight.

To: Louis  
From: Harry  
Morning, sunshine :D x

God, Harry. Why do you have to be so damn confusing?

To: Harry  
From: Louis  
Good morning Hazza, how was your sleep? x

To: Louis  
From: Harry  
Good, I dreamt about you ;)

To: Harry  
From: Louis  
Oh god, Harry Edward Styles… I don’t even want to know

To: Louis  
From: Harry  
Oh but you really do ;) 

Unfortunately the two lads didn’t have any classes together on Fridays, so naturally their cute, coupley text messages lasted throughout the duration of the whole school day.

Louis wasn’t sure what exactly had caused Harry’s sudden change in attitude towards him, but he certainly wasn’t complaining.

~*~ 

It was finally Saturday night, and Louis had been staring, unimpressed, at his reflection for the past half an hour. He hadn’t heard from Harry since he bid him goodnight at a reasonably late hour last night, but Louis assumed he was busy playing the actual game of football that was the cause of the party tonight, and decided it would be best not to bother him with any more text messages when he didn’t reply to his “Good luck today, curly xx”.

After deciding on a relatively gay looking grey jumper and dark denim skinny jeans, he slipped his feet into a pair white superga’s. Still completely unsatisfied with his appearance, yet deciding that he simply would not be able to find anything else to wear that he approved of, Louis stormed out of his room and made his way down the stairs.

Liam lived relatively close to Louis so he decided to walk to the party, also considering the fact that it would look a lot cooler than getting dropped off out the front by his mum who would no doubt analyse every person she saw.

As he reached the end of his friends street, he could already hear the thumping music somewhere not too far off. As the bass got louder and closer and Louis started to see a swarm of people already swaying and grinding to music, he begun to regret coming before he even got there.

When he reached the house, the party was already in full swing, with the booze flowing and bodies growing sweatier as they pressed up against each other in a filthy dance to the generic party music.

His bright blue eyes scanned every corner of every room as he walked through the house, in search of only one thing; those chocolate brown curls. When he had thoroughly made his way through each story of the house (the bottom story twice) Louis had almost given up hope searching and decided to grab a beer to ease his nerves a little.

That was when he spotted him in the corner of Liam’s noticeably crowded kitchen laughing and jeering with a group of people, yet to notice his presence - thankfully.

Trying to be subtle but failing miserably, Louis slid over to the fridge and pretended to search for a drink while he listened in all too intently to their conversation.

“C’mon Hazza, we’re not asking you to marry her or anythin’, it’ll just be for one night.” Niall’s Irish accent was noticeably thicker in his clearly drunken state.

Harry murmured a sound of disapproval, looking pointedly less intoxicated than his friends, but still not entirely sober “No, I can’t do that, I’m not going to fuck her.”

“Well don’t fuck ‘er then, just dance with her an’ maybe hook up a little, she’s a right fit bird tho’ so you’d be crazy not to.” Zayn slurred at him as he elbowed him in the ribs, his drink sloshing about a little and spilling a bit onto the floor.

Louis froze by the fridge, his ears straining to hear their conversation over the loud thumping of the music, all too aware of what was going on.

“Zayn I…” Harry began but was soon cut off by his raven haired friend shouting,

“Just look at her!” as he spun him around by the shoulders and pointed to a busty blonde girl in a black dress that was all too snug, who was talking to a group of what Louis presumed to be her friends, as they all twirled their hair and giggled, throwing not-so-subtle glances in the boy’s direction.

“Alright fine.” Harry said raising his hands, defeated. “I’m still not going to have sex with her though.” he called out over his shoulder as Zayn pushed him towards the group of girls.

Louis panicked. He had to move in to get a closer look.

Unsurprisingly, he decided that it would be best to not complete this mission entirely sober and without giving it much thought, downed a rather generous amount of vodka straight from the bottle, wincing at the burn in his throat as he made his way over to where Harry was already dancing pressed up against the girl.

He plonked himself down on a nearby couch and surveyed the room, looking for Harry. Louis scoffed when his eyes found what he was looking for. The girl had turned around and was grinding her arse down onto the front of Harry’s trousers suggestively as she tangled her hands in her own hair and rolled her body up and down.

I’m afraid your barking up the complete wrong tree, sweetheart. Louis thought to himself with a roll of his eyes and a rather jealous expression over his face.

“Hey!” A rather sweet sounding voice interrupted his thoughts and he was shaken out of his Harry-transfixed state.

“Remember me?” The voice spoke again and Louis turned to find the source of it.

The boy had rather, what Louis could only think to describe of as, flippy, brown hair and an earring in the top of his ear. He seemed vaguely familiar and Louis squinted his eyes at the boy, trying to figure out where he had seen him before.

“I guess not, then.” The boy chuckled and placed himself down next to Louis. “I’m Josh, Liam tried to set us up once. But if I remember correctly you clearly had other plans that night.” He eyed Harry questioningly and raised his eyebrows at him.

Something in Louis’ brain clicked and he suddenly remembered the awkward encounter at the party he had attended quite some time ago. The other events of that night that started to creep back into his mind had to be quickly shaken away before he became completely lost in his own little world. “Oh yes, of course I remember! How have you been, Josh?” Louis was really more happy that he wasn’t sitting alone awkwardly on the couch any more, but he made a pointed effort to avoid the comment he had made about Harry, not being entirely sure what he might accidentally let slip.

“Yeah pretty good, thanks. Yourself?” Josh grinned at him.

Louis glanced over curiously to Harry before responding, and was shocked to find him staring directly back at him, still dancing filthily with the blonde. His eyes were sharp and dark, not angry but definitely not kind. If Louis was still sober enough to think straight then he could have sworn that he saw a hint of jealousy flash through the green orbs.

“I’m great. Listen do you…” Louis tore his eyes away from Harry’s for a moment to look at Josh. “Do you want to dance?”

Apparently that was exactly what Josh had been waiting for, because his only response was to grab Louis by the hand and lead him directly to the middle of the dance floor, dangerously close to where Harry and his female companion were grinding all over each other.

Louis snaked his arms around Josh’s stout neck effortlessly, glancing over at Harry as he did so to see if he was watching.

Sure enough, Harry was pressed tightly to the busty blonde girl, grinding and moving their bodies disgustingly together with the music. Louis wasn’t sure if what they were doing could even be classified as dancing together any more, or rather having filthy sex in the middle of the room while still fully clothed - if that tiny piece of black material could even be considered as a sad excuse for a dress, Louis thought to himself.

Harry glanced up and his eyes locked with Louis’ once more, but this time they glimmered unmistakably with something like revenge and determination. He reached both hands down and squeezed the girls arse, pulling her writhing form impossibly closer to himself, slipping one of his knees between her own and rubbing his pelvis onto her thigh.

Louis scoffed and squinted his eyes at Harry before turning to Josh in front of him and pressing their bodies together. The large amount of alcohol he had consumed not too long ago finally started to hit him and made everything go a little blurry around the edges. Before he had chance to process his thoughts properly through the alcohol-induced daze, Louis was leaning forward and pressing his lips onto the other boys and wedging his tongue into his mouth, the only thought in his mind being the question if Harry was watching him.

He opened his bright cerulean eyes and glared at Harry - lips and tongue still moving intimately against Josh’s. Harry looked hurt and saddened yet also jealous and angry amongst his filthy grinds and squeezes against the trampy female pressed against him.

Louis was overwhelmed with a smug feeling of accomplishment however it was mixed with something else like regret and the horrible feeling that he had made a huge mistake. Just as he began to regret his actions more and more, Harry grabbed the girl by the hand and shimmied his way out of the room and up the stairs, making sure that Louis watched him on his way.

That’s it. Louis thought to himself. This has gone way too fucking far.

He tore his own lips away from Josh and muttered an insincere “I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go” without even waiting for a reaction as he made a beeline for the front door.

As he forced his way through the crowd of people in the front room of the house, Louis thought that he was probably the worst person in the entire fucking world. 

Harry had only been dancing with that girl anyway, - no matter how filthy and trashy it had been - no real intimate contact had been made. So why did he have to take everything way too far and shove his tongue down Josh’s throat?

Louis internally punched himself as hard as he could; he was so mad at himself. Finally something good happens to him and he’s happy and content for once in his life, then he has to fuck everything up and ruin it before it even has a chance of getting serious.

Louis felt like he was going to be sick, and as soon as he was out of the house and into the fresh air once again, he doubled over on the footpath and emptied the contents of his stomach onto the grass.

Brushing it off as the result of the alcohol and definitely not having anything to do with how disgusted he was in himself, Louis straightened up and wiped his mouth, ignoring the drunken people nearby who were cheering at his action.

He blocked out all the other sounds and sights around him and attempted to make his way home in his drunken state as best as he could, trying desperately not to think about the fact that right now Harry was busy sticking his dick in a busty blonde female.

~*~

Louis stumbled out into the night without so much as looking back at the brightly lit house and the thumping music where he had left Harry. Not that Harry really cared right now, though, did he? As far as he was concerned, Harry was crammed into a dimly lit room pressed to the body of that curvy blonde tramp.

He shuffled confusedly and desperately away from the writhing crowd and out into the empty street. Only after he had reached the end of Liam’s road did it finally dawn on him that this was a really fucking stupid idea. Everything around him was spinning and he could only focus his eyes on something for a matter of seconds before he fell over.

Whipping his head back around to the direction of his mate’s house, he noticed that it was no longer in view, which caused him to panic slightly. Having Liam’s house in his periphery served as some sort of weird comforter that he wasn’t really alone in the night, but that was gone now. The possibility of going back and crashing there for the night ran through his mind, but only for a brief moment.

Then he remembered Harry; his face and hands in all their glory, roaming over the girl’s curvy figure and leading her up the stairs into privacy, and there was no fucking way he was going back. Not when he would have to see Harry emerge from the room, curls flattened slightly, with a smirk on his face and love bites all over his neck that Louis hadn’t made himself. No, he wasn’t going to give Harry that satisfaction.

"Fuck you!" Louis screamed into the night, his emotions suddenly overwhelming him. His words slurred together as he raised his middle fingers up at the sky, hoping that somehow the message would telepathically transfer to Harry’s brain.

Louis stumbled forward into the direction he thought his house was and realised that he really was a lot more drunk than he had originally thought, when he found himself doubled over in the middle of the road.

Clutching at the bitumen as an attempt to steady himself, his head spun and Louis was spontaneously overwhelmed with the urge to vomit again. As he desperately willed his mind to settle down a bit, Louis froze, and was suddenly all too aware of the bright lights of a car flooding his surroundings and beaming down on him intimidatingly. He snapped his head up and his eyes grew wide with fear at the large four wheel drive careering on at full speed right towards him, the horn honking furiously.

Something vibrated in his pocket - was someone ringing him? What a terrible choice of timing he thought, as he supposed that he would never get to find out who it was that was trying to contact him.

The petrified lad was absolutely frozen, unable to move, his heart beating a thousand times a minute, staring right at the car as it headed straight for him.

It was strange, Louis thought. He was about to meet his inevitable end yet there were no feelings of sorrow, regret or dismay. Only blankness. Emptiness.

He heard his name being called somewhere in the distance, by a voice that seemed so familiar and comforting and Harry-like that it drew an undeniable smile on Louis’ face as he straightened up his spine and braced himself for the inevitable.

The lights got closer and closer and flooded his vision, and the voice called out again, but it resembled Harry’s almost too much now that Louis was sure his mind had just been playing tricks on him in a moment of such an adrenaline rush. He longed to be closer to that voice, and for some unfathomable reason, he thought that if the lights got too close to handle and surrounded him completely and everything was suddenly nothing but light, he could be closer to that voice - and the person who possessed it - than he ever had been before. It was for this reason that Louis found himself standing up straight, arms outstretched, awaiting the blow with a manic look of euphoria across his face.

The next thing he knew, a force was hitting him sharply and all the air was knocked from his lungs and expelled out into the atmosphere. 

He heard the car growing quieter in the distance and he thought it strange that is hadn’t stopped but there was a weight pressed against his side as he was falling down, down, down…

"Loooouuuiis" The voice was soft and angelic, yet so deep and gravelly that it almost contradicted itself in a beautiful symphony of tones. Louis couldn’t help but smile as a shiver ran down his spine. "Louis, come with me."

He turned around and saw Harry standing there, his palm outstretched expectantly, waiting for Louis to take hold of it. Everything was clean and bright, like a better world where everything was completely Harry and Harry was completely his.

He complied without hesitating, lacing their fingers together and joining Harry’s step beside him.

"Where are we going, Haz?" Louis spoke but his voice sounded strange, distant; like it wasn’t coming from him.

"I want to show you something." Was all Harry replied with before tugging his hand a little harder and directing the two of them deep into the forest they had been standing beside.

It wasn’t long before the trees around them grew thicker and it became harder to walk through them, having to dodge a fallen log or bush occasionally.

"Harry, are you sure you know where we are? It’s pretty dark in here and I…"

"We’re here." 

With one more step forward the trees were opening out and suddenly everything was brightly lit again.

Louis looked up from the forest floor and instinctively let out an awed breath at the sight before him.

The two of them were standing at the edge of a fantastically high cliff where the land met the sea. How had Louis never been to this place before?

The blue of the ocean seemed to carry on forever in the distance and somewhere beneath them waves lapped heavily at the jagged rocks. The place seemed impossible, it was too beautiful to be real, but then he felt the presence of Harry’s hand in his own, and realised that if it was possible for someone that beautiful to be real, than this place must be to.

"Where are we?" Louis breathed out in bewilderment.

"This is it, Louis."

He turned face-to-face with his boyfriend questioningly.

"This is where it all ends, all the hiding, all the secrecy."

Louis furrowed his brow in confusion.

"We can finally be together, Lou. We can be in love forever and we won’t have to put up with any of that shit any more. We can end it all, right here. All you have to do is trust me." He offered his palm out to Louis. "Can you do that for me?"

He nodded desperately and grasped Harry’s hand tightly, because that was what he wanted more than anything in the world, and saying no to Harry was completely impossible anyway, in all situations.

And before he knew what was going to happen next, both of his hands were wrapping around Harry’s form and their lips were pressed together passionately in one final kiss.

Then they were falling. 

Down, down, down. The air disappearing above them as they plummeted to the sharp rocks below, pressed together desperately in love.

They fell for what seemed like eternity, not once releasing the grasp they had on each others bodies.

And then it came, Louis’ body eventually made contact with the rocks below, it was sharp and heavy, but the pain and the feeling wasn’t enough to match the situation. 

Harry’s figure had disappeared from beside him and now he was somehow flat on his back, a weight pressing into his chest and he wondered why he hadn’t slipped away yet…

"Louis…"

That voice, so soft. Louis stirred a little, his limbs felt restricted.

"Louis wake up." His mother, that’s who it belonged to. But how?

"Louis!" Why was her voice laden in panic? 

The cliff began crumbling and everything around him seemed to swirl around into one big mash of colours and brightness and…

Louis was shaken back into consciousness, his eyes snapping open and he drew in a sharp, panicked breath as he glanced around his surroundings.

The dark of the night flooded his vision, and he felt around him and realised that he was laying on the hard cement of a footpath. His mother was half on top of him in the aftermath of pushing him out of the way of the oncoming car, and she prodded at his face determinedly, desperately trying to make sure he was okay and unharmed.

"Louis!" She breathed a sigh of relief and pulled him up into tight a embrace, he noticed her car pulled over at the side of the road haphazardly, it’s door open and lights still flashing.

"Louis, darling, are you okay? What the hell were you thinking!?"

Apparently Louis almost-accident wasn’t enough to sober him up even a little, and he found himself completely unable to form a coherent reply as he babbled out pointless nothingness.

"Harry Styles… is a fucking slut!" He cried out eventually and buried his face into his mothers neck, not caring how pathetic he looked.

There wasn’t the slightest possibility of holding back the tears now, so he let them roll unashamedly down his cheeks as Jay patted his back reassuringly and carried him over to her car, relieved more than anything else that he was unharmed.

~*~

The door had only just closed behind Harry seconds ago but instantly he felt trapped. He hadn’t consumed anywhere near enough alcohol tonight to make his thoughts this incoherent and blurry, so why was the room spinning so much?

He spun around to face the direction of the door, and his eyes focused on the figure of a curvy blonde female making her way over and looking at him seductively from under her fake eyelashes.

The room was dark but Harry could still make out the devious glint in her thickly black-rimmed eyes as she hovered just in front of him. He could smell the alcohol on her breath and from the way her eye make-up had smudged considerably down her face he realised that she was a lot more drunk than he had originally thought.

"I’m Caroline." She whispered in a tone that was supposed to be suggestive, and Harry chuckled a little inside his head at the fact that she had no idea that she really was barking up the completely wrong tree.

She threw herself at his body spontaneously, wrapping her arms around his neck and attempting to crash their lips together. But Harry was too fast.

He quickly whipped his head to one side, converting the kiss from what she intended to be full frontal, to lips-to-cheek, her already open mouth leaving a wet patch on his skin. This wasn’t going to happen, not now, not here, not ever.

He couldn’t, wouldn’t, do that to Louis.

Oh god. Louis.

Harry’s mind flicked back to only moments prior when he had been dancing with said female downstairs, plastering his hands all over her body and trying to put on a show for Louis, out-dance him and prove that… that what, exactly?

Then Louis’ lips had connected with Josh’s but his eyes were connected with Harry’s and he knew… he knew exactly what he was trying to do.

What did he think this was, a fucking competition?

And that pushed Harry over the line, and he knew that he had to take the next step in this whole make-your-boyfriend-jealous ordeal.

That was why he now found himself cramped into this small, dimly-lit bedroom with a drunk blonde girl grinding herself against him and biting down at his collarbones.

It’s what he wanted, wasn’t it? So why did he feel so guilty?

Because Louis has only kissed Josh, that was really nothing in comparison to what he was about to do to Caroline.

But he couldn’t do it.

He hated himself for even considering it in the first place.

In one sharp movement, he pushed Caroline off, causing her to stumble back a bit before falling over clumsily due to her drunken state and incredulously high stiletto heels.

From her messy pile on the floor, she smirked up at him with glassy eyes. She pouted her lips suggestively and moved forward and latched her hands onto Harry’s belt loops. She made out to undo his fly and shuffled onto her knees.

"No, that’s not what I…" Harry didn’t bother finishing his sentence, she was too drunk to comprehend anything right now anyway. Instead he just shook off her grasp and side stepped around her, making his way towards the bedroom door with nothing on his mind but those bright cerulean eyes and that feathered caramel hair.

As he left the room he shot one last glance in the girl’s direction and saw her rolling about on the floor, making all sorts of incoherent gurgling sounds. He shook his head and couldn’t even for a moment bring himself to care that she would most likely wake up tomorrow morning in the same spot with a raging headache in a pool of her own vomit, no doubt.

Harry slammed the door - probably a bit harder than was necessary - behind him and raced down the stairs as fast as he could, his curls bouncing in front of his face at each hurried step.

Immediately his eyes scanned the room, in search for anything that even remotely resembled Louis, but he was nowhere to be seen.

That was when something else caught his eye, a stout boy with light brown hair holding a bottle of beer and laughing cheerily with Liam.

Josh.

Harry stalked his way over to him and grabbed him by the shirt front, spilling the boy’s beer in the process.

Why exactly he was being so aggressive towards the other lad didn’t really make sense to him; he hadn’t done anything wrong, Harry knew that. Louis was simply trying to make Harry jealous and Josh just happened to be the boy to get pulled along for the ride.

"Where’s Louis." Harry hissed at him through his teeth, spitting a little as he did so.

"Wh-what?" Josh seemed startled and dumbfounded at this strangers sudden anger towards him.

"Louis Tomlinson, where the fuck is he?” Harry jolted the smaller boy slightly with his words, tightening his grip on his shirt.

"I… I don’t know he left me alone about ten minutes ago." The poor boy looked around helplessly like a puppy.

"Whoa Haz, ease up." Liam stepped between them and pried his fist open, releasing the material of Josh’s shirt and leaving it crumpled and misshapen.

"I saw him leave not too long ago." Liam signalled to the door, slightly worried. "Why are-"

"You let him walk home by himself?" Harry interrupted and Liam just nodded nonchalantly, if not slightly confused.

"He was fucking drunk off his face, Liam!" Harry had raised his voice into a full-blown yell now, receiving some pretty odd looks from some of the more sober people standing nearby. But he didn’t care, not when his boyfriend was roaming the streets all alone and completely unable to take care of himself. How could Liam be so stupid? 

"But Harry, why are you-"

Harry stormed away from his friend and bustled through the crowd of people, making his way out of the front door to go and find Louis. He had to make things right, or, at least make sure that he was okay.

The chill of the night air prickled goose bumps on his skin as he hit the street and frantically threw his head in all sorts of directions, searching desperately for the one boy on his mind.

"Fuck, fuck fuck fuck." Harry mumbled to himself, noticing the panic evident in his own voice.

He ran a few paces down the street, and just as Liam’s house began to fade slightly in the distance and the thumping of the music grew quieter, he knew that Louis had already gone too far into the night.

Whipping his phone out of his pocket and hoping that Louis would somehow be sober enough to answer it, he dialled his number effortlessly, having memorised the digits by accident due to their constant calling and texting each other.

No answer.

Great, just fucking great.

"Louis!" Harry screamed into the night as a pathetic attempt to contact him, hoping that somehow Louis would hear him and come crawling back.

But this wasn’t a movie, and Louis didn’t suddenly appear from the bushes and fling himself at Harry, exclaiming his apologies. Instead he was met with absolute silence aside from the dull bass somewhere in the distance.

"Looouuuuis!" His voice was more fearful now, and he felt the lump that caught in his throat as he squinted his eyes against the dark of the night and looked around frantically.

When the only reply he got was the sound of his own voice echoing off the nearby houses, a sudden shiver of fear ran down his spine.

At that moment the wind picked up and Harry was suddenly all too aware of how cold it really was, not having noticed it properly before due to his panicked state.

Unwillingly, Harry turned and slowly made his way back to Liam’s house, deciding that he really had nowhere else to go tonight and that he would - unfortunately - have to wait until the morning when Louis would hopefully be in a better state of mind to discuss the situation.

If he even wanted to talk to him any more, that is.

He just hoped to god or anything else that was powerful and mighty that he was okay. Please, please just let him be safe. Don’t let anything happen to him.

I can’t lose him.

~*~

Louis squinted his eyes against the light pouring in through the window and glanced around his room. How exactly he had ended up here in the aftermath of his drunken night was a mystery to him, and he was surprised that he had even made it home in one piece at all.

Along with the dull throbbing in the back of Louis’ head came the blurry memory of last night that he had hoped so desperately that he wouldn’t remember. But he did; all too well he remembered Harry’s large hands and how they had been plastered all over the body of that busty blonde as he lead her up the stairs of Liam’s house. Louis had held those hands with his own. He had entangled their fingers and felt them roam around every inch of his torso. They had slithered into his pants and done unnameable things to him. Those long, bony fingers had been inside him, had been wrapped around his cock as Harry stroked teasingly and stared deep into Louis’ eyes. They shouldn’t be touching her like that.

Again Louis felt horribly sick as something built up inside him and before he knew it, he was rushing to the bathroom before dropping to his knees on the tiles and emptying the contents of his stomach into the formerly clean toilet bowl.

Brushing it off as merely the after effects of the seemingly large amount of alcohol he had consumed the night prior, Louis nonchalantly flushed the liquid down and trudged back into his bedroom.

Louis wasn’t exactly sure whether he was supposed to be furious or upset about last nights events, but presuming it was a mixture of the two, he flung himself back onto his mattress, limbs flailing about as he did so, and buried his face into his pillow, willing all thoughts of Harry to dissolve from his mind.

His head throbbing and thoughts swirling and completely unfit to face the day, Louis pulled the covers back over his head and stayed like that for the rest of his Sunday, only leaving his room to use the bathroom and get food when absolutely necessary.

In his cocoon of blankets, he recalled what could only be described as nearly getting fucking run over. He recalled - and tried to make sense of - the strange dream scenario that he had created in his head, but the fact that the Harry incident was more important to him than that right now was all too obvious, and made him feel sort of weirdly guilty, but he didn’t care. Harry was the most important thing in his life right now.

~*~

Louis slid open his phone on Monday morning to discover a multitude of missed calls and unread text messages, each and every one of them from Harry. Rolling his eyes and huffing to himself impatiently, he deleted every single one without even reading them.

He didn’t need to, he already knew what they were going to say, and he wasn’t going to buy it this time. Not if Harry was just going to keep hurting him again and again. He clearly meant nothing to Harry. Not as much as he meant to Louis anyway.

As the memories of Saturday night once again came flooding back, Louis felt his eyes well up with hot tears that he tried so desperately to push back down.

You’re bigger than this, Louis, pull yourself together.

The fact that Louis would have to spend double English with Harry this morning was unfortunately inevitable, despite his dramatic pleas to his mother that he really was ill and simply had to stay home.

He felt a bit guilty about using his almost-accident as an excuse, but if it meant staying away from Harry for as long as possible at the time being, he was willing to try anything.

Of course, she didn’t buy it - and slightly felt like he needed to be punished for getting so recklessly drunk on the weekend - which is why Louis now found himself pressed into his seat at the front of the classroom with Harry mere metres away.

For the whole class, Louis felt as though each and every one of his moves were being watched and scrutinised by the curly-haired boy at the back of the room. He wondered what he was thinking as he watched him; was he angry at Louis for ignoring him? Or was he simply craving any form of attention from his (ex?) boyfriend?

The lad’s thoughts were interrupted by a crumpled up piece of paper landing on his desk and the swish of a body as it made it’s way past his desk to the front of the room.

He looked up and saw Harry throw something in the small paper bin - an excuse to walk past Louis’ desk to perform his deed of handing him a note - before glancing up at him. Harry’s eyes floated down to the object he had just sneakily placed on Louis’ desk before he silently made his way back to his own seat.

Somewhat hesitantly, Louis reached forward and flattened out the piece of paper.

Louis, meet at our spot after school?  
Harry xx

Harry wanted to meet up? Why?

The briefness of his note made Louis sort of angry.

No exact details of why exactly he wanted to meet were included. Louis hoped, for Harry’s sake, that he hadn’t just presumed that everything was okay between the two of them, and that he simply wanted to meet up just so that they could hang out.

But then there was the mass of calls and texts - each of which Louis didn’t answer - so he guessed Harry probably got the message that he was angry at him.

Yeah, he probably wanted to see Louis so he could tell him that he was “just so sorry” and that “it was all an accident and didn’t mean anything to me at all.”

He would be lying, of course, Louis had heard it all before. But there was no denying that a small part of him really wanted to hear what Harry had to say, and what did he have to lose? - and although he wouldn’t admit it, he really really wanted things to be okay with Harry again, or at least form some sort of proper closure about the situation - so he didn’t have too much of an objection as he walked nervously to “their spot” after school.

Harry was already leant up against the brick wall of a nearby shop when Louis rounded the corner. His curls had fallen in front of his face as he looked down at his hands, picking at his nails nervously. Louis noted the tears of skin and newly formed small red lines of blood around the edges of most of his fingernails that Harry had ripped in recent moments of worry, and he frowned and the thought that me might be the one causing Harry to do that.

As he approached, he expected Harry to look up at any moment and see him like he usually did, as if instinctively noticing the change in atmosphere whenever he was around. But he never did. It was like all of their old traditions and memories had just been crushed and obliterated for good. Louis hardly even knew who Harry was any more.

Louis stood awkwardly by Harry’s side for a moment, waiting for him to turn his head and notice him.

No such luck. Harry wasn’t going to see him any time soon, so he took it upon himself to get Harry’s attention in his own way; he let out a quiet “Hey.”

His voice had come out a lot more choked and uneven than he had hoped it would, and he inwardly cursed himself for sounding so vulnerable in front of Harry at a time like this. For a second Louis thought that his greeting might have been too quiet for Harry to even hear in the first place.

But then Harry whipped his head around, curls flying everywhere, and Louis noticed that his eyes had a red tinge to them at the corners and were weighted down by dark bags, stripping the usually glistening orbs of any brightness that they usually possessed. They looked dark, distant, saddened.

"I didn’t think you would come." It was Harry’s turn to be nervous and regretful now, Louis thought, as he remembered back to the similar event a few weeks ago when it had been him who insinuated the meeting after days of dreaded distance between them.

Louis didn’t reply, mirroring Harry’s response when he had asked that same question.

Harry began again, “Look, I really don’t know what happened on Saturday night and I -“

"Harry, if you’re just going to apologise again with empty words that mean nothing to you, then I’m not interested, okay? I’m done, I can’t deal with all this shit in my life right now so give me a call when you make up your mind about me… about us." Louis turned on his heel and started off in the opposite direction.

"Louis, please." Harry grabbed Louis by his arm firmly to keep him in his place and stop him from leaving, clearly having something important that he wanted to say. Louis didn’t care, though, he fought to get away with no such luck, Harry was clearly a lot stronger than him so he was already set up for defeat before the battle had even really begun.

"Louis, It’s my fault you nearly got fucking run over the other night, will you please at least listen to what I have to say?!"

Louis didn’t know how Harry had found out, but it probably had something to do with Liam and his mother’s inability to keep anything to herself.

"Alright, fine!" Louis snapped back, turning to face Harry with his arm still being held firmly in place. "You’ve got me here stuck in your grasp so tell me, tell me everything."

"Louis," Harry began instantly, shaking his head a little, his voice already a lot calmer than it had been only moments before, "you’ve got to believe me when I say that I am sorry. I know it’s just a word, it’s pathetic and it’s overused so much that it is flattened into the ground and walked over every single day, but it really is the only word I can think of to describe what I am feeling right now. Just completely, utterly and sincerely sorry."

Louis tried to reply but was cut short by Harry’s voice again. “I know now that I should have just said no to Zayn. I should have just told him I wasn’t interested, even though right from the start I never intended for things to get that out of hand. I never wanted to cause you that much stress, Louis, that much pain. It absolutely kills me and breaks my heart to think that you could have…” His voice trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

"I want you to know that nothing happened with Caroline."

So that was her name? - Louis scoffed and rolled his eyes as if to doubtfully say “Yeah, of course it didn’t.”

"I swear to god, Lou." Harry grabbed Louis by both sides of his face, gazing deep into his eyes that were looking anywhere but at his own. "I ran out of that room just as fast as we ran in. I honestly have no idea what the fuck I was even thinking. But we didn’t do anything apart from dance." His eyes were welling up with tears and Louis considered for a moment that he just might have been telling the truth.

Louis shifted his weight onto the other foot, signalling for Harry to continue.

"Just, please Louis, you know how much of an impact you have had on my life, how important you are to me now. Walking away from you would be impossible and I understand if you’re not going to forgive me after fucking up our - what could be - perfect relationship, so many countless times. But I can’t leave you, Louis, not now. Not that easily."

Louis drew a shaky breath, closing his eyes lightly. The sincerity behind Harry’s words seemed so real, so honest that he was almost completely sure that he was telling the truth.

He wanted to forgive Harry, he really did, and he knew that his burning desire to be with him and hold him and to be completely his would probably let him, but he didn’t know if his brain would agree.

He closed his eyes briefly and took a few shaky breaths.  
"There’s only so much forgiving and running back to you that I can do, Harry."

He noticed the way that Harry’s forehead tightened, and as a single tear spilled down his left cheek he made no attempt to cover it up as he began to nod his head slowly, accepting his fate as he once again began to pull the skin off his nails.

Louis reached out his hand and wiped the tear from his boyfriend’s face with the pad of his thumb, his other hand pulling Harry’s own palms away from each other to stop his bad habit. “But…”

Harry looked up desperately, a glimmer of hope shining through his still sorrow laden eyes as Louis’ hand had now moved to cup his chin, and interlace their fingers with his other.

"I think I can do a little bit more."

Harry fell into Louis’ arms instantly, spreading himself over every inch of the perfectness of Louis Tomlinson that he could cover. He forced their lips together - even though neither of them were really trying to reject - until Louis pulled away when he tasted the salty wetness of tears soaking into his lips.

Although Harry was taller and bigger than him, he somehow seemed so small and fragile in that moment, glancing up at Louis from between his arms where his head was rested on his chest like he was the love of his life. His eyes that had before seemed so dark and empty were now glistening brightly again, but slightly foggy as his cheeks were wet with tears.

"Hazza, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?" Louis was quick to wipe away every single tear from his boyfriend’s face, as if trying not to waste any of the precious liquid and stopping any more than necessary from falling.

"I just… I… Don’t worry, it’s fine, really." Harry shook his head and started to move away, "I’m just being stupid." But Louis tightened his arms around him, forcing him to stay in his embrace. 

"Harry have I done something wrong?" Louis blurted out suddenly. He cursed himself for the bluntness of his words but the question had been lingering in his mind since last Monday when Harry had first started acting differently around him, and he simply had to get it off his chest before it ate away at him - and what better time than the present?

"What? N-no, of course not." Harry’s reply was the most incredibly unconvincing argument Louis had ever heard, which of course lead him to believe the exact opposite of his words.

"Are you sure? Harry if I’ve done something wrong, please tell me, because it was honestly completely unintentional and I am so, so sorry for whatever it is. I never meant to hurt you or make you sad or any of that. So please, let me know if I have done something wrong so that I can fix whatever it is because I never, ever want to make you feel like that.” Louis didn’t even care that he was babbling.

"No, it’s just…" Harry bit his lip and Louis could tell by the way that his forehead crinkled and his eyes glistened with something other than their usual cheeky atmosphere as they roamed over his chest, that he was about to spill out everything that had been lurking in his thoughts for the past week or so.

"You’re the first person I’ve ever felt like this with." Harry looked up and made eye contact as he spoke and that’s what this was about? 

That was the reason Harry was trying to distance himself from Louis? Because he was scared of his own god damn intense emotions for him?

Louis felt something in his chest that he didn’t really understand, but he suddenly felt closer to Harry than he ever had before and he fell even a little more in love with him in that moment, if that was even possible any more. And he certainly wasn’t complaining. 

"Really, I don’t even know how to explain it coherently but it’s like… like I’m invincible whenever I’m with you, I feel like I can run around the whole perimeter of the earth twice or catch the moon or… or fly, I don’t know. I sound stupid, what am I twelve? But it’s true, you make me feel amazing, just so fucking fantastic. Every time you’re near my emotions just go crazy and I can’t even keep track of my mind." Harry had started smiling to himself by now, off in his own little world of Louis-induced happiness.

"As long as I have lived I’ve never felt this way about anyone else, and it kinda scares me to realise how important you are to me now, Louis, and how much I care about you. Actually no, it really scares me. I honestly just get so scared that I’m so dependant on another person sometimes. But then I realise, that person is you, and I know you’ll always be there to catch me when I fall. You’ll always be there to make things better again.” He was lost in his own little world, rambling on about everything he was feeling and completely oblivious as to how much it was affecting the boy in front of him.

Louis didn’t deny the smile that tugged at his lips, he didn’t even try to deny the warm tears of happiness that started to well up in his eyes at the curly haired lad’s words.

"I’ve never felt like this before Louis, really, so I mean it when I say that…" He paused for a moment, unsure of whether or not to go on. But then he made eye contact with Louis again and saw the way he was looking so hopefully at him, his eyes full of love, and words were spilling out of him once more with not even the slightest of regrets.

"I love you, Louis. I, Harry Styles, love you, Louis Tomlinson… I love you. No other words can even compare as to how I feel about you any more." 

Louis smiled as he pushed a stray curl from Harry’s love-filled green eyes that were staring deep into his own that he was sure were betraying him and exposing each and every one of his current emotions because Harry had finally said it back. 

"I love the way you babble on about nothing when you’re nervous." 

Harry grinned at him embarrassedly as he looked to the floor and tightened his grip around Louis’ body.

"I love you too, Harry." Louis’ angelic voice spoke out into the air and Harry once again locked their eyes together before capturing his lips in the most soft, delicate, yet passionate kiss either of them had ever experienced.

Harry’s lips tasted like strawberries as they moved gently against Louis’ own. Somewhere in the back of Louis’ head he filed this moment away as a kiss that he wanted to remember for the rest of his life.

It was that moment, with his lips pressed against Harry's and their arms tangled around each others bodies impossibly tight, that Louis could have spent the rest of his life in. And it scared him, the fact that this boy, whom he had tried to remove from his life as much as humanly possible, was now all of a sudden inserting himself into Louis' life as much as possible.

But what scared him even more, was how much he needed it.


	9. Chapter 9

"I dunno man, I heard he was pretty out of it."

"So? I watched the whole thing from my bedroom window, he was fucking smiling like a maniac! He definitely tried to kill himself."

"Why would Louis Tomlinson want to kill himself?"

The boy shrugged, “I dunno, ‘cause he’s gay.”

"C’mon, that’s a pretty big assumption to-"

"I’m not assuming anything! I don’t need to; I watched him - with my own two eyes - spread his arms out and smile at the car coming straight for him. It was at least 10 metres away when he first saw it, he had plenty of time to move."

Louis barged through the group of gossiping students and purposefully shoved his shoulder against the back of the accusing boy’s as hard as he could, overtaking the pack in step and storming off in front of them to ensure they had seen him and knew who he was, leaving them speechless and a little embarrassed as they glanced sideward at each other.

As it had turned out, Louis’ little “accident” had just so happened to occur right outside the house of Aiden Grimshaw who had, just to his luck, for some unfathomable reason, taken it upon himself to spread the news all around the school.

Being the most talked about student in Hall Cross was a feeling that was quite foreign to Louis. Usually he was quite happy to simply fly under the radar and get through his school life relatively unnoticed. The only time this was untrue was, of course, when he was in drama class, where he was constantly loud and flamboyant and whoever he wanted to be; free - but only once before had he been the conflict of interest to the rest of his school.

This, inevitably, was when he came out of the closet.  
A weird feeling of incomprehensible nostalgia overwhelmed Louis as he recalled the turn of events, and powered angrily ahead of the group. 

Louis was now only in his second class of the day, and already he had been subject to quite a number of accusatory glances and hushed conversations. On one particular occasion he had even been approached by the school counsellor, who had greeted him with a grin that was too wide and too cheerful and requested if he needed to “have a chat about anything that was bothering him”.

Shaking the overly friendly woman’s grip from his shoulder and dismissing the students whispering rumours, he tried his absolute best to forget about the whole mishap and just pray, with every inch of his body, that Liam was yet to hear about this.

It was no lie that he hadn’t exactly talked to Liam in quite a while, and for this he felt a little guilty. Liam was supposed to be his best friend, yet Louis couldn’t even recall the last time they had actually hung out, just the two of them. And with the doe eyed boy’s penchant for mothering and sensible ways, it was only natural and expected that he would worry about Louis, given their lack of contact recently, regardless of whether he knew about the car incident or not.

This prior knowledge of how his friend was bound to react to the situation didn’t seem to lighten the blow or decrease the irritation he felt when Liam actually voiced his concerns, however.

"Louis, hey, wait up!" 

Louis groaned audibly and slumped his head forward, defeated, when he heard his friend’s voice ring out from behind him. The situation was inevitable, really, Louis knew it was coming, he just hoped it wasn’t going to happen yet. Not when he was still unsure himself of what exactly happened on Saturday night.

He stopped walking but didn’t turn around, assuming that Liam would catch up regardless of whether or not he had Louis’ approval.

"Hey Li" Louis grumbled and began walking again when he felt his friends presence beside him. "What’s up?"

"Um, not much… I just, ah…" Great. He knew. Liam had always been shit at hiding anything to do with his feelings, especially when he knew something big.

"You just what?"

"Nothing, um. Listen, are you okay… and everything? I mean…"

"Yes, Liam, I am perfectly fine. And before you bring it up I am already aware of the rumours spreading about me and no, they are most definitely not true.”

Liam just glanced at him sideways with an unsure glint in his eyes and his mouth twisted to the side slightly. Did he not believe him? Why would Louis lie about that? He grumbled at how stubborn and sceptical Liam was being about the situation. 

"It’s okay Louis, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t feel up to it, just know that I’m here, okay?"

Louis just huffed with annoyance and picked up his pace a little. Liam was quick to follow suit.

"Louis I want to ask you something."

"What?" He snapped a little harsher than necessary, but didn’t really seem too bothered with himself afterwards.

"Has Harry been… threatening you?"

Louis just stopped dead in his tracks and spun to face his mate, mouth slightly agape and brow furrowed as he stared at Liam bewilderingly.

"Where on Earth did you get that idea?” Was all he could think to reply because really, Liam couldn’t be more incorrect right now. If anything, this was the least Harry had ever threatened him in his life.

"Well," Liam began, still unconvinced by Louis’ argument, "on Saturday night, he was looking for you and-"

"He was looking for me?" Louis instantly perked up and stared interestedly at his friend.

"Yeah, but-"

"When?"

"Um, just a little after you left. Why?"

"Uh… No reason." Louis tried acting casual and began walking again, this time much slower, his head cocked to the side as he listened and thought at the same time.

"Well as I was saying, he was looking for you and then he got all angry and mad when he found out you had left and then-"

"He got angry?"

"Yes, Louis." Liam furrowed his brow a bit confusion as he turned his head to look at the caramel haired boy as he walked.

Louis’ eyes danced about inside his head as if he was considering something unbeknownst to Liam before he nodded slowly, prompting him to continue.

"Well he went to go look for you-"

"He came looking for me?"

"YES Louis! Why does that matter? You’re acting strange!"

"Oh, it… it doesn’t matter. Please continue." He shook his head.

"So he went to go look for you and then he comes back later acting all weird, and then the next thing I know there’s rumours of you supposedly getting nearly hit by a car."

Louis didn’t respond to that, he didn’t know what to say, but there was also the realisation of the fact that Harry actually went looking for him swirling through his mind and disabling his ability to think of a response. Naturally, Liam took Louis’ silence into consideration and automatically assumed the worst.

"I’m sorry if I’m overreacting or making a big deal out of nothing but I’m just putting two and two together here; Harry disappears from a party then comes back in such a weird mood and then… then you try and get run over I mean-"

"Liam I-"

"Louis if Harry’s… I don’t know… threatening you or, bullying you or anything, you can tell me. You know that, right? I know I’m friends with Harry but I’m better friends with you, and I would never tell him anything you didn’t want me to. I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide something like that from me. We’ve been best friends for years and I-"

"Liam!" Louis snapped, ceasing the kind faced boy’s pointless babble more abruptly than he expected he would, suddenly feeling a lot angrier than he already was. "You’ve never given a shit about Harry beating me up before so what’s made you suddenly care now?" He was shouting now, glaring face-to-face at Liam and people walking by were starting to watch and point at them, expecting a fight.

Liam just shook his head with shocked disbelief, completely unaware of the boy’s pent up rage regarding the topic. Louis scoffed at his complete and utter oblivion and turned to walk away, unable to fight with him any more, much to the onlookers disappointment. He was in no mood to deal with this right now.

"Louis that’s not fair." Liam called out after him and traced his steps, but his tone wasn’t pleading or whiny, instead it was firm and almost a little determined. "I never knew that what Harry was doing to you was this serious, I didn’t know he made you want to…" Liam’s voice cracked and faltered a little as he paused, "end your own life."

"For God’s sake Liam!" He spun around on his heel, causing the doe eyed boy who had been chasing him desperately to halt suddenly, nearly running into him, "Harry isn’t the reason I nearly killed myself!"

"So you did try to kill yourself?" There was a clearly evident change in his tone, as if he was finally hearing what he wanted to. What he needed to.

"What? No! I didn’t mean… Argh, you’re impossible!" Louis was trying to sound angry but he could hear the strain noticeable in his own voice, and he tried desperately to hide the tears that he knew were welling up in his eyes as he turned and walked away as fast as he could.

Liam didn’t follow him that time. Instead he just stood still where Louis had left him, confused, worried and ever so slightly hurt.

~*~

"Everyone thinks I tried to kill myself." Louis whined into Harry’s shoulder from the passenger seat in his car on Saturday morning, leaning across the gear stick between their seats to nuzzle his face into his boyfriend’s neck.

This was the first chance they had to see each other since they made up on Monday, due both of them being too unfortunately busy - Louis with a copious amount of studying considering the upcoming end of term exams and Harry with excessive football practice - so this was the first time Louis had been able to speak openly about his problems.

The possibility of explaining himself over the phone simply wasn’t an option; Louis knew he wouldn’t be able to fathom just the right words to say when speaking through a receiver, so he waited the painful five days until he could see his boyfriend again to tell him face-to-face, and hopefully receive a comforting cuddle and kiss.

But when the words leave Louis’ mouth and hang in the air with anticipation, Harry doesn’t respond in the way Louis had hoped or expected, instead he just goes all sort of weirdly quiet and squeezes his knee with one massive hand reassuringly, and for a moment Louis thinks that’s the only response he’s going to get.

"I wan’t to show you something." He eventually speaks, and Louis realises that’s the first time Harry’s spoken since he got in his car - which was rather sleek and impressive, to be honest.

"Harry we’re having a crisis here!" Louis cried at Harry’s lack of interest in and response to his issue.

"Trust me." Is all Harry replies with before he moves his hand and interlocks their fingers in Louis’ lap. He turns the steering wheel and veers off into a direction Louis doesn’t think he’s ever travelled in before, but he doesn’t mind, because he’s with Harry, and everything is always an adventure when they’re together.

When the car pulls up and slows down beside a forest, Louis suddenly snaps out of his daydream of nothingness that he’s not sure exactly how long he has been in, and takes in his surroundings. He noticed suddenly that the two of them had been silent for the entire car ride and hoped that Harry hadn’t tried to make conversation when he was in his dream-like state. But he didn’t suspect so, given how quiet and weird Harry had been acting so far today.

"We’re here." Harry’s voice sounded uncertain, but when Louis turns to look at him there’s a weird sort of look of something like pride on his face, so he doesn’t really let it bother him.

As he steps out of the car he takes in his surroundings, everything seems sort of strangely familiar and comforting, like he’s been here before, but he can’t be sure why.

Instead of questioning Harry of their whereabouts, Louis simply allows him to press his hand into his own and lead him deep into the mass of trees before him, silently hoping that the curly haired boy knows where he is going.

Louis isn’t sure exactly how long they had been walking for and momentarily gets a little concerned by the darkness that has suddenly swallowed them due to the thickening of the trees as they travelled deeper into the forest. But he doesn’t announce his thoughts because Harry’s presence is right beside him and it’s too comforting and too reassuring to make him feel threatened at all.

"This is it." Harry’s tone is flat but his fingers are still wrapped tightly around Louis’ so he doesn’t worry too much about him being angry or upset, at least with him anyway, and Louis glances up to take in his surroundings once more.

A shiver swiftly rippled through Louis’ body as he took in the large expanse of water and the impeccably high cliff that had now appeared below him, and a dawn of realisation suddenly comes through his mind as his eyes drink in the view; this is the exact place he dreamt about last week in his haze.

The cliff and nearly everything else about the area looks almost exactly the same as the one from his dream, only where the ocean should be there is a large lake surrounded by more dense forest and everything is far less glistening and spectacular. Yet - in some weird sense - somehow more so because this time he is actually standing here and he is really breathing in the fresh air and the earthy scent and it’s real and he’s with Harry.

For a small moment Louis stupidly thinks that he might have predicted the future, but then he recalled the events of his dream and he shakes that ridiculous thought from his mind as quickly as it came and promptly replies when he realises he’s been silent and staring at the amazing view for far too long.

"We…" Louis let his voice trail off, uncertain of exactly how to finish his sentence without sounding weird or crazy.

"I had a dream about this place once."

Harry raised his eyebrows and turned to look at him. “Really?” Surprise was evident in his voice. “What happened?”

Louis stared out at the rippling water for a moment, not sure if he should tell Harry the truth.

His mouth opened, ready to respond, but the words about to flow from his lips were just as much a mystery to him as they were to Harry.

"We jumped."

Harry didn’t flinch at the answer like he expected him to, he didn’t even seem all that surprised by the response as he looked across and connected his eyes with Louis’ again for a brief moment, before moving them back out to settle on the horizon once more.

He was quiet for a minute, and Louis watched as his eyes flickered inside his head, witnessing a flash of memories set out in front of his vision that were visible only to him, and he wondered what was going through the boy’s head.

"I’ve thought about it before." 

"What?" Louis’ eyes grew wide in disbelief and horror because surely he had just misheard Harry.

"I came pretty close to it once." Harry simply shrugged when he saw Louis’ terrified expression, trying to remain nonchalant, but his façade was slowly crumbling into a million pieces all around him, exposing his insecurities and lack of confidence unashamedly to Louis. "It was a while ago."

"Harry that doesn’t make it any less terrifying!"

"I know…" Harry looked at his feet. "I just… I was scared and lonely and I didn’t know what else to do. I had a lot of shit to deal with at the time."

"Like what?"

Harry just shrugged again and Louis thought for a moment that must be all Harry could remember how to do. But he looked so small and fragile in that moment and the palm of his hand tingled a little as he just itched and longed to simply reach forward and enclose his body around his and squeeze him comfortingly in his arms, impossibly close, and whisper in his ear that he loves him and that everything was going to be alright. That he’s there for him and will do anything and everything he can to make him happy.

"It was around the time I figured out I was gay. Not that that was the reason why I wanted to, erm…” He didn’t finish his words and instead ended the sentence with the beginning of another, “I had finally come to terms with the fact that I… I liked guys and, I thought that I was ready to tell my family, I even came up with a plan of how I was going to do it.” He smiled crookedly and shook his head to himself a little as he recalled the previous events of his life.

"So why didn’t you?"

"My parents got divorced."

"Oh…"

"Mum was suddenly stressing about paying the divorce bills and finding a place to move to and so many other things, the last thing I wanted her to have to deal with was the finding out the fact that her son was gay.”

"Harry-"

"I thought that maybe it had been a sign; some sort of sadistic warning not to come out because I wouldn’t get accepted and everyone would hate me… and then I told Gemma just to see how she would take it… her reaction was the furthest thing from what I was hoping for. It’s really not her fault, she just confirmed to me the fact that I was never going to tell anyone, not yet anyway."

Harry sighed deeply. “But I got sick of pretending, Louis, sick of hiding who I really was. I just thought to myself, if I can’t come out now, maybe I never can? Maybe everything would just be easier if I just didn’t exist any more, if I were dead…”

Louis’ chest was tight and he could feel his breath catching in his throat at every inhaling of air that he took and tried to desperately even out. This was clearly the first time Harry had ever told anyone such a dark secret, so Louis listened quietly as Harry told him everything, trying to ignore the feelings swirling around inside him as all he wanted to do was just hold Harry or stroke his face or just do something to stop him from looking so sad and broken.

"But that’s the easy way out, isn’t it? Killing yourself and ending everything instead of facing the problems that are troubling you. So I didn’t jump, I just stood here - right there" He pointed to a particular spot on the edge of the cliff, "and stared at the rocks for what would have been hours." Harry couldn’t make eye contact with him, instead resorting to pulling at the skin around his fingernails again.

Louis was crying now. Or, pretty close to it anyway judging from the way that his eyebrows felt much too tight and he couldn’t see properly through the sheet of tears in front of his eyes and his throat felt thick, like it might break spontaneously into a sob at any given moment.

"I’ve never told anyone that before." Harry paused for a moment. "Actually, I’ve never even brought anyone up here before." He looked out across the horizon for a moment as if to remind himself of his whereabouts, before looking back at Louis to gauge his reaction.

His face was white and broken as he drew his bottom lip into his mouth and began to shake slightly, trying to stifle his sobs and be strong for Harry, be the person he could come to for help and comfort that he so clearly needed, not the other way around, like it was right now.

Harry quickly closed the short space between them and held Louis in his strong arms. The embrace was supposed to be comforting, but if anything Louis had to try even harder not to cry than he had been before.

"Lou bear, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have told you that, I… I’m fine now, you don’t have to worry. I didn’t mean to make you upset."

"Of course I’m going to be upset Harry, you nearly killed yourself!"

"So did you."

Louis looked up from Harry’s arms, a mix of emotions swirling through his own face as he made to pull away from his grip. But Harry was too strong.

"You don’t seriously believe that do you? Fuck, you’re just like everyone else." He shook his head and squirmed desperately trying to get away. 

"You could have easily jumped out of the way, I’ve heard the stories."

"I was drunk, I didn’t know what was happening." He shook his caramel coloured locks around his face again. Louis knew that he easily could have jumped out of the way of the oncoming car, so why hadn’t he? He didn’t know, but he was really in no position to deny Harry’s accusations.

"You can’t use alcohol as the excuse, Louis."

"Why didn’t you jump?" Louis cringed at how quickly he insinuated subject change, but he was simultaneously voicing the question that had been nagging at the back of his brain, and taking the attention away from himself for a brief moment.

Harry shrugged. “Why didn’t you move.”

"Because I heard your voice." 

He spat the words out much too quickly and they fell into his eardrums before he even had time to properly gauge what Harry had asked him, and he immediately regretted his confession as soon as it replayed in his head. But it was too late to go back now.

"You what?" Harry was visibly startled.

"I heard your voice calling me as the car got closer… I don’t know." Louis looked anywhere but at Harry, because he was trying to be angry at him and stand his ground but he knew, he knew that just a single look in those bright green eyes would change everything and he would explode into a ball of a sobbing mess inside the boy’s strong arms.

"The lights were so bright, I thought they could take me to you, and I was just angry and upset and all I wanted was you, but there was no way I could have you in that moment and I thought you would never even want me again anyway and then suddenly there was this car coming straight for me and it was all so bright and so easy to just end everything so I just… didn’t move." 

Harry dived forward and kissed Louis deeply then, and it was somewhat strange because neither of them really thought of the moment as particularly romantic, but it fit, and it lasted for longer than it had really felt like it was to both of them and by the time they pulled away, they were both crying. Their faces sticky with salty tears.

"I’m so sorry, Lou." Harry bit his bottom lip and shook his head a little, his eyebrows knotted together with worry. "I never meant for you to feel like that, really, I’m just so, so sorry baby I… I’m just so worried about you now."

“You’re worried about me?" Louis raised his eyebrows at him.

"Harry I… Please, just promise me you won’t try something like that ever again, don’t even think about it Haz, okay?" He gestured to the cliff and held him tightly in an embrace, as if worried that he might break away and fling himself into the depths in some spontaneous moment.

"I don’t need to any more." Harry brushed Louis’ cheek with the pad of his thumb and smiled at the confused way his boyfriend was looking up at him with his unbelievably blue eyes.

"Why not? I mean, good… That’s fucking excellent and I’m glad, well more than glad I’m… bloody ecstatic but, why? What changed?"

Harry smiled at him knowingly and moved to dangle his arms limply around Louis’ neck.

"I found you."

Louis flung himself at Harry and smothered him with a kiss that was probably a bit too deep and a bit too passionate to match the situation. But he didn’t care. He just loved Harry so fucking much.

How could he mean so much to someone? Boring, awkward Louis Tomlinson from Doncaster who was an acting fanatic with a penchant for wearing stripes. Being so important to someone, anyone, scared him to the point that he felt almost nauseous. He suddenly felt the overwhelming pressure that he had to live up to certain expectations and satisfy Harry and not let him down, because letting him down meant upsetting him, and upsetting him could lead to any number of things. Like losing him.

But then he realised, of course, it was Harry, not any of the other meaningless, self-centred boys that he had ever been with before. He could be himself around Harry, and crack dumb jokes around Harry and dress in nothing but track pants while dancing around and singing in Harry’s kitchen to songs by The Script with the curly haired idiot and he would still love him.

"You’re such a sap sometimes, Harry." Louis grinned at him as he pulled away to stare into his eyes.

"Hey!" Harry spoke with mock hurt, "I’m trying to be serious about my feelings and shit!"

Louis just shook his head and giggled, “Shit I love you” before kissing him again and smiling as he did so.

~*~

"Harry are you sure you want to do this? We could get caught…" Louis’ voice was apprehensive, uneasy.

"If I wasn’t sure I never would have offered! Everyone from our school is at that baseball game anyway, so we don’t have to worry about being seen."

"Exactly! Everyone will be coming back here soon for a post-game milkshake, it’s practically the school’s most popular hangout! We’ll get seen for sure."

"The game doesn’t finish for another twenty minutes, Louis! Now come on!" And with that, Harry shut the door to his car and moved to the side walk to wait for his boyfriend expectantly. 

Louis groaned audibly and pulled himself from the seclusion of Harry’s darkly-window-tinted car and joined his boyfriend on the street. When he felt Harry’s hand grab his own, his first instinct was to curl his fingers around his palm without a second thought. But then he started to freak out a little when he remembered how public andexposed they were right now.

"Harry someone’s going to see us, I know it."

Harry only sighed a little, “Would you calm down? It’s okay, I promise.”

Then Harry was nuzzling his head into the crook of Louis’ neck and he had no choice but to no longer feel the need to disagree.

The pair took a few steps down the pathway in the direction of Milkshake City and with every step, Louis heart rate sped up by 100%, his eyes flickering about the mildly busy street frantically. The coast was clear, for now.

They both noticed the unavoidable odd looks they were were receiving from all angles as they walked hand-in-hand down the street, and for a minute or two Louis felt uncertain, and almost embarrassed by their close proximity. He realised that this was the first time they had ever really gone out in public together as couple, and in more ways than one it was comforting to know what it felt like to not have to hide his love for the curly haired lad, and to be able to show signs of affection that weren’t behind closed doors or in an empty corridor. But some passers-by were just looking at them with such disgust and it made Louis unsure, and somewhat nervous.

As if reading his thoughts, which he was almost certain Harry could do now, he squeezed his hand reassuringly and swooped in to kiss him on the cheek and suddenly, all of Louis’ doubts evaporated and he honestly couldn’t care less who could see them any more. Not when Harry’s lips were so soft on his skin and his hand was large enough to wrap around his own almost entirely as their knot of fingers swung loosely between their bodies.

Harry pushed open the door of Milkshake City and stepped inside, Louis’ eyes automatically scanned the entire room for a familiar face, anyone that either of them knew or even slightly recognised.

And there it was. Shit. His eyes focused in on a head of scruffy blonde hair that belonged to none other than Niall Horan.

"Fuck, code red." Louis mumbled as he turned away from the accusing person, desperate not to be seen with Harry, and broke away from his boyfriends grasp instantly.

"Hmm?" Harry hummed as he glanced behind Louis, his previously unfazed eyes suddenly growing wide. "Oh shit."

"What do we do Harry?! Fuck fuck fuck, I knew this was a bad idea." Louis was starting to panic and flapping his arms about in worry the way a flightless bird might.

"Um, shit, just go sit down somewhere, I’ll be over as soon as he leaves, okay?"

Louis nodded and quickly obliged, disappearing into one of the booths in the far back corner of the room.

It wasn’t long before Niall noticed Harry in the shop and approached him with a boisterous clap on the shoulder, that was so heavy it made him nearly lose his balance. He couldn’t exactly make out their conversation from his distance across the room, but they were laughing happily about something and Louis smiled at his boyfriend and made a mental note of how pearly and beautiful he thought Harry’s teeth were as he threw his head back, grinning gleefully.

Louis was half waiting for Niall to leave and Harry to finally come over and join him on their date once more, but when the girl working behind the counter hands him only one milkshake and Niall’s still around and then he walks out of the building next to him, he knows that Harry’s definitely not coming back. Harry shoots him an apologetic look over his shoulder when he thinks Niall isn’t looking and mouths the words “I’m sorry” with an apologetic look and presses his teeth into his bottom lip. Louis thinks it doesn’t quite suffice as a goodbye kiss at his front door but, sadly, it’ll have to do.

He waits for a few moments before getting up to leave. He knows that Harry isn’t coming back so he isn’t really waiting for any given reason in particular, but he can’t find it in himself to get up just yet. So Louis just sits and reflects on everything that has happened today, from the way Harry kissed his cheek and held his hand in public for the first time, to the deep, dark secrets he had discovered about him at the cliff.

One thing Louis knew for certain was that if anything, he only loved Harry even more now - if that was even possible - and he felt himself worry slightly at the knowledge of how attached he had become.

But he didn’t care, not really. Not when it was Harry that he was attached to.

Just as Louis walks out from the comfort of the shop, he feels a light vibration in his back pocket and pulls his phone out hurriedly, definitely not hoping to see Harry’s name flash up on the screen. Or so he tells himself.

To: Louis  
From: Harry  
I’m so sorry, Niall insisted that I went back to his place to chill with him and Zayn, said it’d been far too long or something. I hope I didn’t leave you stranded, I’ll make it up to you, I promise .x” 

Louis slipped his phone back into his pocket and sighed sadly as he made his way away from the store. He walked to the bus stop slowly and feeling sorry for himself, sad and disappointed because he understands, 

he just doesn’t like it.


	10. Chapter 10

When Harry said he was going to make it up to Louis, he wasn’t lying or bluffing.

Louis had been wallowing in his misery the entire bus ride home from his prematurely ended date with Harry, and he had decided was definitely in no mood to face his four constantly excited, hyperactive little sisters.

Thankfully, the house was empty when he got home and a note left by his mother informed him that they wouldn’t be back until around 7pm, which left Louis four hours to do whatever the hell he wanted. The times when he had the house to himself was one of the boys’ most treasured moments. Call him weird, sure, but with a house full of girls that shrieked and giggled and ran about constantly, you couldn’t blame him for appreciating a bit of time to himself. It wasn’t often that he was the only one home.

So far two hours had passed, and already Louis was bored beyond comparison. Initially, he had planned to just relax and watch television and do absolutely nothing, for once. This proved to be a little difficult, however, when he couldn’t even concentrate on an episode of FRIENDS without those stupid curls and those stupid bright green eyes continuing to creep their way back into his mind.

He longed for something, anything, that would distract him and take his mind off the thoughts swirling about his head. Harry, Harry’s curls, Harry’s eyes, Harry held my hand in public today, Harry took me to his favourite place, Harry nearly killed himself, Which is stupid and heart-wrenching and I can’t believe it because Harry is beautiful and perfect in every single way and Harry Harry Harry.

Louis buried his face into the back of the couch and willed his brain to think of anything that didn’t involve the smell of chocolate brown curls or the sparkle of bright green eyes, or smooth, milky white skin that stretched over taught muscles that-

The sound of four quick knocks on the wood of the front door echoed through the whole house. Louis snapped his head up and stared in the direction of the noise, trying to make sure that he hadn’t been hearing things in his delirious state. But then the knocks sounded again, this time noticeably softer, meeker, and Louis leapt from the couch with an incredible velocity, thankful to finally have a distraction from thinking about nothing other than Harry.

What he hadn’t expected, however, was to open the door and see the very boy he had been thinking about all day standing on the other side, a look in his eye as if he just knew that Louis had been obsessing over him ever since he left him in Milkshake City earlier that afternoon.

"Harry?" Louis cocked his head in confusion, noticing with pleasure how present and close and touchable Harry actually was right now. He wasn’t just a figment of Louis imagination that he had conjured up due to his desperate craving to be in the boys’ arms once again.

Harry chuckled, “Don’t look so happy to see me, Lou.”

"Oh I- I’m sorry I… I mean, Harry!" Louis wasn’t nervous (or was he?), but the shock - and delight - of seeing Harry suddenly in front of him when he was literally all he had been thinking about for the past couple of hours made his mind unable to string more than two coherent words together into a sentence.

He flung himself at Harry and squeezed his lean body against his own, breathing in the fruity scent of his curls that contrasted, but still seemed to fit so well, with the musky smell of his aftershave.

"What are you doing here?" Louis finally breathed out when he released him from his embrace.

"If you really don’t want to see me that badly I’ll just leave." Harry’s voice was laced with mock hurt but he was smiling and his eyes were glistening just like they had been earlier that day.

Louis just nuzzled his head into the crook of Harry’s neck that was covered with curls that tickled his nose as he did so, and stroked his bicep as if to say “you know what I mean.” And he did know.

"Well I promised that I would make it up to you, didn’t I?" He spun Louis around to look at him, holding him by the elbows. Suddenly his expression changed and he frowned a little and his eyes looked… somewhat panicky."I didn’t mean to just invite myself for a sleepover without asking, or anything, but… I brought a movie and I thought maybe we could-"

Louis silenced his boyfriend with a kiss on the lips, and he felt Harry’s mouth curve up into a smile as he did so. He loved spontaneous kisses like this.

When he finally pulled back, Harry was flushed and a little flustered and he couldn’t stop smiling, despite how completely desperate he was to hide it from the smaller boy.

"Of course you can stay the night, Harry."

Harry grinned even more before his brow furrowed slightly again, “Will your mum mind? I mean does she think…”

"She knows, Harry."

Even though Louis had never explicitly told his mother that he an Harry were together, he just assumed that she had somehow figured it out along the way. Considering her uncanny ability to know things about her son without him specifically mentioning anything, and the fact that he wasn’t really going to too much effort trying to hide it from her, this probably wasn’t a very big assumption for Louis to make.

"Will she, I dunno, be weird about it then? If I stay over, I mean."

Louis shrugged and trailed a hand down Harry’s chest, his eyes following it. “She gets home in two hours, so we have at least until then to have some fun.”

Harry’s only reply was a small chuckle, approving of the sudden turn in mood of the situation, as he stepped through the door to kiss his boyfriend again, this time more deeply as he held his chin upwards between his thumb and forefinger. He closed the door behind him with his foot, haphazardly dropping his overnight bag somewhere on the floor.

~*~

The two of them didn’t waste any time the moment the door was closed and they were away from the prying eyes of anyone who might be walking past.

Harry had staggered backwards and had Louis pressed up against the wall under his body, his legs wrapped around his waist. Louis’ shirt had long ago been forgotten and strewn to the floor, and Harry frantically tore at his own and flung it to the tiles without a second thought, diving forward again to attach his lips to Louis’ neck. 

Harry made his way up the stairs, careful not to trip and send Louis flying, and made a big show of placing him down onto his bed, staring into his eyes romantically and crawling forwards like they do in movies.

"Sap." Louis giggled and pulled at one of Harry’s curls, watching it spring back again.

Harry just growled, diving forward to suck and bite at the skin above Louis’ collarbone with his teeth, leaving a dark purple splotch. “Am not.” He breathed onto his bare skin, and Louis was suddenly very aware of Harry’s bulge pressing down rhythmically onto his own, rapidly growing with the friction.

The curly haired boy rolled over, taking Louis with him as he did so, so that he was now straddling his hips, giving him better access to squeeze the boy’s plump arse cheeks and knead them and press them down onto his groin. Harry really had an affinity for Louis’ butt.

Taking full advantage of the new arrangement, Louis attacked his boyfriends neck and covered it with an array of bruises, suddenly feeling strangely jealous and possessive for no real reason. There really was no particular reason for his actions, other than the fact that he wanted Harry to remember that he was his, and no one else’s, just his.

Why exactly Louis was jealous, he couldn’t quite understand. He could conclude that neither Niall or Zayn were gay, or even bi-curious, and Harry definitely wasn’t interested in them. But the thought of him spending time with and laughing with and just being with anyone other than him made his insides bubble warm with envy. He wanted Harry all to himself.

He sucked especially hard at one particular spot on Harry’s neck and felt him moan under him as he did so. Louis smiled with satisfaction at the noise. Possessive Louis is the best Louis.

"Lou."

Fuck Harry’s voice was so beautiful and deep. Louis actually felt his dick fucking twitch at the keening sound of his own name leaving the beautiful boys mouth. He bit his own lip and stared down at Harry from under his thick eyelashes.

"Yeah Haz?"

"I want you inside me."

Louis felt his own eyes widen. “Wh- what? Are you sure? You always top, I thought…”

But there was no hesitation or unsure edge to Harry’s voice, so he knew he was being serious when he just nodded and nibbled at his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Okay. If it hurts or anything, don’t be afraid to tell me to stop, alright? I’ll understand, and it’s okay, I know how much it can hurt, trust me." He stressed the word ‘know’ for some unfathomable reason, and after he said it he couldn’t help but consider if it had really been necessary. He didn’t want Harry to think he was some kind of slut.

"It’s okay, Louis." The caramel haired boy seemed unsure but there was a look in Harry’s eye that made Louis think that it really would be okay, and then he realised.

"You’ve been practising, haven’t you?" He folded his arms over his bare chest and sat up, still straddling Harry’s body.

The embarrassment was visible in his face when Harry shrugged as best he could while laying down covered his face with his hands and replied. “Maybe a little.”

"Harold Edward Styles!" Louis teased, "You little slut."

"Don’t call me that!" Harry whined, squeezing Louis thighs.

"What? A slut?"

"No, the other thing."

"Harold?"

“Yeeeeeeessssss!” Harry whined like a little kid as he shut his eyes and moved his hands to squeeze Louis hip bones as he did so, drawing little circles with his thumbs.

"Well, Harold," There was an evident change of tone in Louis’ voice, and he traced patterns on Harry’s chest with one of his hands, "how about you show me just how good at receiving you really are, then?”

Harry snapped his eyes open and they glistened mischievously as he grinned up at Louis. He grabbed the back of his neck with one massive hand and pulled his head forward to crash his lips onto his own in one swift movement. 

Soon, both of their trousers and pants were removed and Louis was slicking up his fingers nervously.

It wasn’t the first time Louis had ever topped, - although he did prefer to bottom - he had fucked other guys and even a couple of girls in the past, (Louis thought “fucking” was an appropriate way to describe what he had done, because it had never really meant as much to him as it should have. Not until now, that is) but this was his first time ever topping with Harry, and it was the first time Harry would ever be a “bottom” to anyone.

The fact that he trusted Louis enough to let him be first was overwhelming, and seeing Harry sprawled out across his bed, legs apart and desperately awaiting his entrance, Louis’ heart beat a thousand times a minute.

Before too long, Harry announced that he was ready. That he needed Louis inside him now. So he complied, and after slicking himself up with a handful of lube, he was pushing deep inside Harry while staring straight into his eyes, trying to gauge any reaction of pain or discomfort.

But they were screwed tight shut.

Louis stilled for a moment inside him, giving Harry time to adjust to the new feeling - just like Harry had the first time they did this - and pulled out slowly when Harry moved his hips a little, before thrusting back in again, this time at a different angle.

After being a “bottom” for so long, Louis had somehow learned and perfected the ability to know exactly where and with what force and at what angle to thrust in order to have the other person reeling with pleasure underneath him. Apparently this worked, because as he plunged deep into Harry, he drew in a sharp breath and snapped his eyes open.

His bright green orbs were shining brighter than the stars at night, and Louis felt cheesy for comparing his eyes to stars, especially when he was so exposed to him right now, but he didn’t care. Not really. Because Harry’s eyes really were more beautiful than stars.

"You okay?" Louis moved closer and breathed out against Harry’s neck, watching as his skin rippled and milky white goosebumps formed.

"Brilliant." Was his only response, and Louis took this as a sign to continue, rolling his hips and picking up the pace as he moved in and out of his boyfriend.

He finished before Harry, spilling deep inside him with a shiver of pleasure rippling up his spine and filling his whole body with a wonderful feeling of ecstasy. Louis argued to himself that he was just so overwhelmed and ecstatic about being able to top Harry and actually be inside him, and that this was why he hadn’t lasted as long as he felt he possibly could.

When he removed himself from the other boy’s warm entrance, he was quick to fill it again with his fingers, not wanting the pleasure to drain from Harry’s body.

He bent down and teased Harry’s cock with his tongue, utilising all the tricks he had learnt over the past few months that he had grown to know by experience drove Harry absolutely crazy with pleasure. His fingers probed that sweet spot deep inside him as he moved his mouth up and down Harry’s length, swirling his tongue as he did so and letting the tip of his cock bump the back of his throat.

It didn’t take long for Harry to come after that, unsurprisingly, and Louis just swallowed like it wasn’t a big deal.

But it was to Harry.

He pulled him up by his arm so that Louis was laying on top of him.

"Thank you." He whispered, completely out of breath and still coming down from his high.

Louis shrugged. “Not a problem.”

"No, really," Harry cupped his cheek "that was amazing, thank you." So he kissed him deeply and passionately, disregarding the fact that he could taste himself on his lips because the taste of Louis was so much better than that.

They stayed like that for a few moments, entangled within the confines of each others limbs, their lips moving together delicately, not wanting to break the moment and the perfect seclusion of just them.

"Lou."

"Mm?"

"It’s eight o’clock."

"It is."

Harry paused, looking across at Louis.

"Your mum got home an hour ago."

Louis sat up abruptly in his bed, leaving Harry’s arms empty and cold and craving the warmth of Louis’ body. He looked out the window to see his mothers’ car already parked in the driveway and his heart beat a thousand times a minute. 

He completely disregarded the fact that they had been laying together for three fucking hours and suddenly remembered back to Harry’s bag strewn by the front door and both of their shirts that had been discarded somewhere by the bottom of the stairs.

"Shit."

"What’s wrong?"

"Our clothes." Louis turned to look at Harry, who’s eyes were now wide, his mouth agape slightly. 

"Oh no, she’s going to hate me. I’m so sorry, I-"

"She’s not going to hate you!" Louis punched him playfully, "It’s just a little disturbing to think that my mother knows that we just fucked in here."

"Made love." Harry corrected playfully, raising his eyebrows at his boyfriend and sitting up beside him.

"Of course, Harry dearest, we made love." Louis mocked, but pecked him on the lips nonetheless, and turned to get out of bed and pull on more suitable attire than just his pants, which he was currently wearing.

"I don’t think I can face her, Lou." Harry groaned as they were about to leave the privacy of the room.

"How do you think I feel? She’s my mother after all.”

And with that, Louis whisked the two of them out onto the landing and down the stairs. Noticing but trying desperately to disregard the fact that their shirts had been folded neatly and placed on the last step next to Harry’s overnight bag.

Jay greeted them in the kitchen with a pointed smirk. “Evening, boys.”

Harry groaned internally at her knowing look and managed to squeak out a “Hi Jay.” Louis mother had granted him the privilege of addressing her by her first name ever since Harry came to Louis’ house for the first time to apologise to him. She had taken an instant liking to the curly haired boy and insisted that he called her by her first name.

Louis looked at the ground embarrassedly and walked through the kitchen to sit at one of the stools. “Hey mum.”

"Are you staying the night, Harry?" Jay glanced at the boy who was now sitting beside Louis at the bench, a wooden spoon in her hand as she stirred something in a pot before her.

"Um, if that’s okay. I didn’t mean to impose, I-"

"Don’t be silly, Harry, of course it’s okay!" She turned back to look at the boy, but his eyes had already averted elsewhere. Louis had his chin propped up on his hands as he gazed sideways at Harry, a beaming close-lipped smile on his face. And Harry just grinned back down at him the exact same way.

Jay watched them and couldn’t help but notice the sparkle in both of their eyes as blue met green in a fantastic lock of gazes.

She smiled but quickly busied herself with preparing dinner and setting the table, not wanting to feel like she was intruding or ruining their special moment or anything. So she just left them to their own, only paying attention to the occasional chuckle or kissing sound as they discussed something about Milkshake City.

~*~

All throughout dinner, Louis and Harry literally couldn’t keep their hands off each other; thinking they were being subtle, but failing miserably.

They sat unnecessarily close to each other. To anyone else, this would have served as an inconvenience, their elbows constantly bumping or getting in each others way as they ate and reached across the table to fill their plates.

But not for Louis and Harry. Because they were a pair, they fit together perfectly. They moved together and knew what the other was going to do even before they did it.

They weren’t Louis-and-Harry.

They were LouisandHarry. Two people that seemed to mesh together into one.

And it definitely didn’t go unnoticed by Jay. Or any of Louis’ sisters that shot each other knowing smirks.

Neither did their legs that were tangled like pretzels under the table beneath them.

"Curly, are you my brothers boyfriend?" Daisy questioned innocently as Louis filled Harry’s glass for him.

He glanced at Louis, preparing himself to reply.

"Yeah! Are you two gonna get married?" Phoebe was quick to back up her twins’ question, bouncing excitedly in her seat as she did so.

Harry chuckled. “Maybe one day, girls.” His response earned an array of “awwww”s from all the girls in the room and a squeeze to his thigh from Louis - which definitely didn’t go unnoticed by Jay, either.

The stolen glances between the boys that would induce a small fit of giggles were copious. But all Jay could really think about was how happy her son looked - how happy both of them looked - to simply be in the company of each other.

Her insides bubbled and felt warm as she watched her son look at his boyfriend with what could only be described as heart eyes. He looked at him like he was his whole world and everything that was ever important to him.

Naturally, being his mother, she worried for him. But there was no denying how truly happy she was.

~*~

Much to both of the boys’ despair, they were unable to spend Sunday together in each others company given the fact that Louis had been rostered on for work, which earned a sarcastic “hooray” on his part.

So, incidentally, Harry left the Tomlinson house in the morning feeling warm and fuzzy despite the chilly weather, and a large grin on his face.

"See you tomorrow, Boo." Harry purred as he pecked his boyfriend on the lips, before clambering into his car and disappearing into the distance.

Louis sighed and watched Harry’s black range rover as it got smaller and smaller and further and further away, before he turned and closed the front door behind him.

Jay was waiting for him when he turned around, her arms were folded as she leant against the wall but she wasn’t angry or presumptive about anything. The sparkle in her eye made her seem somewhat happy, but Louis could tell that she had something serious to talk about.

"What’s up, mum?"

"You really like him don’t you." She was never one to beat around the bush, simply saying exactly what she was thinking. This, Louis was thankful for. Especially right now, him being in no mood to figure out any cryptic messages or lessons.

"Harry? Y-yeah. I do." Louis smiled to himself as he nodded, and glanced back up at his mother to gauge her reaction.

"I know, I can tell." She pushed up off the wall and moved closer to her son. "I just want you to be careful, okay?"

Louis knew she didn’t mean any harm by her words, but he couldn’t help but feel a little agitated at his mothers’ wariness towards Harry and his commitment to their relationship.

Everyone at school already doubted the fact that anything could be possible between the two of them, he didn’t need his mother making the same, or similar, assumptions.

"I’m not saying he’s a bad kid or anything, I’m really not because I like him and I know that you know I do. But just, be wary, and be careful. I don’t want him to hurt my little Boo Bear."

Boo Bear. That was Harry’s name for him. Well, technically it was his mums’ name for him but she hadn’t called him that in years and now Harry had adopted it and. well, it just seemed so natural to hear it in that deep, gravelly tone now. It was just odd to hear it in the tone of his mother.

It was still comforting nonetheless.

"Thanks, mum." Louis snaked his arms around her petite waist and squeezed tightly.

"Just know that you can talk to me if you ever need to, okay? I promise I’ll understand, or do my best to anyway." She chuckled at the last bit and placed a kiss into her sons hair.

He pulled away and smiled at her. “I know, but I won’t need to. Trust me.”

Jay nodded and smiled slightly. “As long as you know what you’re doing.”

"I do."

"Good, because I think you and Harry are really cute together!"

Louis rolled his eyes and breathed out as he smiled, “Thanks, mum.”

"Any time Boo, now go get ready for work. You’re going to be late!"

~*~

For what seemed like the first time in what could possibly be his entire life, Louis did not feel like he wanted to slam his head repeatedly into the cash register while at work.

Even his duty manager, who was usually a complete and utter idiot, noticed his rather perky mood. Commenting on his cheerfulness and waving a bony finger at him as he spoke - or rather, spat - “I dunno what’s got into ya, Tomlinson, but keep it up. The customers love it.”

And it was true, each and every customer that passed through Louis’ checkout left the store with a smile spread across their cheeks.

"I just can’t contain my boyish charm!" Louis joked in response, earning an odd look from his manager who turned and skulked away. But he was in too much of a good mood to care.

Louis had two conclusions for his rather jovial state; the first being that he had just spent the night with Harry (and shown him a little more of what he had to offer…) and woken up wrapped tightly in his arms, breathing in his constantly fruity scented curls. And the second, that his mother actually approved of Harry. No, to say that she approved would be an understatement. She liked Harry. She had even said that they made a cute couple!

He couldn’t decide which was a better option to explain why he was in such a good mood at work today, so he settled his internal battle in his mind by deciding that it was a mixture of the two.

It didn’t matter. Louis was just really fucking happy.


	11. Chapter 11

Louis groaned out loud as he let his head roll back onto the hard plastic of the too-small chair. He wasn’t entirely sure how he had been roped into this, winding up here, but he knew it had something to do with wanting to make his mother happy.

Despite his continuous protests that “I’m fine, mum, it’s all just rumours, honestly” she continued to worry excessively about her son. Unlike the students at Louis’ school however, Jay wasn’t concerned that Harry was the reason behind all of this, (this Louis was thankful for) however she still couldn’t help but create improbable scenarios in her head regarding his “accident”. So, unavoidably, Louis had ended up crammed into a stuffy office talking to the school counsellor about his feelings.

But if it meant his mum would stop nagging and worrying about him, so be it. He could put up with forty five minutes of this crap. Surely it wouldn’t be that difficult, right?

It was only moments later when she bustled into the small room, papers in hand and an unnecessarily wide grin on her face. “So sorry I’m late, Lewis!” She chimed as she collapsed into her chair on the other side of the desk, beaming at him.

"It’s Lou-ee." He grumbled at her without so much as making eye contact.

"Oh, my apologies Louis!" She giggled and set her array of papers and books in front of her. Why exactly a school counsellor required that much paperwork was beyond Louis’ mind; it’s not like she was exactly up to her neck in stressful work.

"S’okay" He less than mumbled in response, clearly not eager to begin what he knew was coming.

She wrinkled her nose and smiled at him. “My name is Mrs Willett. But you can call me Jen!”

Louis nodded and forced a half-hearted smile.

"So, how have you been feeling recently?" She began instantly, flipping her golden locks over her shoulder. Louis thought she looked much too young to have the qualifications necessary for the job.

"Alright."

"Anything you want to talk about specifically?"

"No."

"Nothing regarding last Saturday night, or anything of the sort?"

"Not particularly."

"Not particularly?"

"No."

"I see."

Louis didn’t respond, only closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths to stop himself from snapping at her utter idiocy, to give himself some time to calm down. Even if he did want to talk about it, throwing him in the deep end like that was really no way to get him to open up. Did she really expect all of his concerns to just suddenly flow out of him?

He wondered how long she had been a counsellor for…

"Louis…" She licked her lips in thought. Her voice was suddenly more stern and serious. "I wanted to chat to you about Harry Styles."

Louis froze up, every muscle in his body seemed to tense and twist uncomfortably against the hard plastic of the chair beneath him. He felt his own fingers curling around the arm rests, his knuckles no doubt turning white from the tension. He knew that was the real reason Mrs Willet wanted to have this stupid conversation, he was just hoping he was wrong. Or that it would at least take her a bit longer to get into the topic.

He scoffed internally, she’s exactly like all the narrow-minded students in this god damn school. Aren’t counsellors supposed to listen to you? Be supportive and understand you? He supposed he wasn’t really doing much talking for her to really understand, though, so there’s that.

He snapped his eyes open. “What about him.” It was more of an angry remark than a question.

"Well, I know that you two have quite a bit of… history.”

Louis scoffed aloud this time. If only she knew exactly what kind of history they had.

"And, well, it’s been brought to my attention that he… may or may not be the reason for your little incident the other night. Is this true?"

"No." Louis really was in no mood for any of this.

"Ah, well…" Her expression faltered briefly and her bright blue eyes grew stormy for a moment as she looked away from him, fiddling with her hands in her lap. "Whether this is the case or not, I think it’s in your best interest to not draw too much attention to yourself when he’s around for a while."

Louis squinted his eyes and curled his top lip in an upward direction, resembling a disgusted look of disbelief.

"I know he’s not exactly the most… friendly…boy at this school and, well it’s no secret that he enjoys making fun of other people like… well, like you, for whatever reason that I do not know.”

She scratched at the back of her neck, her eyes trained on the desk in front of her, unable to make eye contact with Louis when she spoke to him. “Harry obviously enjoys making people’s live’s miserable for no particular reason and it’s apparent that you’re the one he’s chosen to make miserable recently.”

Louis was fuming. How dare she talk about his boyfriend in such a degrading manner. She knew nothing about him, who was she to judge? Just a stupid, uneducated school counsellor.

He snapped. “Are you allowed to say things like that about the students?”

"The rules and regulations of this job are confidential and shouldn’t concern you, Louis. All I’m trying to say is that it’s probably a good idea to fly under the radar for a little while. At least until all this blows over." She waved a hand above her head.

Louis couldn’t even bring himself to reply, his jaw was clenched shut much too tight. He desperately tried to restrain his urges of yelling out brash remarks at her in defence of his boyfriend. If it weren’t for his hands clenching desperately to the plastic arm rests and his feet wrapped tightly around the chair legs, he was certain that he would probably surge over the table to attack her like a wild animal. 

The veins in his temples bulged erratically as he felt heat rising up in his neck and spreading across his cheeks like wildfire.

There was a sudden panicked expression that flashed across the woman’s face, as if realising she had done something she wasn’t supposed to. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish, trying to find the words to say before her eyes lit up again and her whole demeanour brightened completely, leaving behind no trace of her previously nervous attitude. Suddenly a wide grin spread over her face as she disregarded her slip-up. Her eyebrows seemed to disappear into her hairline. “Facing your fears is always the best way to diminish them, Louis. That’s why it’s a good idea to stand up to Harry an-“

"I’m sorry what?” Louis cocked his head forward with one sharp movement, punctuating the end of his sentence.

She continued her explanation completely unfazed by the boy’s remark. “You need to let him know that you’re not afraid of him and that-“

"But did you not just tell me to ‘fly under the radar’?" Louis was in full-sass mode now, making inverted commas with his fingers and everything to punctuate his sentence. 

She was visibly stunned, not realising the mistake she made. “No, ah- What I meant was-“

"No. You clearly have no idea what you meant."

Looking back on the situation later, Louis realised that his attitude probably wasn’t quite this necessary, but at the moment it just seemed to fit; he was so angry. “You also clearly have no idea about the way my brain works, either. Or the way Harry’s works for a matter of fact. So don’t act like you know everything about us.” 

He stood up, shoving the chair out from underneath him. “You’re really in no position to make these assumptions about people you don’t even know. Aren’t counsellors supposed to treat everyone equally? Be supportive?”

And with that, he stormed out of the room and down the hallway with next to no idea as to where he was headed.

He realised that his little blow-up probably wasn’t going to do much to help in convincing her that he was “completely fine” and that “Harry hasn’t done anything to me.” But he didn’t care about that right now, he just had to get away from her and her stupidity.

The only thing on his mind was the words he was typing out frantically onto the keyboard of his phone.

The person on the receiving end of his text message was obviously in the middle of class right now, so there was the high possibility that they wouldn’t show, or even reply to his text, but there was no harm in trying.

Louis didn’t know who else to talk to right now. He didn’t want to talk to anyone else right now.

To: Harry  
From: Louis  
Meet me at the eastern toilets now! :(

~*~

Louis paced back and forth around the small cubicle, his knuckles white with the tension of being squeezed together so hard into fists.

"I’m just so fucking mad, Harry."

Harry could practically see the steam radiating from his boyfriends face as he raked his eyes over every inch of the fuming boy, his eyes pausing for a few lingering moments at the vein bulging down the left side of his neck. Harry dragged his tongue across his teeth subconsciously.

"Calm down, Lou." He grabbed his arm as he passed him and pressed his fingers comfortingly into the fragile wrist of the caramel haired boy, who settled into the touch momentarily before ripping his hand away and continuing to wear a hole in the floor with his pacing.

He ran his fingers through his feathered locks and continued to move about the room. “But some of the things she was saying about you, Haz! I’m just so mad, so so SO mad. She has no right, no fucking right.”

Harry shrugged, slightly used to the mistreatment of the authority figures at their school. It’s fairly evident that he’s not exactly the most favourable student at Hall Cross, what with his constant late attendance to classes and lack of motivation towards work. “It’s okay, she’s only trying to help.”

Louis flapped his arms and stared at his boyfriend. Harry watched with dark eyes, distracted, as the vein on his neck grew and throbbed even more than it had been. He bit his bottom lip between his teeth.

"She doesn’t know a thing, though! I mean one minute she’s talking about how I’m supposed to stand up for myself and face my bullies or whatever, and then she goes on about flying under the radar and-"

Harry couldn’t control himself any longer, something about seeing the smaller boy so worked up and angry just drove him absolutely crazy. His lips attacked Louis’ messily as he staggered backwards and pressed his boyfriend into the wall of the toilet stall. His hands slithering up his shirt and pressing into his ribcage as he did so.

Harry pulled his lips away and instantly Louis tried to cram more words into the open slot of silence.

"Harry stop it I- mmm…"

He rejected what he was saying as soon as Harry’s lips attached themselves to his neck, finally fulfilling his craving to feel that vein against his lips. Harry licked and sucked at his skin, eliciting a moan from the other boy. He trailed his tongue up and down its entire length, feeling it press impossibly harder against the skin of his neck as he swallowed against Harry’s lips.

"Harry I mean it, we can’t- ahhh…" Harry nibbled at a particularly sensitive patch of skin where his neck just began to flatten out onto his shoulders, and slid his hand down the front of his trousers. He keened at the touch, rolling his hips forward subconsciously, craving more friction.

"Harry, we can’t, not here. I- mmm… Fuck it.” Louis grabbed the side of Harry’s face and pulled his head up to crash their lips together once more.

He tugged at the hem of Harry’s shirt, who stepped back for a split second to pull the fabric over his head, before doing the same to Louis. He stepped forward again instantly and pressed their bare chests together, breathing down Louis’ neck.

"You’re so hot when you’re angry, Lou.” He whispered in his impossibly deep, velvety tone and breathed out hot air against his exposed skin on the ‘h’. He watched as Louis shivered and goosebumps formed across his perfectly tanned chest.

"Fuck Harry, I need you. Now." Louis rolled his hips forward onto Harry’s, desperate for any form of more intimate contact.

Harry slithered his hand into Louis’ pants again and palmed him hotly, coaxing him into full hardness.

"Mmm, how much do you want me? Tell me."

"So fucking bad Harry, I-"

"Do you want me deep inside you, Lou?" His mouth was pressed against his ear, whispering with heated breath. "Do you wanna feel my cock thrusting deep inside you and making you moan? Making you scream my name and beg for more."

"Oh my god, yes, Harry, I need you inside me right fucking now." Louis’ voice was firmer now, his body was heating up more and more by the second, he literally craved Harry’s touch. His body was tensing up, begging for some form of release. He was achingly hard by this point.

"We… we don’t have anything, Louis." Harry looked to the side a little, unsure and a bit embarrassed by his previous little raunchy outburst. 

Louis eyed something behind him suspiciously, considerably.

"Just… use that."

Harry turned around and saw a bottle of liquid soap sitting by the sink, he cocked an eyebrow, considering the offer.

"Are you sure? I mean it’s a bit-"

"Yes, Harry, I’m sure. I don’t care, I just need to feel you right now."

So Harry complied, and he reached behind him to retrieve the small bottle of bright pink soap.

He fumbled with the buttons on Louis’ jeans, suddenly even more desperate for intimate contact between the two of them than he had been before.

"Fuck, Lou, you really need to invest in some jeans that are easier to get off."

"Mmm," he moaned against his boyfriends neck, "you love the way my arse looks in them though."

And it was true, Harry often caught himself carelessly ogling the other boys taught arse cheeks and toned thighs as he walked, no, pranced about the school.

Finally he managed to pull the trousers down to his ankles muttering something along the lines of “so fucking tight”, and did the same with his own. 

He squirted a small amount of the liquid into the palm of his hand and hesitated a moment before moving to stroke up and down Louis’ length, earning a moan on his part as he did so.

"Fuck, Harry, don’t tease me."

"Patience, Lou." Harry smirked at him, but nonetheless moved his other hand to circle his tight entrance slowly.

Louis bit his lip and visibly tensed as his finger entered him, adjusting to the sensation before relaxing and lolling his head forward to nibble at Harry’s earlobe.

He whispered hotly in his ear. “Fuck me. Now.”

And Harry had no need to refuse, so without a second thought he slicked himself up with the soap and wrapped Louis legs around his waist, pressing him into the wall as he did so.

Louis pressed his head against the wall and groaned as Harry entered him, enjoying and appreciating every inch of his length as it slid deep into warmth of his throbbing passage.

Harry sucked at his neck again, marking it with dark purple bruises and began a steady rhythm of thrusts as he rolled his hips forward and squeezed Louis’ thighs.

The caramel haired boy let out a breath and squeezed his eyes shut as Harry pushed impossibly harder onto that sweet sensitive spot deep inside him. His large hand wrapped around his length and started to pump in time to his movements as he pressed into him over and over again.

Moments later as Louis’ hot liquid spurted into the palm of Harry’s huge hand, he was quick to follow, releasing deep inside him and filling him entirely.

They rode out their orgasms with their lips moving together slowly, their tongues battling for dominance, and eventually Harry released his boyfriend onto the floor again.

He connected their lips once more, and by the time he pulled away his kiss-swollen lips were pulled up into an impossibly tight smirk that he was trying desperately to cover.

"Don’t look so smug, curly." Louis rolled his eyes as he pulled at one of Harry’s curls, watching it spring back into place.

"Did we just have sex in the school toilets?"

Louis shrugged, feigning nonchalance despite the butterflies in his stomach and the smile threatening to pull up at his lips. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Harry threw his head back in laughter and moved away when Louis pushed him gently, in order to pull their clothes back on.

Before Louis got the chance to pull his shirt back over his head, however, Harry was threading his fingers through his belt loops and pulling their bodies together pelvis first.

"Come to my game tomorrow night." He smirked at him, staring at his lips.

Louis felt his eyes double in size. “Wha- …your football game?”

"No, my game of duck duck goose. Yes, Louis, my football game." Harry chuckled slightly and pushed a lock of hair away from his boyfriends bright blue eyes. Those orbs of swirling blue had always been one of his favourite things about Louis.

If he were being honest, the caramel haired boy really had no probable explanation as to why he was so hesitant in attending. It wasn’t all too unusual for the game to be on a Tuesday night - they were usually held whenever was most convenient for the visiting team - so he couldn’t use the fact that it was in the middle of the week as an excuse for not showing up.

Looking back over his past few years at Hall Cross, Louis realised that he had never actually been to one of their football games before.

He shook his head slightly, not quite in response to Harry’s question, though. “I’ve never been to one of the school’s football games.”

Harry just shrugged. “It’s not too late to start.”

Louis wasn’t convinced. “I don’t know Harry, I… Liam’s on the team, and I really have no one else to go with. Besides, he’s shit angry at me anyway.” He was slightly embarrassed by his lack of friends for a moment, but he brushed that off to be miserable about another time.

"Come on, Lou." Harry no less than whined. "Maybe you’ll meet some more people there?" His eyes widened like a puppy dog as he stared at his boyfriend. His expression suddenly turned cheeky. "I’ll even score for you."

And what the fuck, who was Louis to refuse that offer?

He rolled his eyes. “Alright fine, Haz!” But before he had time to add anything else onto his sentence, Harry was squealing and pressing their lips together again.

"You’re the best boyfriend in the world." He whispered teasingly into Louis’ mouth as he pressed their foreheads together.

"I know." Louis winked and pushed Harry off, pulling on his shirt and strutting out of the cubicle.


	12. Chapter 12

The game was every bit like Louis had expected, what with grandstands full of students that he didn’t recognise completely decked in red and blue - the school’s colours - as they screamed out encouragement for their team. A throng of girls who Louis assumed to be cheerleaders - did Hall Cross even have cheerleaders? - ran about in tiny spandex dresses, painting people’s faces. One all too familiar looking girl with long blonde hair and curves that spilled tantalizingly out of her uniform approached him immediately upon his arrival, various paint pots and brushes in her hand.

"Hey there." Her tone was much too seductive considering the location and time, and Louis shuffled awkwardly a bit, feeling uncomfortable. "Mind if I paint you?" She twirled a lock of her hair around one of the brushes and bit her lip as she gazed up at him with her glassy eyes, thick eyelashes fluttering. Did this girl seriously flirt with anyone? 

Resisting the urge to scream something alone the lines of “Um, hello? Does my general appearance not just scream out GAY to you?” he suddenly recognised her as Caroline; Harry’s, erm, “friend” from that party - and scoffed. That’d be right, wouldn’t it.

"No thanks, love." He replied with a little patronisingly with a sarcastic smirk as he pushed past her without so much as a second glance. He made his way up the stairs of the grandstands to find a seat somewhere in the ocean of unfamiliar faces dressed in red and blue.

The caramel haired boy stood unsurely at the third step for a moment, eyes scanning the crowd for anyone even remotely recognisable that might be able to save him from the awkwardness he was bound to endure, completely unsure of where he was going to sit. For a moment he even considered just sitting right then and there on the steps, but he decided that probably wasn’t the best option and he would undoubtedly attract some very unwanted attention.

But then something, or, someone, caught his eye.

A group of students not too far to his left were waving frantically in his direction, huge smiles on their faces. Louis stared at them for a moment, confused as to who they were or why they were waving to him. He turned around to see if there was someone standing behind him that they may have been trying to get the attention of instead of him, - which would have made more sense - but there wasn’t.

"Louis!" The girl from the group closest to him with wavy light brown hair called and motioned for him to come over.

Okay, so they were talking to him. Surely he must be missing something here.

Cautiously he made his way up the stairs and pushed through the row of seats. He perched on the edge of the chair next to the one the brown haired girl was on when she patted it with her hand a couple of times, motioning for him to sit down and join them.

"Hey!" She squealed once more. "I’m Eleanor. I’m a friend of Danielle’s." The girl nodded somewhere behind her and Louis suddenly felt like an absolute prat for not noticing Liam’s girlfriend beside her before now.

When he realised that he had been in silent thought for much too long, and that the eyes belonging to everyone in the small group were still pointed toward him in anticipation, him he quickly replied. “Right! Of course! Hey.”

Maybe Louis wasn’t the best at this whole ‘making friends’ business, so sue him.

He smiled at Danielle. “Hey Dani.” Who responded with a grin.

"How’ya been Louis? This is Stan and Andy." She giggled happily and pointed to the two boys on either side of her with her thumb, who grinned and greeted him with a "Hello!" and a "Hey mate."

Okay, if he we’re being honest, Louis really had no ideas as to why they were being so nice to him.

He wasn’t complaining, though, not if it meant he didn’t have to sit awkwardly by himself for the duration of the football game and pretend that he was ‘just waiting for a mate to get back from the loo’ if anyone asked.

"By the way, Liam feels like total shit about your little fight the other day." And oh so was that what this was about?

He scratched at the back of his neck a little awkwardly. Now that he was actually thinking about it properly, he did feel pretty terrible about what had happened between him and his best mate. Liam really didn’t deserve to be treated like that, he was only watching out for him. He was his best friend, after all.

Louis didn’t quite appreciate having to sit by himself for a whole week of lunch times either.

He supposed this was probably Liam’s way of apologising - providing him with a group of friends to sit with at the game, that is - and he was more than willing to accept it.

When he told Danielle how stupid he felt he had been over the whole situation she merley shook her head and laughed. “Don’t worry, he’s just as willing to forget about it as you are.” Before following it up with a “Just talk to him tomorrow, yeah?”

Louis nodded and it became clear that the conversation was over. There was an awkward moment where Louis wasn’t sure if his presence was still wanted and he wondered should stand up and leave now that they weren’t talking to him any longer, he tensed his legs a little and shifted sideways, making to leave while looking at each group member to see if the rejected his departure or not.

They didn’t seem to notice his intentions, however, because Stan tossed him a packet of crisps, so he settled back cautiously in his seat, thankful for their acceptance. He surveyed the oval that was slowly starting to fill up with players dressed in red and blue, and another team wearing a vomit green.

Harry caught his eye instantly. He was jogging up and down on the spot next to Zayn, warming up for the game and making pointless conversation - looking rather splendid in his uniform if Louis were to say so himself.

The curly haired boy looked up only a moment after, as if sensing Louis’ gaze upon him, his eyes scanning the grandstands in search of those bright blue ones.

Then bright blue met shining green and Harry’s face lit up instantly. 

Harry grinned widely and waved excitedly like a twelve-year-old girl.

"You came!" Harry mouthed and raised his eyebrows happily. Louis chuckled to himself before waving back and mouthing "Score for me!" cheekily with a double thumbs up, as if to silently remind Harry of their little deal.

"You friends with Harry, then?" A soft voice cooed from beside Louis, and he quickly wiped off the grin that had unceremoniously spread across his face as he dropped his hands in his lap, feigning innocence. 

He turned to face Eleanor, who was smiling at him expectantly and not with a hint of judgement or assumption in her expression at all.

"Erm, no. I mean, not really, nah." He shook his head incredibly unconvincingly. 

Eleanor simply looked at him with what seemed a little like bemusement before nodding reassuringly. “It’s okay, Louis. None of us are going to tell anyone if you don’t want us to. We’ve all been wondering why he’s stopped giving you so much shit over the past couple of weeks anyway.”

He smiled at her a bit warily. Surely it wouldn’t matter if she knew they were friends. It’s not like she would have expected anything… more, anyway. “Thanks.”

There was a moment of silence that drew the line between awkward and comfortable before she elbowed Louis playfully in the side and questioned, “You managed to swing him in the other direction yet, then?” Her tone was giggly and he knew she was joking, but Louis froze up nonetheless. 

He froze up completely. He had no idea how to reply. Not without sounding either offended - which he really wasn’t - or incredibly unconvincingly. 

As she noticed his lack of comfort towards her comment, Eleanor quickly equipped. “I’m only kidding, Louis, calm down.” A little embarrassed if anything.

"Oh, right, right. No, don’t be silly." He chuckled, trying to act casual, but every bone in his body was still tense.

The buzzer signalling the start of the game sounded through the stadium, turning the phrase ‘saved by the bell’ into something quite literal. Louis, thankful as hell for the distraction, swivelled back around in his chair and quickly trained his vision back to the field of football players, missing the confused and considering glance from Eleanor pointed in his direction as he did so.

If he were being honest, Louis didn’t really know much about football. But from what he did understand, Harry was really fucking good. (But that was probably why he was the captain even though he wasn’t a senior, wasn’t it?)

He watched as the curly haired boy darted with incredible speed and agility between the other players, swiftly stealing the ball from them with his feet as he did so.

He kicked the first goal within seconds of the game’s beginning. And as soon as he did, his gaze turned straight towards where Louis was seated in the bleachers, his eyes as wide as saucers and a huge smirk on his face as he fucking winked at him before running off again.

Louis chuckled and shook his head at the boy, earning a knowing smirk from Eleanor and the rest of his acquaintances - he wasn’t entirely sure whether or not he could consider them his “friends” as of just yet - as they definitely did not miss the pointed look from Harry. Or the way Louis reacted to it. He pretended not to notice them.

Half time finally came around and Louis whipped out his phone and typed away with chaste, thankful for a moment to squeeze in even the tiniest amount of communication with his boyfriend.

To: Harry  
From: Louis  
You are the epitome of fit.

Louis watched his boyfriend from across the field as he pulled his phone from his bag, grinning widely and chuckling at the message.

To: Louis  
From: Harry  
I know, Lou ;)

He followed up his own reply almost instantaneously.

To: Louis  
From: Harry  
Meet me at the change rooms after the game?

Louis smirked as he typed out his reply.

To: Harry  
From: Louis  
No. We are not fucking in the toilets again. Absolutely not.

To: Louis  
From: Harry  
Well I WAS going to offer to drive you home to save you from walking and freezing your arse off. You can forget it now, though.

Louis could see his shit eating grin even from his distance away as he read his reply.

To: Harry  
From: Louis  
Sorry babycakes, did I ever mention you’re the best boyfriend in the whole world? Love you so so much! xxxxxxxx

To: Louis  
From: Harry  
That’s more like it! So meet me, yeah? x

To: Harry  
From: Louis  
Of course. Maybe I will even let you fuck me in the back of your car… We’ll see.

To: Louis  
From: Harry  
OR you could fuck me…

Louis didn’t get chance to reply, Harry was already running back onto the field for the second half of the game.

He did, however, steal a quick glance in Louis’ direction with the biggest smirk of all smirks as Louis just shook his head and bit his lip a little, his eyes dark, suddenly a lot more eager for the game to be over.

~*~ 

Louis bid his friends - yeah he decided he can call them friends now, okay? - farewell with a huge grin on his face.

Eleanor had scribbled her phone number down on his hand before she left. He raised her eyebrows at her and she only giggled in response “Not like that! I know you like guys, Louis. Just, y’know…” and shrugged before walking away.

He hung around outside of the canteen for a moment before going to meet Harry as he had decided - being openly gay, and all - walking into a changing room full of half naked boys when he didn’t absolutely have to be there probably wasn’t the particularly best idea.

When enough time had finally passed and enough people had finally left, Louis slowly made his way across.

Harry was already leaning against the wall, his bag thrown over his shoulder, when Louis’ rounded the corner. He tried to suppress his stupid grin as he made his way over to his boyfriend. “Nice playing tonight.”

Harry looked up straight away, his lips pulling into a jovial smile. “Thanks Boo Bear.” and he wrapped his arms around his waist, lingering for a few moments too many.

"Did you see me score for you?" Harry giggled as he pulled away and started walking.

"How could I possibly have missed it, Haz?!" He reasoned and quickly caught up to Harry, snaking his arm around his waist.

Harry nuzzled his head into the crook of Louis’ neck despite their height difference, his curls falling onto Louis collarbones and tickling the flesh there as they walked. He hummed sleepily in response.

~*~

"Haz, your car is always so cold!” Louis whined from the passenger seat of Harry’s land rover, wrapping his arms around his own torso as an attempt to keep himself warm.

"It is not!" Harry chuckled in response. "You’re just too sensitive to the temperature."

"But Haaaaaarry!" Louis was whining now. He lolled his head around to pout at his boyfriend who promptly rolled his eyes, yet turned off the air-conditioning anyway. Smiling as he did so.

Louis smirked appreciatively and leaned across the gear stick to peck his boyfriend on the cheek. 

A comfortable silence that neither of them really noticed had fallen was broken by Harry’s sudden smug-sounding outburst.

"I hope you know that I have no intentions of taking you home."

"Wh-what?" Louis was startled by the sudden words, not quite processing what Harry had said as he was shaken from his daydream.

"You’re coming back to my house whether you like it or not."

"Oh am I now?” Louis mocked defensive even when his insides were bubbling with excitement - calm down Louis, you’re just going to his house, you’re not a twelve year old girl.

"Yup." Harry replied, popping his lips on the ‘p’.

"Well, Harold, did you ever consider that maybe I don’t want to stay over your house tonight? It is a school night after all.” He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows at him, trying to make his act believable even though he was sporting a massive closed-lipped smile that he was trying so desperately to suppress.

"Mmm? That’s too bad." Harry wrinkled his nose and shook his head at his boyfriend. "You don’t get a choice."

"Well that’s not very fair, is it?" 

"You won’t be complaining when I’m fucking you into the mattress later."

Louis raised an eyebrow and whipped his head around again. He glared at him a moment, unsure how to respond.

Eventually he turned around and crossed his arms as casually as he could. “Devious.”

Harry let out a loud laugh at that, shaking his head as he did so and stealing a sideways glance at Louis.

Another silence fell between them again, and this time it was broken by Louis.

"Are your parents going to be home?" His question shouldn’t have been as nerve-wrecking for Harry as it was. It shouldn’t have mattered. But it did.

Harry let out a breath he had been subconsciously holding while he waited for that exact question to leave Louis’ lips. 

"Yeah."

Louis shifted a little in his leather seat, the fabric of his jeans making little creaking sounds. “Is that okay? I mean - ?”

Harry shrugged, he knew what Louis was referring to. “They don’t know yet.”

"I know that." 

Harry’s grip on the steering wheel loosened a little and he twisted his wrists back and forth.

"I want to tell them."

Louis shot up instantly, excitedly. “You do?”

Harry nodded slowly, scared of how Louis would react. He swallowed, his throat feeling thick, and turned to his left to gauge Louis’ reaction.

He was smiling, no, fucking grinning like an idiot at him. Teeth showing, bright cerulean blue eyes crinkled at the edges and all as they glistened like hell and everything.

"Why are you smiling!?" Harry half chuckled, glancing back at his boyfriend again.

"Oh Hazza!" He flung himself at the larger boy, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and squeezing tight as he snuggled his face into his chest. "I’m so happy for you. For us!"

Harry struggled to see over Louis’ head and keep the wheel straight as he peppered kisses all over his chest and neck, making him giggle from the soft touches of his lips.

"Hey! Stop it, you’ll make us have a car crash!" Harry chuckled, no, giggled. Definitely giggled.

"Don’t complain, I know you like it." 

"Am I really that obvious?" Harry joked, but there was truth behind Louis’ words.

Louis poked his tongue out and turned to face the road. “So when were you planning on telling them?”

"I’m not sure…" Harry trailed off, falling deep into thought. "Probably tomorrow, when my step dad gets home."

"Do you think they will take it alright?" Louis questioned innocently, his eyes wide as he glanced sidewards at Harry.

He shrugged, biting his bottom lip and Louis suspected that he would probably drop his head or play with his bracelets or something if he weren’t driving, and replied. “I hope so.”

Noticing his worry and sudden change in demeanour, Louis squeezed his thigh with one hand and placed another kiss to his soft, milky white cheek until he felt the dimple appear under his lips which meant he was smiling.

Leaning back a little, he whispered. “They’ll be fine, Haz. I promise.”

Harry turned to look at him and when their eyes locked for a second, he smiled instantly. “Thanks Lou.”

He removed his left hand from the steering wheel and intertwined it with Louis’ smaller one on his lap, receiving a reassuring squeeze once again.

"Louis? Will you-"

"Of course I’ll do it with you Haz." He stroked his thumb over the back of Harry’s larger, stronger hand. "Together." 

Harry smiled, ever so slightly, as he whispered back. "Together."


	13. Chapter 13

Louis woke up to the sweet smell of something like peaches mixed with musk.

As the scent floated through his nose he stretched a little, coaxing his limbs back into coherence as he smiled against the soft sheets pressing into the right side of his face.

A hand found its way into his hair and began to massage comforting circles, its fingernails scratching his scalp soothingly.

Louis mewled in appreciation and keened into the touch, crooking his neck slightly to push his head further into the palm of the mysterious hand.

There was the faint but very definite sound of a photo being taken on a iPhone and Louis furrowed his eyebrows together, still not in a completely awake state of lucidity.

"Hrrgggngnnh." The sound that left his mouth was muffled by the unusually plump pillow under his cheek, but that didn’t really mater considering it wasn’t even a coherent word anyway.

A breath of what seemed to be somewhere between a giggle and a chuckle rippled through the air and Louis snapped his eyes open quickly, blinking a few times prior in order to adjust to the light streaming in from all directions around him.

His eyes met a pair of shining emeralds.

Louis paused for a moment, his shoulders tense as he took in his surroundings.

Circular room, books piled high in every corner and against every wall, posters of bands he didn’t recognise littering the walls, the biggest fucking bed he had ever seen. Yep, definitely Harry’s room.

If the sight of the room he was currently in wasn’t enough to jog Louis’ memory as to the events of the past few hours, then the boy laying next to him sure as hell was.

Harry looked absolutely adorable.

His cherub like curls were sweeping the wrong way as he lay on his left side, gazing at Louis. His cheeks were a rosy colour that contrasted to the milky white of is skin and one was squashed against the pillow in a way that made half of his face seem swollen and squishy. His eyes were slightly smaller than usual from sleep and his eyelids seemed heavy, his thick eyelashes brushing his cheeks slowly every time he blinked. His irises were as sparkly as ever, though. Two balls of shining green, glistening with moisture that reflected the sunlight. His lips, however, were the deepest shade of red that lips could possibly ever be. They looked plump and inviting and were parted slightly, drawing hot breaths between them.

Louis mentally cursed Harry for being able to look so fucking good when he had just woken up, but it was impossible to stay angry at someone that gorgeous and innocent-looking. His lips that seemed to be perfect to compare to rosebuds pulled into a gentle smile when he realised Louis was awake.

"Morning sleepyhead." Harry’s voice was impossibly deeper than normal and the gravelly edge that hours of no use created made Louis bite down onto his bottom lip.

Louis briefly noticed Harry’s phone sticking half way out from under the pillow they were sharing. (Which was completely unnecessary considering the size of Harry’s bed and the array of pillows available to each of them. But it just seemed right.)

"Wer’ you takin’ photos o’me" Louis mumbled through his throat that felt thick from sleep as he rolled his face into the pillow.

Harry chuckled in response. “I couldn’t help myself! You look so cute when you sleep, Lou.”

"Do not." He grumbled against the fabric, it was much too early to deal with Harry’s cuteness. 

An arm snaked around his waist then, pulling him closer into the toned arms of Harry, their chests, bare from the night prior, pressing together.

"Oh but you really do, Boo Bear." Harry cooed, placing a kiss on the tip of his nose.

Louis nuzzled his face into somewhere on Harry that he couldn’t really distinguish in his sleepy daze, but he thought it was somewhere within the area of his chest. There was no point trying to act mad at him, especially when he looked like this, it was practically impossible.

Harry’s hand instantly found its way into Louis hair again, and he rocked his neck backwards a little, silently encouraging him to draw pointless patterns on his scalp with his fingernails.

Harry chuckled at his gesture. “You’re such a kitten, Louis.”

"Says you!" He exclaimsed profusely into the skin on Harry’s chest and they both fell into a fit of giggles. Neither boy denying it as they both know it’s the truth.

"Shit, Harry." Louis breathed out warm air against his skin, watching as goosebumps formed over an array of purple love bites and feeling secretly accomplished in knowing that he was the one who caused the little imperfections on his body.

"It’s Wednesday."

"Hmm, so?" Harry just pulled him in closer, not wanting to move yet.

"We have school!" Louis chuckled at his boyfriends lack of motivation to get up, although made no attempt to do anything even remotely like the opposite. Harry is just so warm.

"Oh. That we do." Harry wedged a hand underneath the pillow and fumbled about until his fingers hit the cool metal of his phone. Sliding it out from underneath him he pressed the home button and squinted when the light shone onto his face. "S’only 6:20, we have ages."

Louis relaxed at the news and shifted his position a little, allowing a better snuggle angle to Harry’s inviting body before he realised. “Why the fuck are we awake so early?”

Harry chuckled in response. “I have no idea, Lou. I really don’t.”

The pair let out matching sighs and snuggled deeper into each others bodies as if silently agreeing that it’s okay being up this early gives us time to cuddle before school as the two of them got lost in their thoughts.

They lay like that for a minute, arms hung loosely around each other and feet brushing up against feet in a quiet game of footsies under the sheets. 

"So I’m going to tell them today." Harry’s voice isn’t intrusive when it breaks through the silence.

Louis doesn’t have to question him; he already knows what he’s talking about.

"If you’re sure you want to."

There’s no denying how much Louis wants him to, but if Harry isn’t ready then neither is he. Because he wants what Harry wants. They’re a pair now.

He wouldn’t want him to rush into anything only to regret it later, anyway. Not if he didn’t feel he was ready.

"I do. I do want to." There’s a sense of finality in Harry’s tone and Louis suspects that today really will be the day that he comes out to his parents.

Louis had met Anne, Harry’s mum, last night when they had arrived home from the football match. He had been introduced as “Louis my, erm, good friend…” and greeted with a warm smile and an equally warm hug. She seemed like a nice enough woman, he didn’t know why she would have a problem with the fact that her son liked boys - it was a minor oversight, really. Although he suspected that his mother may not be the problem here.

He was yet to meet Harry’s step dad, Robin, as he was at work until late that night. He hadn’t heard him come home later though considering the fact that Harry’s house was so bloody huge there could be a fire going on down one end and you wouldn’t have a clue if you were at the other. What exactly Robin would have against the whole “my step-son likes it in the arse” idea Louis couldn’t, or didn’t really care to, pinpoint.

So sure, he had never explicitly been told by Harry or anyone else that his step dad could be pretty judgemental or expecting of him. But if the way he got all quiet and started playing with his bracelets every time his mother brought him up in conversation was any indication of his relationship with his stepfather, then there was definitely some sort of uneasy tension between the two of them.

Louis thought back to when he himself came out to his family, all those months ago. His mother was happy, no, ecstatic for him. She squeezed him tightly and whispered in his ear “I’m so proud of you, Boo Bear.” and when she pulled away she had a tear in her eye and a grin on her lips. 

He was shocked by her reaction to say the least, nevertheless pleased though, of course. For some reason Louis had the suspicion the she had somehow already known, and it had become more of a when than what if or why a long time before he really said anything, but that was a whole other story.

He hoped that Harry’s parents would give him an equally positive reaction.

~*~

Harry isn’t ready, Louis can feel it. 

The four of them are sat around the kitchen table in silence, all eyes on Harry as he swallows unsurely and drops his gaze from where he had been maintaining strong eye contact with his stepfather only seconds earlier. 

Robin, although average height, is a rather round man, Louis notices. He has a head full of greasy brown hair that is slicked to the left side and there isn’t a speck of stubble visible on his round chin. Louis doesn’t think his piercing eyes and cold glare quite match the warmth of Anne or the welcoming of Harry, but he tries not to think about it.

"Well, what is it, boy?" Robin is peering over the top of his newspaper, eyebrows raised in a fashion that makes his forehead crinkle into what seems to be a hundred deep wrinkles that split across his skin.

Harry swallows and draws in a sharp breath, unsure of how exactly, or if he’s going to proceed.

Louis pats his thigh reassuringly under the table. It’s a simple touch of body parts that means nothing but everything at the same time, in this case it means I’m here, everything’s fine, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, it’s alright. He tries to make it subtle and they are already sitting too close so he doesn’t have to move his arm much to perform the task, it’s unlikely that anyone would notice anyway. The pointed cold and somewhat confused glare given to him by Robin proves otherwise.

Louis retracts his hand awkwardly. He doesn’t like being judged for no reason. Especially by people whom he has just met. Robin doesn’t-

"I’m gay."

The words seem to explode from Harry’s mouth without any form of warning. Louis tenses in shock, not quite prepared for the oh-so-familiar phrase to be hanging in the air as it is at the moment. Harry looks up from where his hands had been knotted together anxiously in his lap, he seems to be looking at neither Robin or Anne or Louis in specific, just looking. His hands are balled into tight white fists against his knees now, bracing himself for the outcome.

The next sound is the slamming of a newspaper and the scraping of chair legs against the tiled floor as Robin rises from his seat.

"Not in my damn house you’re not." Robin’s frame is towering over the table now, a vicious glare on his face and his eyes as cold as ice. His finger pointing menacingly towards Harry who, Louis notices with despair, has seemed to retract into himself a thousand times.

Robin shakes his finger at him. “Not under my god damn roof, you hear me?” 

His voice is raised now but Harry makes no indication that he is going to give a response.

"What, I suppose this little pixie here is your lover?" His hand waves degradingly at Louis and small droplets of spit fly from his mouth as he speaks, flying in all different directions.

Still no response from Harry.

Louis chances a glance at Anne and she looks uneasy and somewhat embarrassed. A wary attempt to calm him down spills from her lips, but to no avail. “Robin, please-“

"You bloody well look at me when I’m speaking to you, boy." He cuts her off short, giving no acknowledgement or interest in her opinion.

Harry slowly shifts his eyes up to make contact with his step dad’s, his jaw clenched tight as he fights so desperately with himself to not show any sign of emotion whatsoever.

"You’re a disgrace, you hear me? An absolute disgrace. Fucking disgusting. No son of mine is gay, blood related or not. Got it?" But he doesn’t wait for a response. "Good."

In a scamper of chairs being shoved and newspapers being thrown, Robin is out of the room and then out of the house, his expensive sports car revving as he speeds away from the home in a fit of rage.

The three of them sit there for a moment. Harry, Louis and Anne, unsure of what to say or do next. An air of silent awkwardness is hanging around them, but it is unwelcome.

Surprisingly, it is Harry to make the first move. Before anyone really knows what is happening, he is standing up sharply, unwrapping his ankle from where it had been wrapped around Louis’ under the table. He rushes out of the room without so much as a word to either of them.

"Haz wait…" Louis quickly follows suit, chasing after his boyfriend, not waiting to see Anne’s reaction.

~*~

Louis found his boyfriend curled up on his window seat, staring out at the lake with his chin resting on his knees. He wasn’t crying; no tears rolled down his cheeks, only an absent look in his eye and his mouth pulled into a tight line. Louis thought this was worse, though. There was a copy of The Catcher in the Rye at his feet open to a random page, but Louis suspected he hadn’t even intended on reading it.

"Haz…" Louis cooed softly as he walked slowly over to perch next to Harry, wrapping his arm around his torso instead of his shoulders. Louis thinks this is more comforting, more reassuring.

"Haz I’m sorry."

Harry swallowed in a way that seemed to be difficult for him, and Louis feared that he might be trying to stifle a sob. “It’s not your fault.” Harry’s voice wavered and his eyes slowly began to well up until he was unable to withhold a chain of small, silent sobs for any longer.

"Oh no, Harry come here." Louis wrapped both of his arms around his boyfriends lean frame and he complied immediately, wrapping his own arms around Louis’ torso and burying his face in the crook of his neck.

Louis just let him cry; he figured it would be best for Harry to get all his tears out so they wouldn’t come back to bite later when they were even more unwanted then they were right now. His shirt began to feel damp after a little while but he didn’t mind, this was too important for that to matter.

"You’re not disgusting, babe, I promise. You’re perfect, wonderful, amazing…" Louis traced his fingers up and down his spine comfortingly as he pressed a loving kiss onto the top of Harry’s head, breathing deeply and inhaling the scent of his soft, shiny curls as he did so.

"I love you, Louis." Harry’s voice sounded broken and utterly shattered and it tore Louis’ heart to shreds to have to see him like this.

"I love you too, Hazza. So, so much." He hugged him even tighter, relishing the embrace as he fought to keep back his own tears now.

There was a brief knock at the hard wood of Harry’s door and Anne emerged in the room, her eyebrows furrowed together with worry and her hands clasped tightly in front of her.

"Oh Harry baby." She rushed over to sit on his other side and squeezed his shoulder to comfort him to the best of her ability while he was still snuggled tightly into Louis’ comforting frame.

"I’m so sorry." She whispered just loud enough for the both of them to hear, shaking her head as if in disbelief of her husband’s cruelty towards her son.

"I’m happy for you, H." Her tone was sincere and she leaned across and pecked him on the cheek, rubbing his back with the palm of her hand as she did.

Anne made eye contact with Louis from over Harry’s head now, but she was speaking to both of them. “I think it’s great that the two of you are together, I’m so happy for you both and I’m sorry that Robin can’t seem to see it too, I just…” She trailed off and stared out Harry’s large window, shaking her head and not quite sure what to say next.

"I know your stepfather isn’t exactly the most accepting person but I- I don’t know. I’m sorry H."

Harry pulled away from Louis and turned to his mother now, a weak smile tugging at his lips. “It’s not your fault, mum. And thanks.” He shrugged as he spoke and opened his arms to welcome her into an embrace which she accepted immediately.

"I don’t want you ever thinking that you’re disgusting or a disgrace or anything, okay? No matter what he says to you just know that you are a wonderful, intelligent, handsome young man, y’hear?"

Harry chuckled as he pulled away. “I’m getting a lot of compliments today.”

Louis and Anne smiled in response and Harry turned to look at his mother again.

"I won’t mention this to him by the way, you don’t have to worry."

Anne smiled sadly but appreciatively at her son for being so understanding. Things were difficult between the three of them and Harry knew well enough that if Robin were to hear the words she had just spoken to her son, there would be hell to pay.

"Thank you Harry." She closed her eyes for a moment and smiled a smile that could mean a thousand things ranging from I’m glad you understand to I’m sorry you have to live with him. “This can just be our little secret. Now c’mere, you two.”

She pulled the two of them into a warm embrace and sighed deeply. There was a sense of genuine acceptance in the way she wrapped her arms around them that made Louis feel happy and sad at the same time.

He wasn’t sure where exactly Harry and Robin would pick up the next time they saw each other, but that didn’t matter for now. Because his mother accepted him and that’s all that mattered.

~*~

Louis and Harry scrambled about putting their seatbelts on and all their belongings in the respective holders in the two front seats of Harry’s land rover.

When everything was settled and the two of them were ready to go, they sat there for just a moment too long, not speaking or doing anything.

Just as Louis turned slightly worriedly to Harry to ask him if everything was okay, Harry turned to face him.

His expression wasn’t at all like Louis had expected, instead of there being sadness present in his features his lips were curled into a cheeky smirk and there was a mischievous glimmer in his eye. 

"We’re not going to school today."

And before Louis had time to protest, Harry was turning on the engine and driving away in the complete opposite direction from Hall Cross.

Louis chuckled and let his head fall back against the leather head rest. Of course they weren’t going to school, he totally should have seen this coming.

He wasn’t complaining, though. Harry was happy and Harry was smiling so Louis was too. He was just glad to see Harry no longer sad.

"You know this could technically count as abduction, Styles." He teased, doing his best of trying to act disapproving and stifle a grin at the same time.

"Stop complaining, you love it." Harry retaliated giddily and scrunched up his nose when Louis stuck his tongue out at him.

"Where are we going, then?"

"On an adventure."

And that was enough.


	14. Chapter 14

If there were one thing that Louis liked the most about Harry, surprisingly it would not be his curls or his smell or his big bright green eyes. Although all of these things came as a close 2nd on his never ending list, Louis’ favourite thing about Harry was, believe it or not, his descriptive way of speaking; his in-depth analyses on just about anything. The way his lips curled around his words and his voice echoed just so deeply and gravelly around them may or may not have played a part in the making of this decision, too.

Harry seemed to be able to find the beauty in everything. If not the beauty, then there were always some sort of underlying message to a song, film, advertisement or basically anything, in Harry’s eyes. Louis often suspected that this message wasn’t usually even intended, but he would never tell Harry this, he knew how much he enjoyed analysing things.

Louis loved it. He loved the way Harry saw things, the way he thought things truly were. Often he found himself entranced, staring at the other boy’s pink lips as he expressed his unique views on something he had just discovered.

It wasn’t just Harry’s lips that he enjoyed watching, however. Whenever Harry was describing something to Louis his eyes would always, without a doubt be pulled open wide, glistening impossibly greener than usual. His milky white cheeks would be flushed with peachy tones and his eyebrows would raise under his fringe at times like this.

Times like right now.

Harry was a total hipster when it came to music, there was no doubt about that. Louis had never heard of most of the bands or songs that he listened to, and although it wasn’t usual for Harry to play a song that he disliked, he just didn’t know them or enjoy them as much as Harry did.

Despite the two boy’s incredibly different tastes in music, if there was one thing they could agree on in relation to bands or records, it was how absolutely great The Script were.

Harry was lost in his own little world of thoughts, describing in depth the hidden message behind The Man Who Can’t Be Moved as it played softly in the background, slightly muffled by the whirr of the engine of Harry’s car.

Louis’ listening, but not really, he’s more interested in watching the arc his top lip makes every time he says the word ‘move’.

Harry pauses mid-evaluation and Louis momentarily has a little internal freak out that he might have asked him a question. He opened his mouth to speak before he has even though of a reply, but is luckily cut off.

“This is my favourite bit!”

Harry suddenly leans forward and turns up the radio.

It’s Louis’ favourite bit too.

The music is so loud that Louis’ can hardly notice it, if it weren’t for the fact that he was still staring at Harry’s lips, he probably would have missed it completely.

But it’s there and it’s real and it’s definite and Harry’s singing.

If he strains his ears enough and concentrates hard to block out all of the other noise, Louis can just make out the sound of Harry’s voice, deep and rough and blending in perfectly with Danny O’Donoghue’s.

People talk about the guy  
Who’s waiting on a girl, oh whoa  
There are no holes in his shoes  
But a big hole in his world

His voice has rocky undertones and is just so absolutely perfect that Louis finds himself wondering if there is anything that Harry is bad at.

He joins in for the next part.

Maybe I’ll get famous as the man who can’t be moved  
And maybe you won’t mean to but you’ll see me on the news  
And you’ll come running to the corner  
‘Cause you’ll know it’s just for you

Louis personally isn’t that much of a fan of his own singing voice. But he’s been told before that it’s nice and sweet so that was enough for him to continue with it.

He wished people would describe his voice as other things though. Things like rough or powerful or strong.

It really is nice, though, in it’s own perfect way. His voice his sweet and slightly high-pitched and this fact definitely does not go unnoticed by Harry, who sends him continuous sideways glances that Louis pretends not to notice.

They complete the song together, their voices blending like coffee and milk, complimenting each others tones perfectly. When the song is finished neither of them say anything, they just sit there, silently. Harry turns down the next song that’s starting to play. He doesn’t want the sound of Coldplay (no matter how wonderful) to ruin the moment of his and Louis’ voices still echoing around his mind.

They both know what the other is going to say, but neither of them say it; they don’t have to. Instead Harry just reaches across and intertwines his fingers with Louis’. His hand is large enough to almost double-over his fingers entirely, but he knows that he hates being so much smaller than his boyfriend, so he doesn’t do it, he just squeezes his palm gently until Louis reciprocates the gesture.

Louis sighed deeply, contently, as he rubbed his thumb over the back of Harry’s smooth hand and stared out the window with a small slime playing on his lips.

Louis avoided reading any road signs, he didn’t want to know where they were going; he wanted it to be a surprise. Instead he stared at the scenery, the passing cars - anything else, as he traced absent patterns into the palm of his boyfriend’s palm and slowly began to doze off into a light sleep that he didn’t even notice approaching him.

~*~

"Loooouuuiiiiiiis" Harry cooed and rocked his boyfriend back into a lazy consciousness. "You know, all of this sleeping in front of me that you’ve been doing is practically begging me to take pictures.”

Louis looked down and noticed that Harry was indeed holding his phone again, no doubt previously taking more photos of a sleeping Louis if the smirk on his face was anything to go by.

He grumbled in response. “Not fair, ‘m tired.”

Louis stretched out his limbs as best as he could within the confines of Harry’s car and let out a little squealing noise from the back of his throat (that he would later deny if ever brought up because is it even possible for humans to make sounds that high-pitched?).

If Louis had noticed the way Harry’s eyes quickly flew to the slither of golden skin that peeked out from under his shirt as he stretched his body back into cognizance, he pretended he hadn’t. 

"Jesus, Harry, it’s 11 o’clock! We’ve been driving for hours!" Louis pointed exasperatedly at the digital clock on the dashboard of the car, his eyebrows shooting up to a ridiculous height.

Harry giggled, showing his dimples to Louis. “Well the day’s nearly over, lets have fun while we can!”

And with that, he was out of the car, leaving Louis trailing off halfway through “Where the bloody hell have you kidnapped me to this time?”

Louis quickly pulled on his shoes and stepped out of the car himself to attempt to locate Harry. The moment he opened the door a cool breeze swept around him and found its way under his shirt, tickling his skin and causing goosebumps. Louis immediately wrapped his arms around his torso, hoping to fight the cold as he looked around himself.

He surveyed their surroundings; they were at Cleethorpes beach.

"What the hell, Harry!" Louis half laughed, half shouted above the wind as he searched around for his boyfriend, but he was already charging across the sand towards the water.

Of course Harry was going to drive them to the beach, that crazy, spontaneous ball of curls. Of bloody course.

Louis really wasn’t complaining, though. Harry’s cheeky, mischievous side was just another thing on the long, long list of reasons why he loved him.

He watched as Harry dumped a pile of towels and a bag on the sand and toed off his shoes, looking up at Louis expectantly. He had planned this all along, that little shit.

He tugged off his shirt and grinned cheekily at him before yelling. “You coming or what!?” and ran off towards the ocean.

Louis shook his head for a moment in disbelief at how absolutely crazy Harry must be; it couldn’t have been more than 15 degrees. But before he knew it, he was chasing after him and discarding his own clothes along the way.

There really was no reasonable explanation for what Louis was about to do, other than he had completely lost his mind, because it was absolutely freezing and the beach was almost completely abandoned yet still, he found himself running into the ice cold water and collapsing under the waves next to his boyfriend who was already frolicking about in the foamy water.

"You are insane!" He yelled over the sound of the crashing waves as half shook his head and half threw it back in laughter. "It’s bloody freezing in here!"

"You’ll get used to it." Harry responded with a chuckle in his tone, rolling his eyes at Louis but smiling nonetheless. "Now come on, don’t be a pussy and swim with me!"

Harry dived at Louis and snaked his hands around his bare waist to rest on the small of his back, staring cheekily into his eyes as he did so. Louis couldn’t help but notice that this wasn’t exactly what he - or anyone else for that matter - would really call swimming.

This was better, though, so he didn’t complain.

Louis stared back up at his boyfriend with wide eyes. He pulled his arms out of the icy water and hung them loosely around Harry’s neck, tucking some of his curls behind his ears as he did so purely because, well, he was a little shit and he knew that Harry hated it.

"Nooooo!" Harry whined and tipped his head in the direction of his now exposed ear, attempting to shake the damp curls back into place without moving his hands from where they had a tight grip on Louis’ body.

When they were eventually free he pressed his forehead against Louis’, who looked slightly cross-eyed as he did so but nonetheless adorable. It was Louis, after all, when didn’t he look adorable?

He growled at him, attempting to be scary but failing miserably. “You know I hate my ears Lou.”

"Why Hazza, they’re cute." Louis giggled and made pouty faces at him in response.

Harry only frowned and grumbled in his throat as a reply.

Louis stared thoughtfully at him for a moment, his mind racing.

"You know, Haz, your step dad-"

Harry silenced him with a kiss. It was rushed and wet and forceful, but still beautiful. All of Harry’s kisses were beautiful. Although it was probably hard to describe them as anything else when his lips were just so god damn plump and soft and pink.

He pulled away with a frown still present on his face. “We don’t have to talk about him.”

"Okay, are you sure? Just know that if you ever want to, I’ll be more than willing to listen, Haz." Louis swallowed his words down, he didn’t like how deep and uneven his voice sounded when he was being serious.

Harry shook his head a little, but it wasn’t really in response to Louis. He couldn’t help but feel like it was more of a response to the internal battle going on inside his head. Louis wished he could read minds. Soon after, Harry stepped back and his face suddenly split into the hugest grin Louis had ever seen. His eyes were wide and tinted an electrifying shade of green, his perfect lips were parted so wide that Louis could have sworn that every single one of Harry’s teeth could be seen for a moment.

Harry tipped his head back and let out a bellowing laugh.

“I’M GAY!” He yelled out at the top of his lungs, his booming voice seeming to echo all around them and get lost under the sound of the waves at the same time.

“AND I’M IN LOVE WITH LOUIS TOMLINSON!” He turned to Louis now, his eyes blown wide and sparkling with excitement.

“I do, Louis, I love you.” He waded through the water back towards the boy he had his eyes locked on. When he reached him, there wasn’t a single moment of hesitation before he grabbed the back of his head with his hand and swiftly pulled their lips together.

Their hips lines up automatically, pressing against each other before Harry gradually lined up their bodies as well, pressing their bare chests against each other.

This kiss was deeper than the first - both literally and emotionally. Harry parted his lips and slipped his tongue inside Louis’ mouth, moving slowly and gently as he trailed his fingers through the back of his hair.

Suddenly he untangled his hands and Louis almost whined at the loss of the touch, but then he felt two large palms being placed on each of his shoulders and with one sharp push, he was underwater.

The icy water bit at his skin and he reflexively struggled to escape from the water to try and rid his face of the cold and fill his lungs up with air.

But then Harry’s hands were all over him and his lips were on his and he forgot all about the cold on his face or the salt stinging his eyes or the pain in his chest from lack of oxygen and focused on nothing but Harry and his soft, delicate lips.

They kissed until their lungs felt like they were going to collapse. They kissed until their throats felt like they were going to tear into shreds and their heads felt like they were going to explode, even though their hearts never really stopped feeling that way. 

They emerged from the water, coughing and spluttering for the much needed air that filled their lungs again, and soon after burst into loud fits laughter for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Harry connected their lips once more when they had calmed down a bit, but by the time he pulled away his eyes were shining with something different. He seemed almost worried.

"Haz? What’s wrong?"

"What?" Harry looked up immediately, trying to disguise his sudden change in mood "Oh nothing, I’m good." He forced a smile that wasn’t even half believable as he pushed Louis’ wet fringe away from his eyes.

Louis frowned. “Harry, something’s bothering you.”

Harry just shrugged, clearly not planning on giving in to Louis’ determination any time soon. “It’s nothing.”

Louis’ carded one of his small hands through Harry’s curls and used it to pull his head forward and press their lips together, before resting their foreheads together.

"What’s wrong, Harry?" His voice was a soft whisper, it would have been barely audible above the loud ocean if it weren’t for their close proximity.

Harry breathed deeply, preparing himself to bear the news that had been clogging up his mind. He couldn’t keep this from Louis any longer. Sure, it wasn’t that big of a deal, but he still had to tell him.

"A few of the cheerleaders are putting together this end-of-school party thing."

Louis nodded, not really seeing the problem yet and prompting Harry to continue.

"They’re doing it through school, though, like it’s going to be just like a prom or whatever, except for the fact that we’re not seniors and we don’t get to leave school yet."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Everyone’s going to dress up all fancy and whatever. They’re even going to have a prom king and queen. You have to bring dates."

Louis was quiet. “Oh…” He let his voice trail off, considering the word ‘date’. Realising the evident sheer impossibility of attending the party/prom with his boyfriend.

"Caroline asked me to go with her…"

Louis swallowed and pulled his head away from Harry’s but left his arms dangling around his neck. “It’s okay, Haz, I understand.” He stared at his bare chest and watched as water droplets trailed down his skin to distract himself from developing any real emotions towards the situation right now.

Now was definitely not the time to cry or get upset, it was obviously so difficult for Harry to tell him this, him crying at the news would just make him feel terrible. And Louis didn’t want that. It wasn’t Harry’s fault, after all.

And it was true, Louis got it. He just didn’t like it. Almost exactly like the way he didn’t like but simply understood the way in which Harry had to spend time with his mates, and hide every time they were seen together to avoid the shallow minded rumours that were probably true - but no one could know this.

Harry kissed him deeply then and it was somewhat apologetic. Louis didn’t think he really had anything to apologise for; it wasn’t his fault, but he accepted it anyway. 

"Thanks, Lou. I love you."

Louis’ voice was quiet and apprehensive, as if not sure he should voice what he was thinking out loud just in case Harry got mad at his utter stupidity for even thinking about something that was so blatantly impossible.  
"I wish we could go together."

"Me too, Louis, me too."

And Louis wasn’t really upset, but he was too full of different emotions to really respond. He wished his mind would just pick one emotion and stick with it. So he just smiled weakly and whispered out. “I love you, too.”

Louis knew that the night would be full of Harry dancing - or more appropriately, dry humping on the dance floor - with an assortment of different girls, despite the fact that he would be attending with Caroline, this obviously wouldn’t stop them all from attaching themselves to his body like magnets. There was something about him that they all seemed to love so much.

He really couldn’t blame them, though. After all he had been subject to Harry’s charm just as much as them, hadn’t he?

Louis considered for a moment not even attending, not if it meant having to watch Harry getting photos with girls and dancing with girls and laughing with girls and girls girls girls. Not if it meant having to watch Harry pretend to he happy and heterosexual around them. Pretending that Louis was nothing to him but the gay drama freak that he was to everyone else.

But he knew it wasn’t Harry’s fault. He understood and appreciated the fact that Harry didn’t want to come out. Just yet, anyway.

And in some twisted way there was a part of him that enjoyed having a secret relationship with the boy who was probably the most popular in the whole school. It made the whole thing seem even more exciting, keeping it hidden from everyone else. For now, anyway.

Louis wondered who he would take as a date…


	15. Chapter 15

Are you sure you don’t mind? Y’know, uh, going with a gay guy and everything? I’m not going to be offended if you say no. I’ll understand, really."

"Don’t be silly, Louis, of course I don’t mind! I mean I know it’s obviously just as friends, and I’m not sure anyone else would have asked me anyway to be honest!"

Louis chuckled awkwardly through the phone. “Oh, I’m sure they would have…” he offered weakly in response and cringed at his answer, thankful that they weren’t speaking face to face. She was probably pretty hot, but finding girls attractive was just not something that Louis did. Neither was complimenting them, apparently.

"I don’t know about that! Anyway, we’ll have to discuss what colours we will be wearing to make sure that we match. I’ll talk to you about it at school, yeah?"

"Yeah of course! I’ll see you tomorrow."

"Bye Louis." 

Louis hung up the phone.

After much consideration towards the topic, Louis had decided that, no, the idea of being the weird kid that didn’t go to prom didn’t really appeal to him all that much. He was already weird enough as it is. What with being so into drama and acting, not to mention gay.

But the decision to go to prom also comes hand in hand with a number of other decisions. Such as what to wear, how to style your hair (yes this is definitely relevant in Louis’ life), how you’re going to get there, and most importantly, who to take as your date. 

Sure, there’s the possibility of going alone, but where’s the fun in that? 

Louis realised that the obviously couldn’t take Harry, a) because he was already going with Caroline and b) because no one knew he was gay, and something told him that Liam would be inviting Danielle so the idea of going as friends with him was out of the question. There was absolutely no way that he would take another guy because, well, he wasn’t sure if there even were any other gay boys at Hall Cross and he didn’t want whoever it might be (or Harry) to get the wrong idea and think that he was interested.

So after mentally sorting through the rest of his options (which, by the way, were incredibly limited) Louis had come to a conclusion.

And now it was official. He was taking Eleanor Calder to the prom.

This wasn’t a bad thing, in fact, it was probably the exact opposite. Eleanor was a nice enough girl, and not to mention quite attractive despite the fact that she was nowhere even close to Louis’ type (let’s just say she had a V where he would rather see a P…). So why was he so god damn nervous?

Louis flopped down onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling, wondering how on earth he was going to tell Harry, and how he would react to the news.

Surely he wouldn’t get mad, right? After all, he himself was taking Caroline of all people.

~*~

Incidentally, Eleanor and Louis had become quite good friends over the past few days. Ever since the football game he had sat with her and the rest of her “group” every lunch, and seeing as Liam and Danielle were dating, he didn’t have much of an objection to their new seating arrangement either.

Louis, Eleanor, Liam, Danielle, Stan and Andy. They were a weird mix, Louis thought. Liam the football player, Stan and Andy were two tennis players, Eleanor who organised the school newspaper each month, Danielle who was part of the school dance troupe, and him. The gay, drama freak.

He didn’t really see how he fitted into the group, but then again they wereall so different. Perhaps that was why they worked so well together. Louis didn’t mind, he was happy and they seemed to enjoy his company, so that was all that mattered.

"So Louis" Eleanor began as she slumped down onto the bench next to him. "What do you think of this dress?" She pulled out her phone and showed him a picture of the dress she intended to wear to the prom. Although considering she was the one wearing the dress in the photo, he figured that she had already bought it and would be wearing it whether or not he gave his approval.

It didn’t appeal to Louis all that much, if he were being honest. The navy blue of the skirt was nice, but it didn’t match the heavily sequinned deep red bodice. It looked tacky. He thought it looked more like a costume than a formal dress, but Eleanor liked it and that was all that mattered. He wasn’t the one that had to wear it after all, right?

"It’s nice." Louis smiled at her. "I like the blue on the skirt." Well at least that wasn’t a lie.

"Yay!" She squealed and hugged him sideways on the bench, squirming a little as she did so. "I’m glad you like it. Do you think you’ll be able to match an outfit for it?"

Oh I’m way ahead of you, sweetie. Louis chuckled to himself, because from the very first moment he laid eyes on that dress the only thing that had been going through his mind was possible suit ideas. “I’m sure I’ll be able to piece something together.” He smiled sweetly in response instead.

Liam chuckled from across the table. “Oh El, no need to worry. Louis’ probably already mentally decided what he’s going to wear.”

She giggled and glanced at Louis who blushed under her gaze. It was true and everyone knew it.

That navy blue shirt with the white collar that he saw the other weekend (now he had an excuse to buy it, yay) would match nicely with the blue of Eleanor’s skirt, and those white suspenders with two thin navy blue stripes and one deep red one going down them that he never had an excuse to wear, paired with some tapered deep grey trousers. Yes, that would work quite nicely. Oh and not to mention a pair of smart, pointy toed black shoes. Or should he roll up his trousers and go for a pair of white converse. Oh the decisions. Louis really was quite a diva sometimes.

"So Dani, do you have a dress yet?" Eleanor questioned chirpily and Louis listened as the curly haired girl fell into a detailed description of a dress that sounded a lot nicer than Eleanor’s.

They continued for a while and Louis zoned out of the conversation, trying to picture what his outfit would look like next to Eleanor’s dress at the prom and decide whether he she wear his hair feathered to the side like he usually did or slick it into a neat quiff, when Liam’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Lou will you come to the canteen with me?”

"Huh… what? Why?"

"Because I want to buy some milk, and you know how much I hate walking around school by myself. Besides, you don’t look all too busy anyway." He gestured a hand at him.

Louis rolled his eyes and chuckled at his mate. Liam’s obsession of always being around people was kind of cute, really, so who was he to refuse the offer. “Alright fine, but only if you buy me an apple juice.” But he was already standing up from the bench.

"Of course!" Liam grinned in response, his brown eyes crinkling at the sides. "Anyone else want anything?"

The four people remaining at the table all shook their heads and politely declined before starting to discuss Stan and Andy’s dates for the prom. This Liam was thankful for as he only had enough money for what he and Louis wanted, and wasn’t even sure why he had asked in the first place. It was just a habit of his, being too damn friendly all the time.

Louis and Liam began their walk towards the canteen silently. It wasn’t awkward, they just had nothing to talk about. They didn’t need to talk.

The added silence provided a better opportunity for Louis to catch the fight that was taking place at the table they were about to pass. Not that it would have been easy to miss it though, the boys involved were being pretty loud.

He kept his eyes fixed to the floor as they approached the table, not wanting to accidentally get involved in something that didn’t concern him at all.

"Don’t you fucking lie to me you little shit!" That sounded like Zayn.

"Just calm down alright, hear him out." And that was definitely Niall, there was no mistaking that Irish accent. Oh no.

Louis didn’t want to look up. He felt sick. He didn’t want to see what he knew he was going to. But he did. He looked up. And there was Harry being held by his shirt front by Zayn. 

The three of them were surrounded by a group of people watching on selfishly, hoping for a fight as they shouted out words of encouragement.

Niall was flailing about beside them, trying to separate the two boys but to no avail. Harry looked the least bit intimidated or scared, if anything Zayn looked more scared than he did. But still, Louis’ stomach flipped when he saw him being held roughly in place by his shirt front.

"I’m not lying to you Zayn, I’ve got better things to do with my life than hook up with your girlfriend." Harry rolled his eyes and tried to pry Zayn’s fist open, frowning at the way his shirt was beginning to crinkle under the grip.

Everyone knew Zayn’s girlfriend, Perrie. She used to attend Hall Cross last year, but left school altogether when she had been kicked out for showing up to school drunk one day. Her and Zayn were the typical high-school stoner couple. Often they would arrive late to school with red rimmed eyes and goofy smiles smelling suspiciously like marijuana, or just skip school altogether to have sex by the lake and smoke more weed. She had quite a reputation for her strong use of drugs and hardly ever did any work when she was at school, except for art. Perrie was well known by the students for her abstract artworks (few people suspected them to be inspired by her copious drug trips) and a few of them had even been placed around the school, only to be torn down once she was expelled. It was impossible to not like Perrie Edwards, she was always so happy and cheerful (albeit probably from drug use) so ever since her departure from Hall Cross she was still welcomed into parties with Zayn and all of her old friends. It was like she never even left.

When Liam worriedly approached Cher and asked what all the fuss was about, she told them that apparently Perrie had been caught hooking up with another guy at the football afterparty on Tuesday night, and when Zayn confronted her about it she broke down in tears and claimed that it was Harry, and that he had forced her to do it.

Of course this was a lie a) because Harry hadn’t kissed anyone other than Louis in the last couple of months and b) he wasn’t even at the afterparty. Apparently this factor was not a reasonable argument to Zayn, however.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Zayn tightened his grip and glared at Harry.

"Nothing, Zayn, just let me go. I didn’t hook up with Perrie, I wasn’t even at the afterparty." Harry sounded bored.

"Bullshit." Beads of spit flew from Zayn’s lips as he hissed at Harry and pulled him impossibly closer until their foreheads were practically touching.

"I wasn’t, don’t you think you would have seen me if I was there?" Harry’s tone was so calm, so un-intimidated and Louis couldn’t help but wonder how he did it sometimes. But he was getting angry now, that much was evident. He wanted Zayn to leave him alone.

"Stop making excuses, prick, why would my own girlfriend lie to me?"

"She probably doesn’t even remember her own name half the time because her brain is that fucking fried from drugs."

That was a mistake. That was a huge fucking mistake Harry. 

Zayn reeled back and flung his fist into Harry’s cheek bone with a sickening slapping sound that seemed like something out of a cartoon.

There was a cheer from the crowd and Louis inhaled sharply, clapping his hands over his mouth. Louis could almost picture how this scene would look if it were a comic, with the jagged “POW” sign and everything.

Harry’s head flew back at the contact, but his body stayed in place due to the unwelcome grip Zayn had on his shirt.

"You’re a little slut, you know that." Zayn hissed again, and threw Harry to the ground by his shirt. Or, attempted to, as Harry was too strong and remained standing, glaring furiously at his so-called-mate.

Harry seemed entirely unfazed by the punch and Louis almost laughed because confronting Harry styles was probably the stupidest thing a person could do, unless you wanted to make a fool of yourself. 

Harry’s hands were balling into fists at his side and Louis silently prayed over and over that he wouldn’t retaliate to Zayn’s actions. He’s not worth it, Haz. Fuck him, just forget about it. Don’t get yourself into trouble over this. And apparently Louis’ prayers were heard, because only seconds later Zayn turned and stalked away from him, after leaving a generous glob of spit on the floor by his feet.

A number of boys trailed after him like sheep and Harry simply sank back into his seat, followed by Niall and a few other boys. Caroline was there too, Louis noticed jealously. 

The group of people were trying to console him, but he wasn’t interested, not in the slightest. He was staring at Louis through the crowd of people with piercing eyes that couldn’t be read no matter how hard he tried.

"Meet me after school" he mouthed silently to Harry as Liam began to pull him away, probably not wanting to be associated with a fight in school.

Harry only nodded.

~*~

"I fucking hate Zayn."

Harry pushed up off the wall and stalked away from it, shoving his hands in his pockets and more than half expecting Louis to follow him.

"No you don’t." Louis rolled his eyes and quickly fell into step beside his boyfriend, noticing where his eye had begun to blacken from the blow, apparently not bothering him at all though. "You just hate how he’s acting right now."

"No, I do hate him, Louis. I hate everything he stands for. I hate everything he believes in. Fuck, if it weren’t for him I probably would have come out by now."

Well Louis definitely wasn’t expecting to hear that. 

"Really?" He questioned quietly, interestedly, stealing a sideways glance at his boyfriend.

"I dunno, probably." Harry shrugged. "People are just so fucking immature sometimes."

Harry picked up his pace.

"I’m taking Eleanor to the prom."

Louis’ words felt like ice in the air. They sounded spiteful, but really they weren’t. He knew he had planned on telling Harry this afternoon, but right now? Really Louis? Did you really have to tell him right now?

"What?" Harry questioned, his words were blunt, but he heard him clearly enough. He stopped walking and turned sharply, staring at Louis who fidgeted under his scrutinising gaze and refused to meet his eyes.

"I said I’m taking Eleanor. To the prom party thing. Eleanor Calder." Louis was playing with his fingers awkwardly and tried his best to seem calm but he knew he was failing himself, miserably.

The pause that followed his words dragged on for what seemed like a thousand painful eternities. Every second that passed stabbed Louis a little harder in the gut as he waited for Harry’s response.

"You all done with blokes then?"

Louis felt his shoulders drop and he slumped his head forward. “Harry don’t be-“

"Don’t be what, Louis? Don’t be honest? Don’t speak truthfully because the truth fucking hurts sometimes?" Harry was gesturing wildly with his hands as he spoke and Louis found himself flinching on more than one occasion

Louis didn’t reply.

"Well you know what Louis, if you’re done with me you could at least have the decency to let me know properly, instead of fucking some random girl from school and ditching me like I mean nothing to you any more. Or did I never mean anything to you?"

"Harry you know none of that is even close to being true." Louis’ voice was small, vulnerable, scared.

"Oh isn’t it?!" Harry’s voice raised and he threw his hands up beside his head. Louis didn’t like this Harry. The angry, intimidating side. It scared him, he wanted his calm, cuddly Harry back. Where had he gone? "Well I honestly can’t think of any other possible reason why you would want to take Eleanor fucking Calder to the prom when you love having my cock up your arse so much, so enlighten me, Louis."

Harry’s fists were tightening by his sides for the second time today, and this was something that certainly didn’t go unnoticed by Louis. His heart was beating a thousand times a minute inside his chest and he could practically feel the sweat beads forming against the skin on his forehead. Louis felt like he was going to throw up. His throat felt thick. He thought all of this was done with? Over forever? Harry was unpredictable, he flew off the handle sometimes, but he promised. He said he would try his hardest to never hurt him ever again. Louis felt his forehead tighten and he closed his eyes and prepared himself for what he dreaded might be coming. What he feared the most.

Again he found himself praying that Harry wouldn't throw a punch for the second time that day. However this time it was different. This time he was the one on the receiving end of that fist. This time he was praying for himself.

However Harry noticed the look on Louis’ face.

"Fuck, I- I’m so sorry Louis. I’m being such a fucking dick. I’m a hypocrite, I know. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you."

Louis opened his eyes after a beat to see Harry visibly deflating, defeated, onto the edge of the retaining wall behind him.

"It’s fine, Harry. You’ve just had a shit day." Louis moved over and plonked himself down beside him, rubbing comforting circles in his back. "You just… scared me for a minute." His last words were painfully silent, as if barely spoken at all in fear that he would provoke Harry again.

"I hate that I make you feel like that."

Harry looked so small, no, tiny. So breakable.

"I don’t want stupid mistakes I’ve made in the past to stop us from being together, Louis. I’ll never hurt you again, I promise."

"Harry-"

"I’ve changed, I really have Louis, I hope you can see that. I’d hate for you to feel like you have to be with me because if you don’t I’ll bash you up or something stupid like that. I love you, Louis, I really do. And I-"

"Harry!" Louis cut him off short. "Will you stop being so ridiculous! I love you, with all my god damn heart. I never want you to say something like that again, okay?"

Harry sniffled back a tear that he hadn’t even noticed forming and smiled sadly. “Okay Louis.”

Louis pulled Harry into his warm side and smiled when he felt the way that Harry nuzzled his nose into his neck, his curls tickling the bottom of his earlobe.

It felt strange, comforting Harry. Usually it was the other way around; Louis would be the one being held and stroked.

But this, this was different. This was nice.

Louis enjoyed comforting Harry. Perhaps it was the fact that, due to having four little sisters, he had become quite skilled with comforting and calming people down when they were upset. Although then again, it was also very likely that the mere sight of Harry even remotely upset or anything less than cheeky and happy made his heart feel like it was going to combust inside his chest and incinerate him slowly from the inside out.

So this was good, comforting Harry. It was… comforting.

Harry was an absolute kitten when it came to being touched. He was a huge snuggler and Louis absolutely loved that. But if the only chance he got to comfort Harry was when he was upset or defeated like this, then he figured he could probably do without it.

Seeing Harry upset felt horrible.


	16. Chapter 16

One blink was all it took for the rest of the week to be over, flashing before Louis eyes at the speed of light. One week that had consisted of an afternoon shopping for his prom outfit with Eleanor (who had rolled her eyes and chuckled when Louis already knew exactly what he wanted and where to buy it from) and many long nights spent with Harry to compensate for said afternoon.

To say that Harry was jealous would be an understatement. He hated Eleanor. Which was stupid, really, both Louis and Harry knew this. For one, Louis was completely and utterly gay, the mere thought that he felt even the slightest bit of attraction towards the brown haired girl was ridiculous. And secondly, as cliche as it sounds, Harry really and truly was the only one Louis even cared about. Ever since they had been together Louis hadn’t even so much as looked at anyone else in ‘that way’. Harry seemed to disregard this fact, however, and seemed quite content in despising Eleanor.

Admittedly, Louis was somewhat ashamed with himself at how pleased he was over the whole situation. Harry being so protective and possessive over him should have been irritating. But Louis was only flattered, to say the least. The fact that his boyfriend was so worried that he would up and leave him for a girl despite the fact that he had been so flamboyantly, openly gay for years now spoke volumes to him. Volumes that meant Harry cared about him a lot more than he was given credit for.

One week and two days had passed by in the blink of an eye. And before Louis knew it, it was Friday night. The night of the prom. And Louis was staring at his reflection in the mirror, unsatisfied as ever by what he could see.

It’s not that he didn’t like what he was wearing. The outfit was great, perfect even, it looked even better on his actual body than it had done when he envisioned it in his mind (he had opted to not roll up his trousers at the ankle and slip on his canvas shoes as he usually did, deciding that he should probably at least try and look formal for once in his life) and his hair was perfectly messy, slicked into a tousled quiff that leaned ever so slightly to one side, just the way he liked it. His skin hadn’t decided to spontaneously break out and bless him with any unfortunate pimples right at the wrong time either, so really there shouldn’t have been a problem.

But Louis couldn’t help but envision what he would look like standing next to Eleanor. No doubt she would look stunning, too, despite her overdone dress, but Louis couldn’t help but scrunch up his nose at the way they would look beside each other in photographs. He kept picturing what he would look like standing next to Harry tonight, instead of Eleanor. He pictured them walking into the room together, holding hands, everyone turning and gasping as they emerged from the crowd, surprised to say the least at seeing the two unlikely boys together. He pictured them standing in front of the mottled backdrop, smiling for the photographer as he snapped the photo that would later appear hung in hallways or on mantelpieces in both of their houses, their cheeks pressed together as their arms were wrapped tightly around the other’s body, grins wide enough to split their faces and two pairs of sparkling eyes gleaming with happiness.

As Louis walked down the hallway from his bedroom, he couldn’t help but glance at an empty hook that hung expectantly by the door for the spare room, and envisioned the way his and Eleanor’s faces would look in this spot a few days from now. Where his and Harry’s faces should have been instead.

It should have been Harry’s face, not Eleanor’s. But he couldn’t help that. There were a lot of things Louis couldn’t help that night.

Deciding that there was no point in moping around about it, and that things could have been a lot worse (at least he had a date, right?), Louis quickly ducked into the bathroom and gave himself a final once over, and sprayed himself with the slightest bit of cologne before quite literally skipping down the stairs and making a huge show of entering the room where his mother and sisters were sitting, expectantly awaiting his arrival.

Cheers and wolf whistles echoed around the room as he entered, feigning a blush he giggled “Oh stop it, ladies!” and swatted his hand at the air.

“Don’t you look sharp!” Jay chimed as she already began taking photos of him from all sorts of angles. He called over his sisters who all excitedly latched themselves onto a limb each and grinned hugely, showing their shiny (or in Daisy and Phoebe’s case, lack of shiny) teeth.

“Okay mum, don’t mean to spoil your fun or anything but it’s getting kind of late and I need to pick up Eleanor now.” Louis interrupted the camera flashes as he began to peel his sisters from his body one by one and hug them each individually, leaving his mother for last.

When he pulled away from her embrace there were tears in her eyes, and Louis tried his hardest not to roll his eyes at her and laugh. “Mum, I’m not even graduating yet, why are you crying? There’s no need to!” He ran his hands up and down her shoulders comfortingly.

Jay sniffed and chuckled at herself “I know, I’m just being a sap, I’m sorry!” She dried her eyes and placed her hands on her shoulders, smiling at him. “Have fun tonight, okay? Take care of that girl… and no funny business.” She winked at him.

“Very funny, mum. Hilarious.” Louis flicked his wrist and raised his eyebrows as flamboyantly as he could as if to accentuate a point that didn’t even need to be spoken aloud, and made his way towards the door, unhooking Jay’s keys from where they hung on a rack by the door. “And thanks for letting me borrow your car. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” He saluted them, feeling terribly cheesy, and disappeared through the door.

Louis was thankful to say the least that his mother had agreed to let him borrow her car, which was albeit a little bit girly but hey, he was Louis Fucking Tomlinson for christ’s sake, and it was about 100 times better than his piece of shit that broke down every few kilometers. Which was part of the reason that Harry was always the one driving them around whenever they went somewhere together - not that he minded at all. Louis loved the way Harry looked when he was driving. He got all serious and lost in his own little world as he concentrated on the road and played with Louis’ fingers with one hand at the same time.

It had taken a bit of convincing for Jay to depart with her beloved car for the night, but after assuring her that he would only be driving it from Eleanor’s house to Stan’s, (they were taking a fucking limo to the prom from Stan’s house) she eventually gave in and agreed. Under one condition, that he doesn’t drive home drunk from the afterparty. Naturally, Louis was going to stay at Harry’s house tonight.

~*~

So there was really no point in hiding it, Louis was excited for the prom. He picked up Eleanor and smiled for a few photos for her parents, and drove them both to Stan’s house in a blur, it all went by so fast. Louis, Eleanor, Liam, Danielle, Stan, Holly, Andy and Zoe all posed for photos, joked about and had a few pre-drinks as they waited for the limo to arrive.

They piled in, sticky and even a little bit sweaty as they all flailed about trying to get comfortable. The car probably wasn’t big enough for all eight of them but hey, it was limo, so no one complained.

More than half of their grade was their when they showed up, fashionably late, much to Louis’ approval. He liked making a big entrance.

He stepped from the limo last, pretending to be chivalrous but really just wanting to make a scene of his own arrival, pulling his best smouldering expression as he glanced around at the crowd and adjusted his suspenders. He pushed the door shut and ran one hand delicately through his quiff, coolly waving at someone off to the side who was probably waving at someone behind him and not actually him. But who cares, it looked good.

Sometimes Louis wondered why he wasn’t a fucking model. He was too good at this.

It wasn’t hard to spot Harry. As soon as Louis entered the complex his eyes had landed on him, in fact. 

He was right in the middle of the dance floor, Caroline attached to his front in a skimpy bright red dress as they jumped and moved in time to some stereotypical song that Louis knew the real Harry would have hated.

The scene reminded him all too much of a memory he was hoping to forget. So quietly and a little bit hurt, Louis averted his eyes and pretended to busy himself with fixing the back of Eleanor’s dress.

~*~

Louis wasn’t being any fun, this much he knew for himself. All he had done the whole night was stare at Harry and Caroline with a disgusted expression on his face and occasionally check his phone (just in case).

Eventually Caroline detached herself from Harry (probably to go snort some cocaine in the bathroom or something, Louis thought jealously to himself) leaving him momentarily alone by the snack table.

This was Louis’ time to act.

Quickly, he ripped his phone from his pocket. One text, he would just send one text.

But Harry had beat him to it.

To: Louis  
From: Harry

You look nice tonight x

Louis face screwed up with an emotion that he was sure probably shouldn’t have been making him pull such a face, and his stomach felt like someone was tying it in knots.

Louis didn’t need to be jealous. He was the one Harry loved, not Caroline.

To: Harry  
From: Louis

Thanks, so do you :) x

And it was true, he did.

Obviously Harry and Louis had already shown each other their respective outfits (and may or may not have figured out a way that they could be secretly matching somehow without making it too obvious) but actually seeing each other across the room all suited up, and unable to physically tell the other how great they looked was hard.

So they had to settle for a text.

“Put your phone away, Louis, we’re here to have fun!” Eleanor giggled and made Louis jump as she grabbed his arm and sloshed a little bit of her drink around, tipsy from the pre-drinks at Stan’s.

“Harry will still be there at the end of the night, now lets dance!” She pulled him into the middle of the dance floor among the sweaty, jumping bodies and he reluctantly slipped his phone into his back pocket and skulked his way across the room.

They hadn’t been dancing for long when the music faded out suddenly, everyone in the room turning to the stage and booing the DJ, where their school principal now stood authoritively.

“Now now, settle down everyone.” He announced in his monotonous voice. “I don’t think you’ll be booing when you find out what exactly I am here to say.” He raised his thick eyebrows at them and produced an envelope from his pocket that read Prom King and Queen in curly pink writing. The crowd went wild with whoops and cheers and a few girls began fixing their attire and plumping up their boobs in their skin tight dresses. Louis rolled his eyes.

“Now I just wanted to say how fantastic you all look tonight,” the principal began “even though there is only one King and one Queen, I don’t want you to let that dishearten you because you all-“

“GET ON WITH IT!” A male voice that sounded suspiciously like Zayn Malik yelled from somewhere in the crowd and he was backed up with an uproar of cheers from the rest of the students, Louis included.

“Alright, alright settle down, settle down.” He waved his fat sausage hands around and set about opening the envelope. “Without further ado, the Hall Cross prom Queen is,” He flipped the paper over, and if he was disappointed by the female selection then he certainly didn’t show it. “Emily Austin.”

Everyone cheered and the stick thin blonde girl bounced up and down in excitement before making her way on stage, snatching the tiara a little too eagerly and placing it on her perfectly groomed hair.

“How do you feel, Emily?”

She grinned sickeningly and breathed into the microphone. “I’d just like to say a huge thanks to all my Hall Cross Warriors!” That was the name of the cheerleading team, apparently, as Louis had discovered when he attended his first one of Harry’s football matches. “I couldn’t have done any of this without you, you’re all beautiful, thank you so much!” Louis joined in the applause half heartedly as screwed up his nose at how horribly cliche this all was and struggled to recall just exactly what it was that she had done that she couldn’t have accomplished without the cheerleaders.

“Now, the Prom King is…” The stout man fumbled about with the envelope and Louis’ heart jumped into his throat. He knew it wasn’t going to be him (honestly, he hoped it wasn’t him if it meant that he had to wear that tacky looking crown for the rest of the night. Louis would rather die than be seen with that gold spray-painted piece of plastic on his head) so why the hell was he so nervous? He had no reason to be, after all.

“Harry Styles.”

Louis’ eyes widened in shock as he applauded. Not that he didn’t expect Harry to be King or anything, but didn’t a couple usually get crowned as King and Queen? Isn’t that how these things worked? Oh well, who cares. Harry was grinning so fucking adorably as he made his way onto the stage, dimples and all, as he bowed his head and allowed them to place the crown on top of his curly mess.

God, he looked so beautiful up there, Louis thought. His black pants clinging to his thighs in a way that should have been illegal, and that stupid bow tie that didn’t even match Caroline’s bright red dress but matched Louis’ outfit perfectly made him bite his bottom lip to stop it trembling for whatever reason Louis didn’t really even know.

Straightening the crown slightly to sit better on his head, he looked out towards the audience and grinned. A unanimous cheer filled the whole room and people shouted out words of praise and congratulations and “YEAH HARRY!”s.

“Is there anything you would like to say, Harry?” The Principal grinned at the boy and the students started applauding and cheering again, staring up at him expectantly.

Here it comes, Louis thought. The fake Harry now has to make a speech about how thankful he is for this opportunity, or something, and say how honoured he is to be crowned prom King and then he’ll probably thank the football team ans say how much he- “I’m gay.”

Well that wasn’t exactly what he had been expecting.

The room fell silent. Harry’s voice still ringing through everyone’s ears, an echo that wouldn’t disappear. Faces rapidly fell from grinning, excited smiles to blank expressions of shock, not disgust, just utter shock all around the room.

Louis felt like he was going to be sick.

“And I’m in love with Louis Tomlinson.”

Nope. This was not happening. Definitely not. Louis’ stomach was doing flips inside him. He was going to open his eyes in three seconds and this will all have been just a dream.

Three

Two

One

Blink 

But he was still standing in the middle of the dance floor, his entire grade silent around him and staring up at an incredibly proud looking Harry - he didn’t look nervous in the slightest. If he was freaking out even half as much as Louis was internally then he certainly wasn’t showing it - who was staring right back at him.

Slowly people began to turn around, mouths open wide, to stare at him in even more shock than they had been before. If Louis wasn’t frozen to the spot and utterly bewildered by the fact that his boyfriend had just outed them in front of what might as well have been the whole school, he probably would have yelled at them for staring at him like those dumb clowns at the circus that you have to try and throw balls into the mouths of. 

Despite his best efforts, Louis didn’t dissipate into nothingness and leave everyone standing there bewildered, contemplating whether or not anything from the last thirty or so seconds had even happened at all. Quite the contrary, actually. Some asshole decided it would be a great idea to shine a spotlight on him, drawing the attention of absolutely everyone in the room.

This was happening, this was actually happening. After months of wishing they could stop hiding and just be together, it was finally happening. Louis couldn’t believe it.

For a moment Louis worried that Harry was doing this only for his sake. So that Louis would be happy, and get his way. What if this wasn’t really what Harry wanted?

But he looked at Harry and Harry was looking at him and he had this look in his eye and Louis knew that Harry really, really wanted to do this. And that’s one of the reasons why he’s so, so proud of Harry. When he had first spoken to him - like, properly spoken to him - Harry was insecure and unsure of himself and his sexuality, he showed Louis a whole new side of him that he didn’t even know existed. But now… now he had come so far and he’s just so determined and proud and that’s something that Louis has grown to love so much about him, and he knew there was no going back now, but he didn’t mind, not one bit. Because whatever this was that he was doing. Harry was doing it with him. So he just proudly smiled up at his boyfriend with tears in his eyes and shook his head slowly from side to side, a smile tugging at his lips in gleeful disbelief.

“I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with Louis Tomlinson.” Harry began again, causing half the audience to turn back around at him while the other half fought to stare at both Harry and Louis simultaneously. “But when it happened, I didn’t find myself rejecting too much. At all, to be completely honest.” Harry smiled at him and there were tears in Louis’ eyes that threatened to spill out more and more with every passing moment.

Louis wasn’t sure when exactly his legs had begun carrying him forwards but somehow he had ended up directly in front of the stage, and Harry held out an arm and hauled him up to stand next to him.

“Because love isn’t something you can control.” He continued. “It isn’t something you have a decision over. Love is spontaneous. Love is equal.” Louis squeezed his hand and Harry glanced sideways at him and cupped his cheek with his hand. “You okay?” he whispered away from the microphone, and Louis only nodded in response, letting a single tear roll from one eye as he studied Harry’s proud face.

“Up until now, you all thought I hated Louis. And for a while I did.” Harry admitted sadly. “But for all the wrong reasons.” He raised his head and stared out at the audience, the principal still stood awkwardly by his side. 

“I didn’t hate Louis because he was gay, I hated him because I was jealous. I was jealous that he had the courage to come out and be who he truly was. And I didn’t. So I stay hidden behind my tough-guy football facade and I just… I lied. To everyone.”

He wrapped his spare arm around Louis torso and pulled him in close, earning a few murmured whispers from the audience. “Now I know this is incredibly cliched, but… Hate cannot drive out hate - only love can do that. So hate us the way you thought I hated Louis, if that’s what makes you feel better. But I love him, and I’m pretty damn sure he loves me too. So that’s all that matters to me right now.”

Without missing a beat or even the slightest bit of hesitation, Harry turned and planted a kiss right on his lips. 

Louis was completely shocked, if he had any inclination as to how Harry was going to end his speech, it had definitely not been this. He stood there frozen for a moment, utterly taken aback by the idea of kissing his boyfriend in front of his whole year level at school, before he realised that this was exactly what he wanted. They had come out. And it was perfect. 

They kissed for a moment, soft full lips on tender thin ones, still, simple, and perfect. They seemed to forget all about their surroundings. And more importantly, surrounding people. The whole room was silent.

Then it happened.

Barely discernible in the back corner of the room. Someone clapped. Just one small, irrelevant clap. Followed by three more. Then the person was standing, emerging from the crowd to make himself be seen. And it was Zayn. He was applauding them. Zayn Malik, of all people. Then Niall joined, then Liam. Then Danielle and Eleanor. One by one, everyone in the room joined in the applause. They bounced up and down and whooped and cheered for the two boys before them.

Bewildered, the two of them broke apart and stared out at the audience, thrilled by the fantastic reaction. They were applauding them, and it wasn’t sarcastically. They accepted them. And it couldn’t have been more perfect.

Harry pulled Louis into a tight embrace and buried his face into the crook of his neck, the pair of them swaying back and forth ever so slightly on the stage. Louis breathed in the earthy scent of Harry’s curls and whispered into his neck.

“You did it, Haz.”

“We did it, Lou. We did.” Harry corrected, pulling back to smile at his boyfriend. “I love you, Louis.”

Louis grinned at that stupidly beautiful boy in front of him and shook his head.

“I love you too, Harry.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE CHEESIEST AND CORNIEST FUCKIN' THING EVER OMG HOW DID I EVEN WRITE THSI

As Harry made his way towards the front doors of Hall Cross, his sweaty hand entwined tightly with that of Louis’, he couldn’t help but feel nervous.

Today was their first day of the new school year; their first day as seniors and consequentially, the first day anyone from school - sans the few of his friends whom he had seen over the holidays - would see him since That Night. 

Sure, there had been the afterparty, what with its claps on the backs and the drunken “Congrats Hazza ‘n’ Lou, ‘m so proud of ya both!”s. But Harry had realised that most of the people there were most definitely too drunk to really process any situation coherently anyway, so he passed on accepting their slurred appraisals until a later (and hopefully more sober) date.

Since That Night, it seemed as though Zayn and Niall hadn’t taken the news as horribly as Harry had expected, if Zayn’s applauding them during his little speech at the prom or his overly-cheerful congratulations at the afterparty wasn’t enough to go by, he had since seen Harry throughout the school break and explained to him that he just wanted Harry to be happy and was glad that he could finally accept himself, whatever he was. And Niall was just too much of a, quote, “carefree mofo” to care too much.

Despite the overall approval of his situation from everyone he really cared about, and the overwhelming support and constant reliability from Louis, Harry still couldn’t help but feel unsettled nerves as he walked toward school that morning. He, of all people, would know how badly the homosexual people were treated at this school. Why would he be treated any differently?

Harry probably should have been more surprised when Louis suddenly pulled him aside just before they entered the front gates of the school, but he had learned by now how excitable and spontaneous Louis could be, so it really wasn’t a huge shock to suddenly be pressed up against a bike rack by his boyfriend.

"You have no reason to be nervous, Haz, I’ll be right here with you the entire time." Louis spoke sweetly and gently as he pushed some stray curls away from Harry’s eyes. And Harry struggled to decipher the time when Louis started to be able to read his mind and know exactly how he was feeling at any moment ever.

Harry drew his bottom lip into his mouth and nibbled on it ever so gently, a nervous habit. “I know, but I can’t help it, Lou.”

Louis sighed and dangled his arms loosely around his boyfriends waist and Harry automatically enclosed his arms around his body in return, trying to stifle his stupid little smile and deep intake of breath. He breathed in Louis’ delicious scent of musk and skin and boy and suddenly had a desperate whim to grab his boyfriend by the hand and run as far away from school as possible and spend the day snogging him and tracing every last curve and dip of his body with his fingertips.

But then the chiming of bike bells and giggling of students pulls him back to reality, and the very present, very daunting shape of the school building reappears behind Louis’ figure.

"Take it from an expert, Haz, it gets easier. I promise." And really, Louis of all people would know this for certain. He’s basically a walking, talking definition for the phrase "it gets better".

Harry sighed with quiet delight at that. 

"And until then, know that I’m here for you, always."

"Always?" Harry didn’t even try to keep the smile off his face as he pressed a gentle kiss into the hollow of Louis’ perfectly sculpted cheekbone, ducking down ever so slightly to his height to do so.

"Always and forever." Louis confirmed and twisted his head to the side to press their lips together.

Harry rested their foreheads together when he pulled away, staring down at his boyfriend.

"What?" Louis chuckled bashfully after what was probably a moment of staring lovingly at each other too long, “what are you looking at?” The blush was evident on his cheeks.

"Just the most amazing person in the world," Harry almost whispered, feeling terribly cliche but nonetheless genuine, "who I am lucky enough to call my boyfriend."

Louis felt his organs slowly melt one by one and trickle down into a slowly dissipating pool in the soles of his feet. Louis is in a relationship with a hopeless romantic. A hopelessly romantic sap. And he loves it.

Instead of wrapping his legs around Harry’s waist and snogging the living daylights out of him like he felt like he wanted to, Louis simply looked down and let out a soft chuckle instead, shaking his head ever so slightly.

Harry cupped Louis’ chin with the palm of one of his huge hands and stared at the way Louis’ curved eyelashes fanned out against his razor sharp cheekbones as he blinked his eyes bashfully in what seemed to be slow motion.

"I love you, Harry." Louis whispered sweetly as his chin was pulled back up into level with Harry’s, who was still staring intently down at him.

"I love you too, Louis." Harry drawled and laced their fingers together once more.

Louis raised up onto his tip toes and pressed his lips softly onto Harry’s once more, secretly hoping that some people from school were watching just so that someone other than him could appreciate the love evident between the two of them (which was adorable and absolutely perfect, if he could say so himself).

"Now lets go face our first day as the hottest senior couple of the entire school." Louis winked at him cheekily and turned around, pulling Harry gently by the hand towards the entrance to the school.

And it’s there, trailing behind Louis with his palm stuck tightly and sweatily with his, and his lips still tingling from the soft peck that he had left there only seconds ago, that Harry decides the explanation for what his entire life has summed up to be over the past few months.

Harry is the luckiest boy in the entire fucking universe.


End file.
